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Mrs. Sewing, San Mateo, CA/Honolulu, HI Age and Occupation: 24, Electrical Engineer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Electrical Engineer Engagement Date: June 27, 2009 Wedding Date: July 2010 Venue: Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu About Me: I'm an easily entertained, compulsive idea-scheming machine who loves good art, good food, and a good engineering challenge. I'm planning a half-destination wedding on the beautiful island of Oahu - imagine a plethora of movies, art and games; savory Hawaiian food; blended Chinese and Japanese cultural details; lush, fragrant tropical flowers and all the air conditioning a NorCal native could want! And once I marry the love of my life, we'll come back to the 'mainland' to party it up all over again in my hometown of Salinas, the salad-bowl capital of the world!
About Mrs. Sewing

The Unofficial Officiant

February 2nd, 2010 @ 2:46 pm by Mrs. Sewing

Recently, Mr. Sewing and I were presented with another hurdle the destination wedding decided to throw our way.

Officiants.

Sure, it would have been easy enough to book someone already in Hawaii, but we had to be difficult, didn’t we? You see, we have the blessing of being quite good friends with one of our “mainland” pastors, and it just seemed like a perfect idea to have him marry us. More meaningful, perhaps, since he already knows us as a couple.

So we talked to him, and as luck would have it, he was already planning a vacation with his family there that same summer! And as they hadn’t firmed up their plans yet, they moved their schedule around our date.

At this point I was pretty happy, we had our officiant, and he was someone I knew. What could go wrong?

Mr. Sew’s dad, even more practical than Mr. Sew himself, pointed out: “Is a California minister legally allowed to marry people in Hawaii?”

Ehhh.

Well, as it turns out, no - they are not. Only folks licensed by the state of Hawaii can perform Hawaii marriages. It makes sense, I just hadn’t thought of it.

So we could either -

a) Get legally married at the Honolulu courthouse, and be married before God with our un-licensed Pastor.

The Unofficial Officiant :  wedding officiant Histori

(source) At least it’s pretty!

or

b) Have our pastor apply for a license to perform weddings in Hawaii.

The Unofficial Officiant :  wedding officiant Image Preview 300x300

(source)

The grand master plan? Try for B, and if it fails, go with A.

Luckily, becoming a licensed officiant in Hawaii isn’t that hard. You do need, however, to show proof of your ordination papers. When we let our pastor know this - he cringed.

“I’m not technically ordained.” He said.

Errr. WHAT?!

The color drained from my face. Yet before I could contemplate the concept of being deceived by a man of God, he continued to explain that his ordination papers misspelled his name by one letter, so it was very difficult to “prove” his identity with them. He just hadn’t bother getting it fixed since it didn’t effect his ministry in our town.

I wish I could say we have a resolved problem at this point, but I can’t. At this point, our Pastor has tasked himself with getting his ordination papers corrected, and then we will try again on getting him a license for Hawaii.

The Unofficial Officiant :  wedding officiant Pastorvance Img pastorvance-_img

(source)

To celebrate our Pastor’s eventual certification, I think we should give him his very own wedding conch shell.

So the moral of the story? Going out of your home state to another state or country often includes laws on what you can and can’t bring in. This includes officiants!

Are you using an officiant you know? And has anyone else had trouble “importing” their officiant to their wedding?

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16 Responses to “The Unofficial Officiant”

1.
Miss Pug
Bee
Miss Pug (message)  3,753 posts, Honey bee

i hope it all gets resolved quickly! i’m glad his “deception” didn’t turn out to be anything too earth-shattering! we are avoiding the whole issue by getting married at city hall a few days in advance and then having a “fake” ceremony on the wedding day. i’m lazy.

 
2.
lindz221
Member
lindz221 (message)  80 posts, Worker bee

Wow that is crazy! I hadn’t thought about that…our officiant is my FI’s dad and he is from another state. I hope it is legal!!!

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

Oh my gosh, what a dramatic series of events! I hope it gets worked out; that would be much nicer than having to do two separate ceremonies. But if not, at least you have a viable alternative plan.

 
4.
lindz221
Member
lindz221 (message)  80 posts, Worker bee

Oh whew I just looked it up and ministers don’t have to be a resident. Thanks for the heads up though! I hope everything works out for you!

