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Mrs. Pug, New York City/Half Moon Bay, CA Age and Occupation: 33, Lawyer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, ditto Engagement Date: July 2008 Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay About Me: The Mr. and I are two 30-somethings who enjoy tasty sweets of all kinds, our neighborhood wine store, and cuddling with our pug. NYC is where we live and the city we love, but we’re doing the deed out in Northern California. We are trying to keep the affair small, intimate, and manageable. Our motto is: the less people, the better! (I’m kidding.)
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If Toula Can Do It…

January 11th, 2010 @ 12:18 pm by Mrs. Pug

Ms. Potato Chip wrote about a clever addition she had to wedding vocabulary: Bridol.

Bridol -noun- 1. a bride who becomes your idol or role model; 2. a previously engaged woman (or man) whose planning style and general attitude invoked feelings of respect and admiration.

My bridol isn’t real-life, although I’m sure many real-life brides have embodied the attitude which I so admire in my bridol. Whenever I fret about things not going just right at the wedding, worrying about how I will be pouring my blood, sweat and tears into an event that I can 100% guarantee will not turn out exactly as I had planned (that’s just impossible), I try to calm my mind and think of Toula.

Oh Toula, you are so wise. You are my comfort.

If Toula Can Do It...  :  wedding emotional relationships 10 My 10-My-

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It’s Toula (aka Nila Vardalos) from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Remember this little sweetie? Remember her dress?

If Toula Can Do It...  :  wedding emotional relationships My20bi My20bi

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Yeah. While I was embarking on a dress search to end all dress searches in order to find that perfect one, and then doubting whether I had made the right choice and calling my sister repeatedly for her affirmation, Toula practically gets a dress handed to her that makes her look like, as she says, a “snow beast.” And is she complaining? No, she laughs. I feel so small-minded next to her.

Remember her bridesmaids’ dresses?

If Toula Can Do It...  :  wedding emotional relationships Photo 0 photo_0

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Granted, I’m not having bridesmaids, but I think that this dress (again, a choice in which Toula had NO SAY) would make some brides huddle on the floor and weep. But did she freak out? Worry that just because her cousins have no taste, that that would reflect poorly on her and ruin all her pictures? No, Toula just let her cousins wiggle away in those pastel purple concoctions.

But you know what? Toula got married. And she seemed to be having a ball. She was still married to Aidan (he’s Aidan to me) at the end of the day. Most of what we consider important aspects of the wedding did not turn out as she may have wanted, but she let it roll.

So brides (and grooms)—if things start to go a little askew or awry at any point during the wedding planning or the event, let us all take a deep breath and remember—Toula had it WAY worse and she didn’t throw a crazy. And she got married to a hunk.

Disclaimer: easier said than done. While I will try to remember and practice this attitude, I hereby state that I do not in any way waive my right to later complain or express any disappointment with any aspect of the wedding.

What things kept you calm during your planning and wedding day?

Tags: emotional, relationships |
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34 Responses to “If Toula Can Do It…”

1 2 

1.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

LOLing at your disclaimer, Miss Pug!

 
2.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Sewing (message)  2,701 posts, Sugar bee

I love that movie :D And I completely agree with your disclaimer!

 
3.
Miss French Fries
Bee
Miss French Fries (message)  2,218 posts, Buzzing bee

That’s a great disclaimer — but you’re right. She had the right mindset going into it, and she totally married that hunky Aidan (still Aidan to me, too!).

 
4.
Mrs. Dee to Bee
Member
Mrs. Dee to Bee (message)  816 posts, Busy bee

Thanks for this. (: It has inspired me as I go into the last two weeks before our wedding.

 
5.
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Bee
Miss Guinea Pig (message)  1,377 posts, Bumble bee

Hahaha - love your disclaimer Pug :) And a good bridol!

 
6.
Ms. Library
Member
Ms. Library (message)  1,250 posts, Bumble bee

I keep thinking about this movie too! Especially the part where she is wiping off the cakes of makeup she is wearing. Classic!

