The Inexperienced Bride

The Inexperienced Bride

January 14th, 2010 @ 5:13 pm by Mrs. Buttons
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I have a confession to make. Wedding planning scares me to death sometimes!

…and why is this, you might ask? Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret about myself:

I am inexperienced… at weddings.

To date, I have only attended two (yes, count ‘em… TWO) weddings. One of them was my aunt and uncle’s wedding when I was a pre-teen, and the other was on Valentine’s Day last year (one of Mr. Buttons’ best friends/now groomsman). So, as you can imagine… I have not exactly been inundated with ideas from viewing the nuptials of others firsthand.

This is good and bad. On one hand, since I am the first out of my group of friends to tie the knot, I get to “set the bar”, if you will, for wedding expectations. I am the first to pick color schemes, select bridesmaid’s dresses, etc, and I don’t have to worry that I’m copying someone else’s look. Although personally, that really doesn’t matter in the end (I can say with confidence that no one’s wedding in my group of friends is going to be exactly the same… so who cares if colors or dresses are similar?).

On the other hand, I really wish that I had the experience under my belt of attending a wedding of a friend at this point. I feel so unknowledgeable in regards to etiquette, the order of how things progress throughout the ceremony and reception, and the like! My own wedding is going to be the first time that I’ve really been able to experience the full effect of one of these events… and I feel as though I’m going to be unprepared… or leave out something important! I sometimes wish that I had some friend nearby with experience in wedding planning to help me out (although…yay! My MOH has now joined the ranks of engaged gals). However, I do thank my lucky stars for the online support that I have received in the past months (through Weddingbee, other bloggers, etc.). I am amazed at all of the creative ideas that I’ve stumbled upon, and what a supportive community I have found in the wedding world… it’s very impressive! I can only hope that I can inspire or help someone else the way that many of my fellow bloggers have!

So… let’s hear it… are there any other “inexperienced” brides out there like myself? How have you managed to find planning help/advice?

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44 Responses to “The Inexperienced Bride”

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Member

hilsy85 (message) 3,680 posts, Sugar bee

Ditto! My first wedding was my sister’s wedding about 7 years ago– I was in high school and totally un interested in all the details. The only other wedding I”ve been to was one of FI’s cousin’s weddings this summer, and they had a completely different theme, venue, location, style–everything–so it wasn’t that helpful in terms of giving me an idea of how our wedding would go (although it was lovely in its own way).

1/14/10 @ 5:17 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

I’ve been to quite a few weddings, but unlike a lot of the ladies around here, I’ve never been a bridesmaid! So I did kind of feel inexperienced for that reason alone.

1/14/10 @ 5:25 pm (reply)

Member

Talishazwi (message) 1,444 posts, Bumble bee

I was the maid of honor in two last summer but I still feel inexperienced. I was involved but am still scared of all the details of the actual day.

1/14/10 @ 5:30 pm (reply)

Guest

Peter Ciresa

Really nice blog, a lot of good information.

1/14/10 @ 5:32 pm (reply)

Member

MichelleMyBell (message) 312 posts, Helper bee

I’ve never been to a wedding in my life and am also the first in my group of friends to take the plunge. My parents eloped, to boot, so my mom’s never planned a wedding either! I’m lucky for the ladies on the boards here or I’d have no idea what I’m doing.

1/14/10 @ 5:33 pm (reply)

Member

Champagne Wishes (message) 1,187 posts, Bumble bee

I use to plan weddings as a side job and I have attended about 10-15 weddings. But planning our wedding has been a WHOLE NEW BALL GAME! I can totally relate

1/14/10 @ 5:36 pm (reply)

Member

D.Marie (message) 2,484 posts, Buzzing bee

I attended a wedding last Oct. and was really hoping to be inspired…but I really wasnt! And it was another red bridesmaids and red flower wedding…which is far from what I want! My MOH is a blessing…she got married in 2005…I was a bridesmaid!! I love her so much…like the sister she should be. She has helped me so much because without her I would be an inexperienced bride and without WeddingBee, and other blogs I would be lost!

