Weddingbee Blog

Yesterday, I was in the midst of a meltdown. It was just one of those days where everything was going wrong, and considering I’m almost positive that I suffer from anxiety, when those days happen, it’s really hard to calm down and snap back to reality. Generally it results in lots of tears and borderline hyperventilation. I’m not sure if that qualifies as a panic attack, but it sure as hell feels like one. Dandy, I know.

Anyway, when Mr. Rainbow got home from work yesterday, he could tell that something was wrong. As I was rattling off the laundry list of things that had gone wrong that day, I told him that I wanted to elope. Did I mean it? No, but it was my melodramatic way of saying, “the wedding isn’t on the path that I want it to be on.” Let me elaborate.

First, we canned our wedding party, then we cut our guest list down to 30 people only to add an extra 15 people because they assumed that they were invited, and it that’s not enough for you, we also pushed our wedding back 5 months because we now have to pay for the whole thing ourselves. Crazy, right? Planning this wedding has been a wild ride, and while I love the creative aspect of it, the logistics are driving me out of my skull.

After Mr. Rainbow and I were done having our conversation, I was trying to calm down and get my mind off of things, so I logged on to Weddingbee. The first post that was up at the time was Miss Chick’s “Bonjour” post. In her post, Miss Chick says:

I felt like everything for our wedding was becoming makeshift because I was holding on to my childhood idea of what my wedding would be: everyone sitting down to dinner, dancing, toasts. From renting the china, glasses, tent, silverware, to all my DIY projects, I was starting to feel overwhelmed and further and further away from what this wedding is about.

Uhm, yes. Preach. This is exactly how I felt. EX.ACT.LY. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I really felt like our wedding was morphing into this huge overwhelming monster that was slowly eating away at my sanity. Guess what wedding industry? I don’t need to invite everyone I know on this planet, I don’t need Chivari chairs, I don’t need a million bajillion dollar “platinum wedding”. All I need is my husband to be, and the people that love me no matter what. So what does that mean?

Well, first it means we’re only inviting our immediate family members. Parents, siblings, one aunt who is like a mom, and one friend who is practically a sibling. That’s less than 20 people (whoop! remember my goal was 25?). At this point, I’m not sure what else it means. We’re still keeping our new wedding date 10.01.10 because, well, it looks awesome, it’s my birthday, and I’m all for double presents. The colors and decor will also stay the same, and the photographer and videographer are still a go (they’re way too awesome to let go), but other than that, pretty much everything else is up in the air.

A big thank you Miss Chick, and all of you women who are going against the grain in this wild world of weddings. You’ve really reminded me what a wedding is all about—two people joining together in love. I have truly been inspired.

My, my, my, what a wild ride it has been so far. Stay tuned, even I don’t know what’s next!