Weddingbee Blog

Well, folks, we’ve now come to my favorite part of our wedding ceremony: the promises and the bling. Since we both decided to write our own vows independently and not share them until the big day, the thing I was most looking forward to (even more than drinking wine and eating chocolate!) was hearing what Mr. Star had written as his marital promises. And let me tell you, the man did not disappoint.

Now, I am not a crier. I did not expect to cry. I did not expect to chuckle. But he made me and everyone else who was there do both.

I made cute little booklets in about five minutes just so we wouldn’t be reading from ugly scraps of paper. You have no idea how hard it is to make vows you’re not allowed to read into a pretty booklet!

Even our bridesmaids looked on with anticipation:

And my stepdad introduced the vows section with flair:

Vows

The secret of a loving marriage is in the emergence of a larger self. It’s the finding of one’s life by losing it. Such is the privilege of two people as they make their vows to each other, facing the world strong with the strength of two, wise with the wisdom of two, and brave with the bravery of two.

Kate and Dan have put a great deal of thought and feeling into what they wish to say to each other today. They appreciate the depth and power of the words they are about to share with each other and strive to work towards fulfilling their vows each and every day.

Groom

I was told early in our relationship that we would either go through a severely horrible break up or end up married. As this is our wedding, I guess my 50/50 chance ended on the right note.

Yes we have our differences…

You planned the whole wedding, I washed the dog.

You like fine dining, I like pigs in a blanket.

I love you, you love your dress.

He got quite the chuckle on that one from everyone there

But what others see as differences, I see as more of a balance and I vow to you these things to balance out our life-long exploration together:

From that point on, I was all serious and stuff trying to absorb every single word that he said.

Even the groomsmen were listening, that’s how you KNOW it was serious!

I promise to always listen and trust what you say. Be it after a long day of work or at 3 in the morning after a nightmare, I will always listen to what is on your mind. I love hearing you and it is my vow that I will always listen to you and try and see things from your side. You have views and experiences that I don’t, and listening to you teaches me something every day. We both make this relationship work and it is both of our voices that bring us together.

I promise to always take care of you and be at your side. Whether it is making you coffee every morning to help you get through the day, or being there for you through loss, I will always be there to take care of you. I promise to make you feel safe, loved, and always taken care of. We have made it through the good and bad, and I am very aware that there are plenty more to come. I have always told you that I am not going anywhere and I promise you that will always remain true.

I promise to always be honest with you. I am a man afraid of letting down the ones he loves and disappointing them and I am aware that I have a very hard time admitting my mistakes. It is my promise to you that I will always share my successes and disappointments with you. I vow to share everything I am with you and overcome my fears, as there should never be anything to fear as long as I have you.

I promise to always make you laugh and to help you appreciate living in the moment. I know your quirks as well as you know mine and I know that life can be difficult. It is my vow that through the good and the bad I will help you to laugh, to love, and to live in the moment from time to time, as life throws many curveballs, and who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I will always love you and I will live through today so that I can be with you tomorrow.

Then it was my turn:

Bride

Dan, you soften my sharp edges.

You hoist me on your shoulders when I can’t quite reach, and you calm my strained nerves after a day of struggling at auditions.

You have shown me what it is to truly love a man and you continually push me to be a better partner.

You are my strength when I am weak, and being held in your arms brings me more peace than I’ve ever found on this earth.

I vow:

To love you and no other, that we may happily grow up and grow old together.

To encourage your dreams, that you may seem them realized.

To hug, kiss, and touch you every day, that you may always be reminded of my love.

To celebrate your triumphs and learn from your failures, that they may become ours.

To become a part of your family and welcome you into mine, that our people may be each other’s people.

To continually work to grow together, that we may never grow apart.

To strive to the be best wife I can be, that I may always deserve the husband you will be.

To explore the wide world with you, that we may each expand our experiences and perspectives together.

To embrace our differences, that we may continue to complete each other.

By this last line, I had totally lost it — teary, red eyes and a voice cracking with emotion and all:

As William Butler Yeats said, “I have spread my dreams under your feet; tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”

And then it was time for some bling!

Rings

The exchanging of wedding rings is a practice that dates all the way back to the Ancient Egyptians. Like the men and women who have gone before you for thousands of years, may these rings be a symbol of the strength and power of your love.

Wedding rings are circles, like an unbroken circle of love that has no beginning and no end. May these rings always remind you of a love that continues to give and take forever.

When you are apart, the days can seem long and lonely. May these rings serve to remind you with only a quick glance down at your hands that you are never truly alone.

We each wrote these next little ring exchange bits ourselves and made sure to memorize them so we could speak and fumble with our new jewelry at the same time! Mr. Star kept mixing up his words when we were learning them, but don’t worry, Drill Sergeant Star worked that all out.

Exchange

Groom: Kate, home is where the heart is and may this ring remind you that I am never far away. It is a symbol that I give everything I am to you. Through the ups and the downs may this ring warm your heart knowing that I will always remain at your side.

Bride: Dan, this ring will be your daily reminder of the strength and beauty of the deep connection we share. It tells you and the world that I choose you to be my lover, my partner, and my greatest champion for today, tomorrow, and always.

With the really important stuff out of the way (promises and sparkle, promises and sparkle), we just had a song sung by our lovely friends left to go and then, we were officially married! One more ceremony post left and then we’re ready for our parade and subway ride!

Did you or are you planning to write your own vows?

*All photos by John Martin Photography *

The Star Wedding Recaps:

One Last Not-So Debaucherous Night
We’re Pros at Rehearsing, But I’m No Director
Dinner in Havana
The Girls Get Their Hair Done and The Boys Wash The Dog
Getting Accessorized
We Tackle the Beast
I May Be Biased, But… I Have the Prettiest Ladies Ever
Takin’ It to the Streets!
The Boys Goof Off (and Set Up, Too!)
Taxi Time
It’s Almost Time For Our Lives To Change Forever
My Big Break
Gathered in a Place of Magic — Ceremony Part I
The Circle of Love — Ceremony Part II
Oh, The Places You’ll Go! — Ceremony Part III