1/14/10 @ 5:42 pm (reply)

Member

bree72 (message) 2,086 posts, Buzzing bee

I was the first, too, and I will admit it was hard. Besides the fact that no one could understand what I was going through, I also had no one to bounce ideas off of. And there hadn’t been a wedding in my family since the early 90’s, so they really had NO idea. I completely felt lost when I started planning. Thankfully I found Weddingbee (about 4 months into it), and it seriously was everything I needed at the time!

1/14/10 @ 6:02 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Seashell (message) 1,713 posts, Bumble bee

Believe it or not, I’m kind of jealous! I’ve been to so many weddings lately that I feel like they’re all the same thing over and over. Use your fresh “inexperienced” perspective to make something unique!

And, of course, turn to movies if you need a “wedding feel” - Father of the Bride, My Best Friend’s Wedding, etc!

1/14/10 @ 6:04 pm (reply)

10.

Member

pmerr (message) 2,518 posts, Sugar bee

I’m inexperienced too! I’ve been to 5 weddings in the last 4 years, and before that, 2 which I was a flower girl in. It’s so hard to get ideas from weddings when you’re not planning or haven’t been to many.

1/14/10 @ 6:16 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Rainbow (message) 1,535 posts, Bumble bee

I, too, am an inexperienced bride. I’ve also only been to TWO weddings, and both when I was under 16.

1/14/10 @ 6:41 pm (reply)

12.

Member

KB (message) 169 posts, Blushing bee

I’ve been to..I think 5. & I didn’t really get much insperation from them. lol Just that purple (the one color I always planned on) is out as 3 sisters have used it. I want to be different…..oh and always have back up for weather conditions. Air Conditioning went out in church and reception venue on a very hot july day for my sister’s wedding. Not fun.

1/14/10 @ 7:21 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

Golden8214

I have been to too many to count. I was invited to 6 just last year. Almost every year I feel like I am going to at least 4 weddings. My family is huge and people are always getting married it seems.

1/14/10 @ 7:52 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Buttons (message) 5,046 posts, Bee Keeper

@bree72: Exxxactly! My parents and I are in uncharted territory!

@Miss Rainbow: I hear you!

1/14/10 @ 8:00 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Mrs. Swan (message) 1,046 posts, Bumble bee

I was a pretty inexperienced bride as well. Most of my family and friends are not married. I went to more weddings when I started dating Mr. Swan four years ago than I had in my own life. That being said I think it’s cool that you can do your own thing without expectations.

1/14/10 @ 8:08 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Blueshoes2 (message) 2,638 posts, Sugar bee

I’ve only been to a handful of weddings (maybe 3) and I’ve never been a bridesmaid or been in a wedding. I’m the first out of my friends and immediate family to get married. So yes, I totally get where you’re coming from!

Online resources have been so helpful for me. I still kinda feel like a “fish out of water.” I’m just learning as I go, I guess.

1/14/10 @ 8:13 pm (reply)

17.

Member

mimi06d (message) 646 posts, Busy bee

I’ve been to 3 …two of them before I was 16. I’m stressed to death about this ettiquette stuff.

1/14/10 @ 8:43 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Miss Cola (message) 2,868 posts, Sugar bee

I myself haven’t been to all that many weddings, but I’m gonna fake it til I make it! That, and I’ve been researching weddings since 2007….haha!

1/14/10 @ 8:46 pm (reply)

19.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I have been to four weddings (two while in elementary school and two within the last two years). I am also the first of my friends and the first child of my parents to get married. My wedding planning knowledge has come from WB, other wedding blogs, and a planning book my FSIL gifted me immediately after I got engaged. In some ways it is nice to set the bar for the rest. Let’s hope I do a good job!

1/14/10 @ 8:53 pm (reply)

20.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

P.S. Like Mrs. Swan, the two weddings I went to recently were both FI’s family/friends.

1/14/10 @ 8:53 pm (reply)

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