We’re Trend-Setters

We’re Trend-Setters

January 22nd, 2010 @ 1:17 pm by Mrs. Mary Jane
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I smile whenever I see articles like this.

I’m not going to do a round-up of trends… this blogger already did. But I will give you a little bit of my own $0.02 about it.

A small wedding isn’t for everyone, I definitely know that. Some (OK, maybe a lot) of couples really have the need and yearning to throw a huge party and celebrate with everyone: from their second cousins to former coworkers to their parents’ mailman.

See this? This is the entirety of our wedding guests. I love this picture.

Photo by Shawna Noel Photography; faces blurred by me.

Our wedding was inexpensive, memorable, and perfect for us. One more picture (you have already seen this one):

The photos our family took of us cutting the cake in our home are priceless to me. Our first home will be a cherished memory in itself, and the fact that our small guest list allowed us to host part of the ’dinner & cake’ reception in our own living room? Well that’s just awesome.

But a small wedding can mean something different to everyone. A lot of the ’small weddings’ I see featured on various blogs have between 50 and 75 guests. (I usually think: ‘I don’t think we even KNOW 50 people?!’ But that’s beside the point.)

Because of our choice to have a small wedding…

We were able to have a short (6 month) engagement.
We escaped with zero debts.
We were able to splurge on important stuff (like our wedding rings).
We were able to spend meaningful, relaxed time with all of our guests.
Our wedding photographers only took 3 weeks to deliver our photos, and we didn’t have to pay them as much either.
There was no wedding party drama.
Much less planning stress (less vendors overall, and less concerns if something fell through, since it was only 7 guests we had to notify of any changes).

The list goes on, but I’ll get to the point. Take it from me, and everyone else who’s recently married:

Do what you want to do, within reason.

Don’t lie down and let your [insert opinionated family member here] walk all over you. If there are going to be conflicts, suggest compromises. Make naysayers understand that this is YOUR DAY, even if they are partially or entirely footing the bill for it. As much as your mom (for example) wants your dress to look a certain way and your reception to be held at a certain place… I bet that 9 times out of 10, she also wants you to have a wedding that you will enjoy. If you have a feeling of dread or hopelessness or you’re generally just a sad panda over your upcoming wedding, I really recommend finding the root of it and working it out. Make your day special.

We're Trend-Setters : wedding pro pics Sunflar01

Photo by Shawna Noel Photography

For Mr. Mary Jane and me, that meant having a small wedding. And we’re flanked by the Rainbows and the Chicks, and several other bees… and maybe you?

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25 Responses to “We’re Trend-Setters”

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Member

lilyfaith (message) 5,478 posts, Bee Keeper

You look gorgeous!
I’m so jealous - I really had my heart set on a small wedding (50 or so people) but my parents and FILs made it clear how important it is to them that certain friends of family and extended family were there. I think intimate weddings are amazing!

1/22/10 @ 1:23 pm (reply)

Member

tea (message) 7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

i loved your wedding. i won’t be able to have an intimate wedding but i do admire them

1/22/10 @ 1:30 pm (reply)

Member

Marinara (message) 392 posts, Helper bee

Ours will be small, too! Between 25-30 people. I can’t wait, I just want to remember every single person being there

1/22/10 @ 1:44 pm (reply)

Member

amy13 (message) 194 posts, Blushing bee

I’m one of those people who is having a large wedding and I am so pumped for it. I have to admit that when I get stressed I do sometimes think, “Wow, it’d be nice to have a smaller wedding,” but then I think about why we’re having a big wedding–because we both have gigantic, close-knit families and we are close with not only our friends, but our friends’ parents AND siblings and we want all of them to help celebrate. To each their own, right? Great advice as usual Mrs. MaryJane!

1/22/10 @ 2:12 pm (reply)

Member

Ms. Library (message) 1,250 posts, Bumble bee

I love how personal your wedding feels. I am hoping to create the same feeling with my wedding of a little over 100. Got to love my big family of cousins!

1/22/10 @ 2:36 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pug (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

i think, with the wedding industry the way it is, and families the way they are, it certainly does take a lot of sticking to your guns to have a wedding like this. not that larger weddings aren’t fabulous, but i really admire you guys!