 
7.
moderndaisy
Member
moderndaisy (message)  6,607 posts, Bee Keeper

He’s Aiden to me too!! And yes, my sister was a little like Toula, she just let people make a bunch of decisions all around her and went with the flow. Her wedding was amazing and she loved every minute of it!

 
8.
3pugmama
Member
3pugmama (message)  152 posts, Blushing bee

What an excellent attitude! And at the end of the day (wedding), YOU’LL have Mr. Pug!

 
9.
Mrs. Star
Bee
Mrs. Star (message)  2,057 posts, Buzzing bee

I love that movie (and Toula’s attitude!), and am sincerely obsessed with anything Greek or Greek-related since our honeymoon :)

 
10.
daydreamwanderer
Member
daydreamwanderer (message)  9,017 posts, Bee Keeper

this is such a good reminder! thank you!!!

 
11.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Cheeseburger (message)  1,020 posts, Bumble bee

Pug, I think YOU are turning into one of my Bridols! You have such a great humor and attitude about all things wedding planning, and I love it (and Toula!) :)

 
12.
Member Icon
Member
Miss Hot Sauce (message)  1,026 posts, Bumble bee

Love your disclaimer and the attitude you are trying to take on. I could not have come across your post at a better time. LOL I sent my bridesmaids some samples of shoes I would like but told them to feel free to shop around and find something they like within a few guidelines. My sister (MOH) is the one that is the most difficult and has been throughout the whole thing! she sent me pics of some shoes she’s looking at (nothing like what I asked for) and I am just to the point where I don’t really care. I had wanted a shoe photo of the girls…but you know what, its just not that important to me now. LOL Whatever.

 
13.
mdarrah
Member
mdarrah (message)  1,205 posts, Bumble bee

Me too! There were several points in planning our wedding when the Wedding Industrial Complex (a la A Practical Wedding), would sneak in or I would find that I was really stressing over a small detail and I would think about - or just watch - My Big Fat Greek Wedding and I’ve laugh and enjoy and calm down and thing - well, my family is probably just as crazy, but much smaller!

 
14.
Mrs. French Bulldog
Bee
Mrs. French Bulldog (message)  7,730 posts, Bee Keeper

He’ll always be Aidan to me too :)
Great Bridol and great post!

 
15.
tea
Member
tea (message)  7,288 posts, Bee Keeper

hahah love the disclaimer! though she is a great role model for that kind of go with the flowness

 
16.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Rainbow (message)  1,535 posts, Bumble bee

Believe it or not, I never saw My BFGW. I could only handle the first 15 minutes (i know, i know, everyone else loves it). But Toula definitely does have the right mindset. And you are so right… he is, and will always be, Aidan to me.

 
17.
Guest Icon
Guest
Jenn R

Ha ha! This is me at my Big Fat ITALIAN wedding that was planned for us by my husband’s family in Italy. I brought my own dress and did my own makeup (I learned that lesson from Toula!), but everything else was chosen for me. First dance to Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You”? Not my first choice, but sure! Smoke machine for the cutting of the cake? Well, okay.

It was fine! And fun! And all of the family was happy, which is what really matters in the end. (Plus, it was kind of fun being surprised all day because I had no idea what was happening.)

 
18.
krissycake
Member
krissycake (message)  4,160 posts, Honey bee

I LOVE that movie!! I even used that first pic as one of our table numbers.

 
19.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pencils (message)  1,027 posts, Bumble bee

haha I love it! He is def. Aidan always! Agree with your sentiment (and your caveat :)

 
20.
Miss Pretzel
Bee
Miss Pretzel (message)  1,893 posts, Buzzing bee

Love it- disclaimer goes without saying… Miss Pug you crack me up!

 
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Mrs. Pug
Mrs. Pug

Mrs. Pug, New York City/Half Moon Bay, CA Age and Occupation: 33, Lawyer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, ditto Engagement Date: July 2008 Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay About Me: The Mr. and I are two 30-somethings who enjoy tasty sweets of all kinds, our neighborhood wine store, and cuddling with our pug. NYC is where we live and the city we love, but we’re doing the deed out in Northern California. We are trying to keep the affair small, intimate, and manageable. Our motto is: the less people, the better! (I’m kidding.)

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