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Bless your beautiful hide,
Wherever you may be.
We ain’t met yet
But I’m a willin’ to bet
You’re the gal for me.Bless your beautiful hide
Prepare to bend your knee.
And take that vow
Cause I’m tellin’ you now,
You’re the gal for me.
She’s gotta be right to be the bride for me.
Bless her beautiful hide
Wherever she may be.
My hide was hiding indoors, far away from the two feet of snow that accumulated outside our house last December. What better way to spend that snowed in snow day than watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (the source of the lyrics above- am I the only person under 60 who likes this movie?!?! Yep, prolly) snuggled up next to my loverrrrrr?!?!
I truly love this movie—for the dancing, the feisty nature of the main character Millie, and the bright technicolor of the film—but in watching again, as an engaged woman, with a keen eye toward the underlying chauvinisms, I’ve noticed more than a few things. Beyond the song solely devoted to being a June bride (”for they say when you marry in June… you will always be a bride”), there are a gazillion things that make you wanna say “ooh” and “no”!
Take the first song, where the mountain man Adam comes down from his farm into town to sell his recent crop and find a wife. Of course, this is Hollywood, so he finds Millie, the perfect woman who can cook and clean and has blue eyes and blonde hair to boot. There are some trials, but of course, heathen Adam finds out about true love after a few songs, dances, some kidnapped girls, and Millie having a baby… and they all live happily ever after.
Looking past every not-so-subtle reference to true love being found in a shotgun wedding, the movie makes another statement. Adam has decided it is “time” to find a wife, which is what leads him to marry Millie the day he meets her. It reminds me of a story line in the timeless classic series Sex and the City (yes, I said classic). In this episode, the girls compare men to taxis. Know where I’m going? Essentially, it boils down to a simple assumption that there comes a point, or an age, when men become “ready” for marriage and whichever woman he happens to be dating will become his wife (because it was finally the “right time” for the man).
I love me some Sex (and the City) but you gotta wonder about the chauvinistic undertones of this modern day analogy.
So we women are just supposed to lolly gag around, get gussied up and keep looking purty until a man’s “available” light comes on and he descends from the mountain because he’s “ready” to marry now? Hmmm…
Where I come from (one largish town in the great state of Idaho) it’s pretty uncommon to be 25 and unmarried, or even married sans children. To be honest, 7 years out of high school graduation most people in my graduating class can now check one or both boxes. For this reason and many others, during high school I surrounded myself with friends whose mindset was similar to mine about when the right time to marry was.
Now, I’m about to check one of those boxes, and I am the second out of our friend group of seven. It’s an overstatement to say I’m ashamed, but I will admit to surprise. I always thought I’d be thirty before I got married.
This topic came up over dinner with my future family and I had to clarify myself then, as I will now. I am beyond happy, even ecstatic, to marry Mr. Pencils in May, at the ripe old age of 24. However, he and I are both incredibly surprised that we’ll be signing that marriage certificate so soon in our lives. It’s not that we haven’t dated for a long time—over six years—and it’s not that we aren’t sure about our decision. We both just had to come to terms with this idea of when the “right time” is to get married.
According to Hollywood, it’s when the man grows up enough to turn his “available” light on and/or sing about it. For my high school self, the “right time” would have come around 28 or 29. For my lovely, darling, amazing aunt who also lives in Idaho, the “right time” seemed to be as soon as Mr. Pencils and I had met, as she would ask my mother every. single. week. if we had gotten engaged yet.
I don’t know if there is a “right time”. I’m pretty sure I don’t think it relies on the man, as movies and shows would have us think, but I do believe there is some truth to the idea that men need a little longer to mature and realize certain things about the women they are dating and their futures. In the end, though, both Mr. Pencils and I had to have our “available” lights on at the same time and agree that it was, indeed, the “right time” before he could slip a ring on my left hand.
Do you think there is such thing as a “right time”? How did you know you were ready to be engaged and get married?
i LOVE 7B47B! the barn raising scene is a total classic. and gotta love Sobbin’ Women too 
my sister and i would watch this movie over and over and over.
1 - I love the musical too. You’re not the only one 
2 - FH’s family used to do what your aunt did all the time. For exactly 3 years. 6 months later he proposed. They actually had bets going. It drove me mental
I always thought (very very foolishly of me) that I’d get married at the same time that my mom did (26) and have kids around the same time that she did (27), also because it worked out very nicely with the career choices that I was making at the age I decided this (probably about 16). Instead I’m getting married at 24 but likely will try to keep to 27 as a age to start having kids.
And I don’t know when I was ready. It happened so organically and naturally that it never was like a lightbulb going off in my head. But I did know I wanted to marry FH around 2 years into our relationship.
AWESOME. I love Seven Brides for Seven Brothers! I’m getting married in May, but one of my bridesmaids and I were singing that “oh they say when you marry in June” song the other day. Because we’re huge dorks. But at least we’re not alone! Sweet.
I was with my ex for two and a half years and constantly wondered when I would feel that it was the “right time” for me to get anxious about an engagement. It never happened.
Less than a year with my SO, and I’m already excited. The right time for me had more to do with finding the right man. But I think for a lot of people it’s a big mix of everything going on in your life.
This will sound trite, but I think when you know you know. It may be 22 for some or 35 for others. I figured I would marry around 27-29 just because that’s what people around me seem to do! And it feels right, of course
Haha, I watched that movie all the time growing up.
I don’t think there is a “right time”. It’s sometime after you meet and get to know an adequately compatible person, I guess. That doesn’t happen for everyone at 18, or 22, or 30.
