Weddingbee Blog

The Day of Coordinator bandwagon, that is.

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If you’ve read Weddingbee for any amount of time, you’ve probably seen lots of posts on Day of Coordinators (DOCs), and bees debating why and why not to get one. I’ve read a lot of them (go here to read about DOCs and find links to bee posts, and here to check out some real bee DOC budgets), and, though it took me a while, I finally have a stance on the matter myself.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m a little crazy about wedding planning. My friends laugh at me. My family smiles nervously. Burger shakes his head. I don’t know why I’m like this, I just really enjoy planning our wedding - a lot! I’m sure others out there can relate.

On top of being totally nuts over planning our wedding, I’m also kind of a control freak. OK, I’m really a control freak. I’ve been working on timelines and projects for 18 months now, and I have a picture in my head of how I want things to look (BTW, it’s a pretty detailed picture).

I’ve posted before about how I’m worried that my craziness and high expectations may end up leaving me disappointed. Luckily, you all gave me such great advice that I came up with a plan. I’m going to allow myself to plan/worry/be crazy up until the week before the wedding. Then, once we’re that close, anything that doesn’t go my way is just going to be “OH WELL”. I’ve already started practicing - Rental place doesn’t have the right color gels for the uplights? “Oh well, that’s $150 bucks back in my pocket.” Our hotel blocks are filling at the speed of light only one week after sending out invites? “Oh well, there are links to other hotels on our website.”

See? I’m getting there!

But, I know myself, and this is going to be one plan that will be hard for me to stick to. I knew I needed someone on the inside. A partner in wedding planning crime, if you will.

Yes, our reception site has 2 coordinators, and they are wonderful, but I worried that our enormous wedding was enough for them to tackle, let alone setting up intricate tables throughout our reception. They suggested having family members help out. My mom, sister, FSIL and FMIL as well as 90% of my close girlfriends are going to be with me from 8 AM until go time, leaving them out of the picture. While I have plenty of aunts and cousins that I could have asked, I felt badly that we were already making them travel to the wedding - I couldn’t see putting them to work on top of that.

So, you know where this is going. I wanted a DOC. I wanted someone not affiliated with any of our vendors to be able to take charge. I wanted someone who could be my voice, eyes, ears, and hands on the big day, while I am busy, well, getting married!

I headed over to Nittany Weddings, where I found the contact information for Events by Hart. After sending out a brief email, I got a speedy reply from Christine Hart, who owns and manages EBH with lots of great information and, importantly, a very reasonable price list. Christine and I really clicked through email, but I knew there was one problem - I hadn’t cleared this yet with Cheeseburger Mom.

At the time, I was so excited about the prospect of having a DOC, that I quickly called Cheeseburger Mom and asked what she thought about getting a DOC. I’d love to say that all went smoothly and that she was immediately on board, but it didn’t go quite like that. I dropped it for the time being, and realized that I needed more concrete reasons for having Christine around on that day (if not for Cheeseburger Mom, for myself!).

And thus, our list of wedding coordinator duties was born. I sat down one evening and thought of every single thing I would do myself or remind myself to do if, say, I had a clone. I wrote out bullet point after bullet point, and I quickly realized that there was even more she could help us with than I had thought!

Confident that my argument for “Why?” was now backed by facts and not just “well, because I want one,” I approached my mom with the list. After reviewing it, she agreed that Christine was a great move, and even added some of her own ideas to the list!

After finally meeting with her in person, we knew we were in good hands. She reviewed the list like champ and didn’t even try to run away afterward! When our meeting was over and Cheeseburger Mom looked at me and said, “I can tell that you really trust her to accomplish your vision,” I knew she was right - I was totally ready to hand off 20 months of planning to this awesome chick.

And now, at the risk of looking totally bonkers, I share that list with you:

• Distribute flowers to men’s suite, take grandparents & Blessed Mother flowers to church
• Go to church early - hang lanterns, turn on LED tealights
• Set up unity candle, set Mary flowers in parent’s pew
• Set up program baskets, hanky basket, kid bags on table in entrance
• Instruct men on their arrival at church
• Instruct cousins on program distribution
• Help ushers seat guests in appropriate pews
• Receive & escort ladies to back room on arrival at back door of church
• Line up processional in order
• Receive pretzel delivery at ~2:15, set up display near door
• Leave church to go to hotel after delivery
• Ensure timely vendor arrivals – Cake, Flowers, DJ
• Hang picture mobiles, light remembrance candles, set up marriage certificate, family pictures, engagement album & blurb book under gazebo
• Hang restroom signs, set up bathroom baskets with signs
• Put vases on tables in lobby with water for girls’ bouquets (and get them from the girls when we arrive) for cocktail hour decor
• Set up place card table and reception room map on same table
• Put drink stirrers, guitar picks and golf tees in silver cups at the bars; set up cocktail napkins throughout tables
• Ensure lobby tables are set up by ~3:00 PM (as guests will start coming back to hotel)
• Ensure turnover of Bridal suites – men’s suite becomes bridal suite, ladies’ suite becomes party suite
• Arrange cookie & candy table - cupcake flags, glassware, candy signs, bags, scoops,
• Set up gift table with birdcage, sign & flowers
• Family table set up correctly – runner & candles in correct order
• Flip flop baskets displayed near DJ/dance floor
• Remind Miss Cheeseburger to put grandmother’s rosary back into bridal suite after pictures before cocktail hour
• Ensure seating available for guests during cocktail hour, and take gifts/cards inside to gift table
• Help to move guests into ballroom at 5:50ish
• Help to coordinate entrances – line up in order
• Coordinate cake cutting with DJ – box up top tier and cake topper -> bridal suite
• Also box up any dinner extras -> bridal suite
• Bring cards & gifts to bridal suite after dinner
• Help count table cloths – ensure all accounted for
• Receive midnight pizza delivery & set up table

Phew! Are you a crazy control freak who will become a relaxed bride on your wedding day thanks to a DOC?