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Last month, Miss Snow posted a wonderfully informative graphic about weddings around the country. I almost snorted coffee out my nose when I saw that Seattle was the 4th most expensive city to get married in. Gulp! Why, you might ask, did we decide to get married here when neither of us is from here? When we first started to talk about getting married I offered up the suggestion that we get married in Fort Wayne, Mr Pretzel’s hometown. He quickly vetoed the idea, because he didn’t want the stress of planning a wedding from across country. I have to admit that I let out a sigh of relief because I wanted to get married somewhere we both considered home, and at that point I had never even been to Fort Wayne.
The decision was made; Seattle is our home and Seattle it would be. However, when we started to compile a guest list we noticed a concerning trend.
70% of our guest list is a plane ride away. After an informal poll of our families we made another concerning discovery. While a good percentage of my family will be coming to Seattle, we estimated that only 10% of Mr Pretzel’s family would be celebrating with us.
Insert big sad face.
We combed through our 345 person guest list and estimated that we would have approximately 150 guests at our wedding. While that news is good for the wedding budget (remember, Seattle is the 4th most expensive city to get married in) it was hard on the heart. Mr Pretzel and I crunched the numbers, checked the calendar and made a decision.
We’d have the Seattle wedding and reception, plus a Fort Wayne party later.
I guess we could call it a hometown reception, but since it is only Mr Pretzel’s hometown I’ve affectionately dubbed it the “Midwest Party”. We can not only expect Mr Pretzel’s ‘UGE family, but also our college friends, my Michigan family and even some of our friends in the South or East coast. YAY!
Another quick tally and we arrived at a 200 person estimate. Whoa—that’s a party! Thank goodness Fort Wayne is much more affordable than Seattle. Mr Pretzel and I are footing a good portion of the Midwest Party bill, so we instantly started thinking of ways to keep the cost manageable. We decided to have the reception in November, months after our wedding so we could continue to save money. We’ll continue doing lots of DIY and I am looking to re-purpose a lot of our wedding elements at the party.
Over the Christmas break we started to plan our MW Party. I’ll be featuring some of the party elements in upcoming posts.
I get a little warm inside when I look at the numbers and realize that these two celebrations will enable us to celebrate with a very large percentage of the people who are near and dear to us.
Are you having a hometown reception? Do you have any cost saving tips that you can share? 
We are doing something very similar. We live in the NE but are having a DW in the south. And two weeks later, we’ll have a hometime reception - in my hometime, that is. : )
The wedding is smallish - 60 guests - but the second reception is going to 250+. Because the guest count is smaller for the wedding, that reception will be a sophisticated sit-down dinner, open bar, live band and… no kids! However, the second reception will be the total opposite - simple buffet food, beer/wine only, DJ and all the kid-o’s people want to bring. (I can already picture the hokey-pokey and “turning ourselves around…”)
Personally, I think we (as in you and I) are pretty lucky to get this second party. I really wanted a “grown up reception” but part of me was kind of sad to miss out on some of the standard, cheesy wedding rituals. And how can anybody go wrong with two parties?!?!
P.S. I decided NOT to wear the big, white, bridal gown for the second party. Instead, I got a J Crew bridesmaid dress in light pewter that I think will still allow me to stand apart from the crowd. I still just have to talk my mom down from the slide show of the actual wedding that she is wanting to project onto the wall of the reception hall (eww).
Nice! We are both from Southern California with no close family out of state (or at least not further than Nevada!), so it was pretty easy… but I love when there are two parties. 
We’re doing what you’re doing, Ms. Pretz. I’m from California, he’s from New Jersey, and we live in Atlanta. We’re having the wedding here, and the majority of our guests are flying in (I do feel horrible for inconveniencing everyone!). We’re estimating about 120 guests here, and we’ll hold a couples’ shower in Jersey, and a small family reception in California.
Yay 2nd reception! We’re keeping ours cheaper by being a lot less formal - free church gym for a venue, and a family caterer!
we brought this up for us, depending on where we do the second ceremony at, we’ll have a third(!) party in the other hometown.
Midwest holla! … Sorry, I’m just very passionate about my midwestern-ness. Is that even a word? Also I have a soft spot for Indiana. Let me know if there’s anything I can do — even though I’m 3 hours from ft. wayne.
