Weddingbee Blog

That is the one thing I never ever ever thought that I would hear myself saying. I am extroverted, I am outspoken, I am decidedly non non-confrontational. That’s not to say that I am confrontational, but I don’t let people walk all over me, I speak my mind, I say what other people are thinking but are too scared to say—that’s just who I am. I’m a lot like my dad in that way, and you’ll either love me or despise me, but I stay true to myself either way.

A guy once wrote in my high school yearbook that I was “ruthless”- I took it as a compliment. I’m not a mean person, I’m actually very nice, polite, and compassionate—until someone wrongs me, then I go for the jugular (granted… I do choose my battles). That said, on the rare occasion that someone gets me to that point, I say my piece and proudly exclaim to Mr. Rainbow, “A doormat, I am not!” That is, until now.

Do you remember this little post in which I wrote about cutting down our guest list? How proud I was to share the news—that we got our guest list down to 30 people? 30 people! That is awesome! I’m sorry, was awesome. Yes, you read correctly… was awesome.

We’re now up to around 45. I know, it’s still small, but as I said before, I had envisioned around 25 people. I was so happy to get it down to 30, especially considering we’re paying for the whole shindig ourselves. But, alas, 45 people. Ugh.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have some of my more distant family members join us for the wedding. They are family, and I love seeing them when I can, but I feel like it’s starting to become a family reunion and not so much a wedding; not the small, intimate wedding that Mr. Rainbow and I had hoped for, at least. So what happened? I’ll tell you what happened.

What happened was a word called “assumption”, and we all know what happens when we assume: It makes an ass out of you and… well, it makes me broke.

So what do you do when family members assume that they’re invited, and proceed to let you know (with enthusiasm, much less) that they’re excited about your wedding? Well, you roll over and invite them, no matter how much of an “un-doormat” you take yourself to be. You spend hundreds of dollars more than you anticipated—you order more invitations, up your tent size, your chair rentals, your catering head count, your favors, your everything—and you smile through clenched teeth because, on one hand, you really are fortunate to have so many family members willing to travel far and wide to be with you on your big day, but on the other hand… well, it’s hard to look at the dollar signs while waving farewell to your visions of an intimate 25 person wedding. *sigh* Ta-ta.

Did you have any friends or family members assume that they were invited to your wedding? Did you or did you not end up extending them a formal invite?