1/22/10 @ 2:37 pm (reply)

Member

peanutlovespumpkin (message) 675 posts, Busy bee

I really enjoyed your wedding recaps and appreciate you sharing with us! One thing though: we’re not having a large wedding because of our “need and yearning” to have a large party; our families offered to throw us one, and we think it’ll be fun to have a big party with dancing and drinking. We would be equally happy to have a smaller, more intimate affair.

1/22/10 @ 2:47 pm (reply)

Guest

rafetna

We had a small wedding too-only 4 guests and it was the most beautiful day. I will cherish it forever. Months from now, we will be having a small reception (40-50 people) but I loved having such intimacy when we shared our vows. We cut the cake and had our first dance in my parents’ house. My grandma and sister fought it out for the bouquet toss.

1/22/10 @ 3:12 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Spaniel (message) 6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

I envy your small wedding… but my dream small wedding would have still been 60-75 people, so I guess it’s all relative.

1/22/10 @ 3:19 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss French Fries (message) 2,217 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m also in the “I envy you” boat. I wish we were having a small affair, but we know too many people (that we love!).

1/22/10 @ 3:26 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Sushi (message) 1,479 posts, Bumble bee

We had 19 peeps show up to our wedding. LOVED it! I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

1/22/10 @ 3:29 pm (reply)

12.

Member

Birdie Love (message) 1,683 posts, Bumble bee

I love your black and white photo!

We had thought “small”, but when we did the guest list, it turned out to be over 100!

I think we need to re-work it again (when I feel like getting back to planning) and see what we get.

Thank you for sharing your special day!

1/22/10 @ 3:32 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

Jessica Rae

We had a small wedding (50 ppl) but in laws insisted upon inviting certain ppl (some of which my husband didnt even know) because almost all venues here required a certain mininum number of guests.

We would’ve loved to have had a smaller wedding though.

1/22/10 @ 3:41 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

GummyBear

Awesome–I’m totally envious!! Unfortunately, I second those who have parents/in-laws that insist on additional family/guests. Even though my parents aren’t paying for or helping organize our wedding at all, they’ve already threatened to not show-up if certain extended family members aren’t invited (it’s a whole crazy cultural thing, with “showing face”, etc.).

1/22/10 @ 4:22 pm (reply)

15.

Member

KMSull (message) 6,442 posts, Bee Keeper

I wish. I wish, I wish, with all my might… that we could have a small wedding. But with me being the ONLY girl in the family and the oldest and the crazy extended friend network that practically raised me… it’s impossible, and it makes me so sad.

1/22/10 @ 4:40 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Mrs. Mary Jane (message) 1,970 posts, Buzzing bee

@KMSull: hehe, to play devil’s advocate… I’m the only child, not just of my parents, but throughout the family pretty much. (I don’t know how we pulled this off, looking back. somehow no one fell apart or exploded!!)

1/22/10 @ 5:10 pm (reply)

17.

Member

littlemissmoo (message) 3,006 posts, Sugar bee

I love your wedding! We’re having a small 15 person ceremony and then keeping things sweet with the families by having a bit of a big reception. It keeps everyone happy and the less family stress the better!

1/22/10 @ 6:08 pm (reply)

18.

Member

mimi06d (message) 646 posts, Busy bee

I tried to cut ours down to immediate family and between the two of us, its still almost 60 people. Can I just say I love your dress! You looked beautiful!

1/22/10 @ 10:02 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

It’s so refreshing to see a perspective like yours, Mrs. MJ! Your wedding was beautiful and you and Mr. MJ did not compromise what you wanted for the day at all.

1/22/10 @ 10:36 pm (reply)

20.

Guest

Sarah

One of the recent weddings in our family was originally going to be immediate family only, courthouse, lunch at a diner nearby, and done. The MOG just couldn’t handle that, and guilted the couple into doing…well, still a pretty small wedding, but with a white dress, in a church…everything they didn’t want. It was really no way to start a life together.

1/23/10 @ 12:11 am (reply)

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