Wedding Etiquette Circa 1974

Wedding Etiquette Circa 1974

February 9th, 2010 @ 1:53 pm by Mrs. Trail Mix
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A friend recently showed me a book she was (jokingly) gifted with after getting engaged this past fall. It is serious and well-intentioned yet so unintentionally hilarious.

It’s Carolyn Gibson’s Complete Guide to Wedding Etiquette, published in 1974 (which is about exactly where it should stay).

It was pretty evident from the illustrations in which era this book was published…

1974 bridal fashion

A few choice excerpts (including my own commentary):

“It is best not to select a bridesmaid or Matron of honor who is noticeably pregnant, as some unavoidable attention is always focused on her…”

I saw a pregnant bridesmaid at a wedding this fall and she was radiantly gorgeous. It’s a stupid rule and thankfully is rarely adhered to anymore. Celebrate those bumps, mamas!

“Small boys wear simple white Eton suits with short pants and white knee socks and white or black socks. Long pants or funny replicas of adult outfits are not appropriate.”

Ha! Who knew it was inappropriate to have your ring bearer wear long pants!

“If there is a bachelor party, it should be scheduled for two or three days before the wedding. It may be given by the groom, his parents, by the best man or by the groomsmen.”

Hmmmmm, apparently the author has never seen a little movie called “The Hangover”.

Note the awesome ’70s hairdos and the cheesy illustrations of the “required on every registry” items:

As hysterical as this book was, it also got me to thinking about how straightforward the rules seem in this book. The author almost never offers an alternative to what is “done”. No wonder our grandmothers expect one thing, our mothers expect another and you just want to do what you want to do, gosh darnit!

The rules were strict back then, it seems. I guess we really shouldn’t be surprised when our grandmothers and mothers gasp, taken aback, at some of our “modern” wedding ideas (the mustache trend is a prime example of this!). Ah, well, can ya blame ’em? I mean, look at all the rules they had to deal with. It’s not easy to realize the times have changed but all I can say is thank goodness they did!

Anyone else read or seen this book or something similar from the time period? How traditionally are you following etiquette rules?

Tags: etiquette |

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27 Responses to “Wedding Etiquette Circa 1974”

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Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

It’s so interesting to read stuff like this and see how uptight people used to be about weddings. And the illustrations–wow.

2/9/10 @ 1:58 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Star (message) 2,057 posts, Buzzing bee

Soooo glad I didn’t have to get married back when things were done the way they were done and there was no room for personalization. I love the age of anything goes at weddings that we’re in now!

2/9/10 @ 2:01 pm (reply)

Member

hungrybruno (message) 28 posts, Newbee

Holy cow, those illustrations are priceless. It’s not old-timey, but I did just read Miss Manners’ Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding, which is mostly hilarious, but also a little out of touch. No, you don’t HAVE to register, but it’s not rude (she says it’s like telling your guests you don’t trust their taste). Anyway, it was an interesting read.

2/9/10 @ 2:19 pm (reply)

Member

JoyfulBee (message) 167 posts, Blushing bee

This was an etiquette rule that I learned of recently:

While the groom is always congratulated, the bride is NOT. She is wished happiness.

Apparently, the reason is that it is uncouth to congratulate the bride, much like you would congratulate a person for winning the lottery.

2/9/10 @ 2:20 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Sewing (message) 2,701 posts, Sugar bee

ahaha, i love the drawings! i *need* a fancy tea kettle and candleabra!

2/9/10 @ 2:23 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss French Fries (message) 2,217 posts, Buzzing bee

Ha — this is an interesting post! Great find, TM!

2/9/10 @ 2:26 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pug (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

i wonder if people, a few decades from now, are going to look back at us and consider us very stuffy. probably, huh? poop. and i wanted to be cool FOREVER.

2/9/10 @ 2:27 pm (reply)

Member

Rosiebear (message) 219 posts, Helper bee

Can I just say that my Dad looked EXACTLY like the groom in the illustration! My parents were married in 1975 Groovy.

2/9/10 @ 2:34 pm (reply)

Bee

Ms Potato Chips (message) 1,193 posts, Bumble bee

I love it! This makes me want to save all my wedding magazines and take a fresh look at them in ~the future~ to see what’s funny/outdated.

2/9/10 @ 2:39 pm (reply)

10.

Member

His Barista (message) 5,774 posts, Bee Keeper

I may need to find this book for a laugh! lol.

2/9/10 @ 2:39 pm (reply)

11.

Member

mrspaetz (message) 3,805 posts, Honey bee

funny as this may be, i think even a lot of ‘must dos’ at weddings now are done ‘just because’ they’ve always been done at weddings, without prior thought about their significance / value.

2/9/10 @ 2:39 pm (reply)

12.

Member

gill84 (message) 725 posts, Busy bee

Hilarious! My mom gave me a similar book from when she was getting married - in the late 60s!

Did you know it was inappropriate for an engaged couple to travel together overnight unaccompanied by a chaperone, unless it is done by public conveyance, such as a train, bus?

2/9/10 @ 2:42 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Nachos (message) 1,733 posts, Bumble bee

That illustration looks just like Mr. Nachos! Ha, just kidding. Hmmm, I wonder if it would have been easier to plan a wedding having a strict set of rules to follow, with not so much decision making necessary.

2/9/10 @ 2:57 pm (reply)

14.

Member

vintage2010 (message) 2,257 posts, Buzzing bee

This is a great post. Where did you find the book? My aunt’s maiden name is Carolyn Gibson and I think she’d get a kick out of it!

2/9/10 @ 4:25 pm (reply)

15.

Guest

Angel

I love etiquette books…I have a collection of them, and I’m super jealous of your copy.

My favorite etiquette tidbit dates back to the early 1900s when it was considered crass to display the wedding presents. And prior to the 70s, wedding favors (according to the book All Dressed in White) were not used, but became a trend, and then became expected…so now there’s etiquette with wedding favors which I find kind of funny.

Anyway, I’m a big believer of knowing the etiquette, but doing what you want.

2/9/10 @ 4:37 pm (reply)

16.