I think it’s a great compromise for Mr. P’s family. And you get to keep celebrating months after the wedding! Win-win.
We are doing the opposite - Midwest wedding (where I’m from) and Seattle reception later! That is where the FI is from and he has a huge family there.
Yeah, we’re doing this too, a billion of FI’s relatives live in Minnesota, where I’ve been twice in 7 years together. Luckily, I’m told the aunts will all be taking over and doing things their way, so we probably won’t be paying much if anything. Apparently “my way” would disturb them? I don’t think of myself as all that fancy, but FI is convinced I am (but loves me for it, so). The Midwest, it’s crazy and mysterious to us bi-coasters!
Holy crap, you guys know a lot of peeps!! Great idea to have a second party if you can swing it, that will be so much fun and be something to look forward to so you can avoid the post wedding blues!
I’m getting married in FW in October!!! Let me know if you need any info!
@lindz221: Too funny!
@bunny: Will do Bunny! Indiana has a soft spot in my heart too- I lived there for 7 years during college.
@hopewell: We’ve encountered this a little ourselves. We’re trying to be sensitive to everyone involved, but still doing it “our way”.
@Miss Trail Mix: lol… have I mentioned that Mr Pretzel’s family is 140 people and that is just aunts uncles and cousins who live at home. :/
@Wigglesj:Awesome! Mr P’s youngest brother is getting married in the Fort this May. We’re going to scope out his DJ and maybe book him if we like his style… I am sooooo vendor stalking his brother’s wedding.
I think that’s a great idea. I love the thought of a reception AND a party later! Any excuse to extend the celebrating!
It’s awesome that you’re doing that! I’m having a hometown wedding, but then later on we’re heading over to Germany to party with the peeps that can’t come.
Holy crap, I missed that post from Miss Snow with the infographic. I can’t BELIEVE that NYC is only 9th most expensive, and LA 11th! I would have pegged those as #1 and 2 for sure. I was ready to wince at our own decision to plan our wedding in Seattle when you mentioned we come in 4th most expensive, but our other option seems to be even higher at #3! (We both grew up in the DC suburbs). I am not entirely certain I believe them.
We both have a lot of family who won’t be making it, but sadly I’m not sure an additional party would be much help. The remaining family are really spread out across the country so if they won’t fly for a wedding, I know they won’t fly or drive 8-15 hours for a party. Yours sounds awesome.
Woot! Woot! Throwing out some love for Fort Wayne…it’s my “big city” living in small town Indiana lol
Second all the happy wishes for extra celebrations!
We’re doing something similar - wedding in LA (our home), 2nd reception in Hawaii (my home state & FI’s family’s annual vacay spot). Since my mom’s in HI, she’s helping me A LOT in finding deals & steals…having someone close plan many details helps keep costs down & eliminates the need for a DOC @ the 2nd party. And, since the feel of our HI party is also going to be completely opposite our LA ceremony, we’re saving by having pupus (appetizers), shave ice/ice cream, & drinks instead of a full meal.
Hope your wedding & party are everything you wish them to be!
Woohoo! I didn’t even catch until you mentioned Ft. Wayne in this post that you married a Purdue grad! Boiler up from a fellow Boilermaker. 
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Mrs. Pretzel, Seattle Age and Occupation: 32 Learning, Training, and Development Specialist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28 Manufacturing Engineer Engagement Date: September 2, 2009 Wedding Date: July 2010 Venue: Catholic Church & The Engine Room at Georgetown Studios About Me: I’m just a thirty-something girl who never dreamed of weddings, poofy dresses, or ritzy receptions. I am a rabid knitter, except recently, wedding projects have replaced my yarn and needles. I’ve been fiercely independent since the age of 2 and 30 years later I think my family and friends had given up on me settling down and getting married. Ironically, I had to go all the way to Seattle to find a boy from Purdue. We fell in love over Seattle Beers and cooking together. I love NASCAR, he loves Legos. I can talk like a Muppet and he can fit a whole McDonald’s cheeseburger in his mouth. We are a two reception couple, currently planning a brewery inspired bash.
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