 
5.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

I really hope it works out for you guys, so you get to be married by your pastor!

 
6.
teaadntoast
Member
teaadntoast (message)  2,595 posts, Sugar bee

Yep. New York State requires that out-of-state officiants applying for a license to perform marriages within the fice boroughs must provide proof that they are currently the active leaders of their congregations. No retirees allowed.

This did not go over well with FI’s grandfather - a retired minister. We’re looking at your option A, at the moment.

 
7.
lkbphmd
Member
lkbphmd (message)  662 posts, Busy bee

That’s great that your pastor is been so willing so far, I hope it works out. Oh, and I totally think he deserves the conch shell when everything is said and done!

 
8.
hungrybruno
Member
hungrybruno (message)  28 posts, Newbee

Just want to throw this link out there because I just found out about it yesterday. If you’re not using a clergy member, Massachusetts will issue anyone a “JP for a day” one day marriage officiant license… might be worth looking into in other states, too. http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=gov3modulechunk&L=1&L0=Home&sid=Agov3&b=terminalcontent&f=one_day_marriage_designation_instructions&csid=Agov3

 
9.
Miss Giraffe
Bee
Miss Giraffe (message)  4,216 posts, Honey bee

Oh man! I hope everything works out! And that’s so nice your pastor was able to move his plans for you!

 
10.
Guest Icon
Guest
tinab1181

Yes actually! I clerked for a Judge in NJ, but have lived in Philadelphia, directly across the river for years. I wanted our Judge to marry us. I asked in Philly if he could, they said yes, I got my license there and thought: Done. Of course one week before the wedding the Judge unearths that he could not legally marry us in Philadelphia. So we had my sister (who had been ordained through the Universal Life Church to do her best friend’s wedding) marry us at our small “rehearsal dinner”. I got the small wedding I always wanted on day one and an amazing albeit not legally binding one the very next day.

 
11.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Sewing (message)  2,701 posts, Sugar bee

@Miss Pug: smart, not lazy! saves a headache, that’s for sure!
@lindz221: glad there’s no problems for you! *phew!*
@teaadntoast: eep! sorry to hear that! all the legal hoops are really crazy…
@hungrybruno: interesting! thanks for the link!
@tinab1181: wow..finding out a week before, glad everything turned out alright! I probably would have flipped out!

 
12.
Miss Cardigan
Bee
Miss Cardigan (message)  8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

I hope it all works out!!!

 
13.
Member Icon
Member
KMSull (message)  6,442 posts, Bee Keeper

Ordinations are totally crazy and sometimes things get all out of whack. Mr. KM never signed his moral code… oops!

 
14.
Miss Nachos
Bee
Miss Nachos (message)  1,733 posts, Bumble bee

What an ordeal! We’re using whatever officiate the hotel gives us so I know he will be legal :)

 
15.
Guest Icon
Guest
Rev. Jack Thomas

I hope it all works out for you, its true that some states have strict rules on the Ministers that travel to their state to perform a wedding. As a mobile Baptist Ordained wedding minister from East Tennessee, I have not had any trouble marrying couples in Ky, Ohio, Ga, NC and SC, Ark, Michigan and Ill. I wish you well. Minister Thomas

 
16.
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Guest
The Official Officiant | Weddingbee

[...] back, we found out that our California pastor-friend was not legally allowed to perform marriages in [...]

 

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Mrs. Sewing
Mrs. Sewing

Mrs. Sewing, San Mateo, CA/Honolulu, HI Age and Occupation: 24, Electrical Engineer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Electrical Engineer Engagement Date: June 27, 2009 Wedding Date: July 2010 Venue: Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu About Me: I'm an easily entertained, compulsive idea-scheming machine who loves good art, good food, and a good engineering challenge. I'm planning a half-destination wedding on the beautiful island of Oahu - imagine a plethora of movies, art and games; savory Hawaiian food; blended Chinese and Japanese cultural details; lush, fragrant tropical flowers and all the air conditioning a NorCal native could want! And once I marry the love of my life, we'll come back to the 'mainland' to party it up all over again in my hometown of Salinas, the salad-bowl capital of the world!

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