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One of the first things that I knew that I wanted for the wedding was a mehndi, but I had a bit of a tough time figuring out how to go about putting it together. I was a bit handicapped because my mother is not Pakistani (some Jews also use henna as part of their marriage celebrations, but not where Mama Spaniel’s family is from), so she was pretty much as clueless as I was, and there’s only so much information you can get about a women’s event from your father! I’d only been to one mehndi myself, when my cousin was married several years ago, but I did not have my wedding hat on yet. So, armed with some fuzzy memories of a loud party with really fantastic Pakistani food, I did a lot of research on my own, starting with my favorite wedding movie!
I can’t imagine having nearly so many people at the mehndi—where would they all fit?!—but this was the scene I’d had in mind:
the VIWs (Very Important Women!), singing songs, goofing around… and eating Pakistani food. What, you didn’t see that in the video? Well, half the point of this event is to eat good food, so you’ll just have to mentally edit that part in.
As I tried to work out the logistics with Mama Spaniel, though, we started to realize that a big gathering of family members in her home the day before the wedding was going to be pretty difficult. So after giving the matter lots (and lots) of thought, Mr. Spaniel and I reworked the event quite a bit. Instead of a bridal shower-like event, my mehndi will be more of an open house, at our place, where our wedding party (boys and girls!) will all be invited throughout the day. My family can actually get pretty tightly wound before big events (weddings certainly qualify as those!), so I’m really excited to be able to relax and spend the day with our friends! I think it’s going to be a darn good time… especially since I won’t be able to use my hands for anything for a few hours. 
Mr. Spaniel gets to do all the cleaning up before we leave!
How are you spending the day before your wedding?
i think that will be very nice because it lets the celebration last longer–a wedding’s a big deal, so why not have a “pre-party” of sorts in a more relaxed atmosphere to enjoy with family and friends? great idea!
I love Monsoon wedding, such a cute scene. I’m so jealous of the beautiful Wedding Mehndi too!
The Mehndi sounds great. I know I would be nervous both about cleaning before and after the event…but I tend to be a pretty high strung guests if lots of people are coming and there is an “open house” aspect to it. (I’m better with a seated dinner with a defined amount of guests, so I know exactly how much of everything I’ll need.) I didn’t realize quite fully this aspect of my personality until I hosted a little super bowl party yesterday with 20 some-odd people in my twee house. Originally I had planned for 12, but at the last minute (I guess others had cancelled their parties due to the giant snow storm the day before) a number of guests asked if they could bring more people. In the end, we had more than enough food thanks to the fact that people brought food, but it could have been sticky.
That’s not to say it won’t be awesome, I totally think it can be! In fact, as a guest I would be honored and thrilled to take part in such a gathering. As the bride? the day before the wedding? I might be hesitant. I know I was a giant ball of nerves my day before (which was actually, also the day we legally were married) - what with last minute prep of escort cards (we used candy apples) and getting family that traveled in where they needed to be.
Good luck no matter what you choose!
@tinab1181: that would be I tend to be a pretty high strung host. Clearly the cough medicine has gone to my head.
oh i enjoyed the movie clip so much! 
I think your plan sounds wonderful!
We are also doing a non traditional mehndi. The man is Pakistani, but I’m not, and his father is, but his mother isn’t, though she did convert to Muslim. We are combining the mehndi and pithi parties and my future in laws will be hosting it in the hosue they will be renting for our wedding weekend. I’m pretty lost on everything that will happen, but I know that it will be a fun event and I’m going to just go with the flow!
That is going to be so much fun, it sounds delicious too. You’ll be beautiful.
No idea what we’re doing the day before the wedding, but I know it will involve lots of time with family in from out of town. Ohhh yeah, and the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
i love henna… its so beautiful and unique in its own form… the art and tradition part is impressive
That sounds delightful! I’ve always wanted to be able to be a part of one of these. Is that strange? Probably. Whatev.
@Miss Pug: Definitely! Our wedding is getting pretty large, so this will allow us to hang out with the people we *really* want to see beforehand. 
@tinab1181: It will actually be fairly small–it’s not an open invitation to all of our guests, and since it’s during the day during the week we’re unlikely to have too many takers. In any event, I’m pretty much envisioning a *very* casual gathering and lunch (and NOT self-catered by any means!), so the only real stress, if any, will be in the clean-up… so we’re getting a service in to help clean up to prepare, using disposables to eat from, and just a quick wipe down of anything on the way out!
@GwenMarieDC: I bet you will have a great time!
I think it’s great that it will be at your house, so convenient for you!
@Miss Nachos: Shhh, half the reason we’re doing this is so that I don’t have to drive two hours across town to my mom’s place. Don’t tell anyone!
That will be so much fun! I remember that scene from Monsoon Wedding–it was so beautiful. I can see why you’d want your celebration to feel like that (but with food!).
[...] got the idea pretty early on that I wanted a mehndi-styled cake, and there was no shortage of beautiful [...]
That sounds like a fun day! I can’t wait to see how it turns out in your pictures!
Ohh fun! I’ve been to quite a few Mehndi ceremonies (rasms) myself. Drop me a line if you have any questions or want tips etc.
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Mrs. Spaniel, Los Angeles Age and Occupation: 28, Law Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Psychologist Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Calamigos Ranch About Me: I'm a third-year law student trying to balance graduating with starting my career, keeping up a relationship, and, oh yeah, planning an Old World, multi-cultural, "mountain lodge" wedding for 180 guests! A South Asian Jewish girl getting ready to marry my handsome Catholic Dane, I'm hoping to blend our cultures in our wedding just a bit more gently than by providing samosas as appetizers and offering æbleskiver for dessert. (Although that would also be awesome.)
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