I love Seven Brides for Seven Brothers!
As for timing, I think there is a time when you feel ready, but it’s no good unless you are ready to take the next step with the person you are with.
I watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers a few weeks ago, too - probably the same showing on TCM! I loved the movie when I was little, but damn if it didn’t make me uncomfortable this time around. It was sweet enough to begin with, but the whole ‘kidnapping women to marry’ and emulating the Romans’ rape of the Sabine women freaked out both me and the Mr. I know times were different, but that’s just creepy.
This post, however, is poignant and thoughtful. I’m one of the first in any of my groups of friends to get married, and at 27 that seems pretty old. It’s all about doing what’s best for you and your fiance, not what preconceived notions you or society has.
I LOVE that movie. Still do. What’s not to love? Songs about Goin Courtin, a character named Dorkus-and of course being able to quote all the names from memory. Which I can still do. Adam, Benjimin, Caleb, Daniel, Epfrahim, Frankencense (cause there were no F names), Gideon, and Hannah. Yea! 
There’s a time for everyone, and it will happen when it happens I think. I’ve noticed in my group of friends there’s a clear division of ‘right time’. There’s the senior scramble where a bunch of people got engaged senior year and got married within a year or two of graduation-and then the thirty tango. Around 29-32 when the second wave hits. But there’s a few scattered in between here and there. But I’m a disbeliever in the “magic” time.
I watched this when you did, too! My mom actually Tivo’d it while I was home because she insisted it was the best musical ever and that I would love it.
Uhm, not so much. The dancing was impressive but I could not have been more offended by the story line! They KIDNAPPED women! It’s the classic, “She says no but she means yes,” which is total rape culture. My mom thinks college has turned me into a “Feminazi”. I also cracked up every time Adam burst into song, which annoyed my mom to no end.
I disagree with the taxi theory about men, though I think that can be true for some folks - men and women. Some people are ready for commitment and settling down and its not so much about the person. They would never acknowledge that but I think its true for many and there’s nothing really wrong with it… I honestly think loyalty can be a better foundation for a marriage than hot, fiery romance, honestly, because romance can fade.
But for me and my FI, and a lot of people we know, we weren’t even thinking about the taxi light - much less turning it on! - until we met the right person, who shaped us into a new, better version of ourselves, more mature and ready for commitment. For us, we didn’t arrive at being ready for marriage on our own - we got to that level together, and I firmly believe we wouldn’t have been able to with other people. The way we work together just made that journey easy and inevitable.
One summer my mom made my sister and I watch every “classic” musical she could think of, and this was on the list! I loved the songs then but I’m sure if I watched it now I’d be a little more attuned to the underlying ideas! I guess I think there is a moment that everyone has at some point (or I guess never for some people!) that’s kind of like turning your light to ‘available’, but obviously that time is different for everyone!
I don’t think there’s a “right” age — I think that when you’re ready, then you’re ready (but both people involved need to be at that point!).
i think there is a “right time” to get married but not necessarily a “right age” which i feel is being interchanged for each other in this post. the right time to marry can be at any age, whether its 22 or 32 or heck, 52. it’s whenever we feel that we’re fully ready to understand and accept the full weight of what marriage really means.
<3 for 7 brides… we did it in high school drama and i will always love it.
i was reading a magazine today where one of the readers’ poll questions was “when you get to a certain age, should you ’settle’?” and if memory serves, the majority said “no.”
for me, i’ve been ready. my ex was ready, but he wanted to “do it right” and had no money. so it wasn’t the right time. the guy i’m with now… everything has fallen into place for us. in ways that make one believe in a higher power. seriously. everything has been happening at exactly the right time. so… when it’s right, you *know.* it’s something obvious.
and now i’m going to have “goin’ co’tin’” stuck in my head all day, thank you.
growing up, i thought i would get married at about 28–seemed like a good time. i was off by five years, but still happy to get married!
“Oh yes! Those women were sobbin’ sobbin’ sobbin’, Fit to be tied!”
Honestly, who doesn’t love SBFSB?
I love love love Seven Brides for Seven Brothers!! I feel like I was born in the wrong decade, I’m such a fan of musicals and old movies - hence the avatar picture of Gene Tierney. I always thought I’d be at least 30 before I got married, but here I am about to turn 24 in May and I’ll be married before 25. Now having kids, that’s still going to wait a few years….
I love that movie too!! I recognized that screenshot right away
Seven Brides- one of my favorite movies ever! I just found a copy at a used book store, I’ve been looking for it for a while.
The right time for us just happened to come along, neither of us had a set age or date that we should be married by. We just happened to feel the time was right, after oh, about 6 years! Basically, I finished school, we have settled down, and have the money and time for a wedding- oh yeah, and I have that silly requirement of getting married before we start a family.
I love Seven Brides for Seven Brothers! The mister will not watch with me–shocker, I know.
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Mrs. Pencils, Washington DC/Frederick, MD Age and Occupation: 24, Program Director, Education Non Profit Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Administrative Assistant, Ocean Conservation Non Profit Engagement Date: July 26, 2008 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: Morningside Inn About Me: I'm a nerdy Northwestern girl who always knew she was meant to live in the East, harboring a deep love of ice cream, underwear, Diet Coke with a splash of Coca-Cola, pashminas, scrapbooking, stationery, wall calendars and books written for preteens. I think every day should include good thin crust pizza, chocolate, an obscure historical monument, lots of laughter, a dash of wedding planning and, of course, amazing Mr. Pencils! I'm loving the adventure of planning a Maryland wedding and Rocky Mountain reception, and most of all, I just love love!
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