Need Any Help?

Need Any Help?

February 10th, 2010 @ 12:40 pm by Mrs. Hamster
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Remember her?

Little Miss Helpful - gotta love her. OK, so her eagerness to assist in any way possible was a bit grating, but you knew that she genuinely loved helping others. I mean, have this gal choose between a box of cookies or an opportunity to help, and I think you know which option she’d pick. If only she were real instead of, um, a fuchsia illustration, I’d totally be calling her up during the wedding planning process.

Now don’t get me wrong, my mom and bridal party have offered multiple times to help out in this planning process. My sister has graciously offered to cut corners for me (as in, round the corners of our invites - but believe you me, we had a great guffaw about her cutting corners on my wedding). The trouble really is me - while these activities aren’t the most awesome pastimes in the world, they are easy and monotonous enough for me to do in front of the TV. But punching out corners of someone else’s invitations 960 times (that’s 80 invitations x 3 piece x 4 corners) sounds just… awful. Or cutting out 240 envelope liners (yes, I’m lining all my envelopes because that’s the *only* DIY I really know how to do) and lining 240 envelopes - horrid. Edge painting? Forget it. My family and friends would be glad to do it, but I wouldn’t be glad having them do it.

Of course, in her older sibling way, my sister told me to “get over it” - so I’ll be sending some cards her way for her to cut corners on. As for the rest, I’m still struggling - why is it so difficult to reach out for assistance sometimes?

Do you have trouble asking others for help?

Tags: diy |

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21 Responses to “Need Any Help?”

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Member

Ms. Library (message) 1,250 posts, Bumble bee

I’m with you on this one. I like knowing that I have control over the final outcome and I actually like doing all of the projects! I know the time will come when I need more bodies, but for now, I am okay as is.

2/10/10 @ 12:42 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss French Fries (message) 2,218 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m with you. I’ve done a lot of things by myself so far, with the exeption of our cloth napkins — I had the help of my sisters and my mom cutting them out, and then they sat in my dining room for a month and a half unfinished until my mom told me she’d get them done. It’s hard to ask for help!

2/10/10 @ 12:48 pm (reply)

Member

KMSull (message) 6,442 posts, Bee Keeper

I do! Although once I get started, I’m sure I’ll be plopping Mr. KM in front of a Dirty Harry movie with a beer and 100 envelopes to stuff!

2/10/10 @ 12:49 pm (reply)

Member

ladyox (message) 831 posts, Busy bee

I know what you mean, my bridesmaids came over on Sunday to help me with paper flowers and invitations and I kept apologizing for having asked them to help and they kept telling me to shut up because they were enjoying the process. I’m so grateful for their help and I loved having them over (there was also a lot of cheese, wine and chick flicks involved) but asking them to help and then actually LETTING them help was hard.

I think a lot of women have this problem and this need to not impose on people - we all need to remember that our friends and family WANT to help and if they don’t or can’t they will speak up.

Learning to graciously accept help is a gift to the helpers.

2/10/10 @ 12:52 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pug (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

sometimes i do, but not when it comes our paper goods for the wedding. my sister’s printing everything (i don’t want to print here and then trek them out to CA). and my brother in law is going to round corners. i’ve farmed out all that stuff. go me.

2/10/10 @ 12:54 pm (reply)

Member

Curlysue (message) 1,703 posts, Bumble bee

I do. It’s a control thing and I don’t mean to be that way. I guess I’m afraid if someone doesn’t do it exactly how I would like it or would have done it then I’ll be upset. I know that makes me horrible but I can’t help it.

2/10/10 @ 12:57 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Frozen Yogurt (message) 2,685 posts, Sugar bee

Um…most definitely! And while they’re helping I always say thanks about 100 times just to be sure they know I really appreciate it. Hell, I want to help with the shower prep because it’s for me, but I know that’s not going to happen.

2/10/10 @ 1:39 pm (reply)

Member

futurebean (message) 73 posts, Worker bee

I blame it on my being an Aries, and having a perfectionist, control freak-y, I need to do it to make sure it comes out right way of thinking. So, yeah, I have lots of problems asking for help!! Lucky for me, I have very understanding, pushy, crafty friends that genuinely WANT to help, and I trust them to do a great job.

How I am going to entrust my reception decor vision to a DOC, though, is a work in progress…!

2/10/10 @ 1:40 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Sewing (message) 2,701 posts, Sugar bee

me too. but not cause i feel bad, more cause i’m a control-freak, and have a hard time trusting others to “get it right”..*sigh* kind of a sad and not-good attitude to have though.

2/10/10 @ 2:12 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Newport Nuptials (message) 1,230 posts, Bumble bee

i’m the same way, I have 7 amazing bridesmaids who always offer help and I have yet to take them up on it! I’m too much of a perfectionist. I think once the bigger diy projects conme up, I’ll really need their help though.

2/10/10 @ 2:23 pm (reply)

11.

Member

Goldilocks1107 (message) 2,504 posts, Sugar bee

I think I’m too terrified of being called a “bridezilla” to ask for help! It seems like that term is flung around willy-nilly, and I don’t want it flung at me! I mean, I didn’t even ask FH to help put the return address labels on our RSVPs. I’ve got to get over it and remember that if I ask nicely and don’t demand something so outlandish it’s not even ridiculous, I’ll just be a bride asking for help. Not a monster demanding a slave.

2/10/10 @ 2:47 pm (reply)

12.

Member

Talishazwi (message) 1,444 posts, Bumble bee

Yes. And I feel a little bad because my mom keeps asking me to save stuff for her to do.

2/10/10 @ 2:57 pm (reply)

13.

Member

pvaulter718 (message) 2,116 posts, Buzzing bee

I felt much much better about asking for help when I could invite over 2 or 3 people at the same time and make it a great bonding experience with everyone. Providing dinner and drinks made me feel less guilty, and everyone wanted to help so much I felt almost more guilty by not giving them the opportunity to do so.

2/10/10 @ 2:59 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

I usually just end up asking the Mr. I haven’t really had to ask for help yet, but I have been taking care of some of the smaller details way way ahead of time so I don’t fret once we are closer to the wedding.

2/10/10 @ 4:13 pm (reply)

15.

Member

Professor (message) 422 posts, Helper bee

I could use Little Miss Helpful. I experimented a bit in the beginning with asking my mom, FMIL, FSIL, SIL, and BMs to do small tasks for the wedding planning. Each one, to a woman, “forgot” or got busy. I have been reluctant to ask for more help if I am not there to oversee. Asking for help in the first place took a lot for me, as a control freak, and I was so disappointed that none of it worked out.

2/10/10 @ 4:55 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Miss Spaniel (message) 6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

I have so much trouble asking for help! But no trouble at all accepting when offered.

2/10/10 @ 6:39 pm (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Hot Wings (message) 2,213 posts, Buzzing bee

I know what you mean. I’ve been a control freak like that and can’t seem to let go sometimes.

2/10/10 @ 7:00 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

Yes. I think it’s because I’m a control freak.

2/11/10 @ 12:05 am (reply)

19.

Member

Miss Designer (message) 157 posts, Blushing bee

Total with you on this….and I think it is starting to stress my BP out. They are so excited that FH is getting married that they all want to help with everything. BUT I am a total control freak and need to do everything myself to make sure it is the way I want it and not someone elses take on the way I want it!

2/11/10 @ 8:17 am (reply)

20.

Member

Miss Chicken Wing (message) 1,225 posts, Bumble bee

I do have trouble - mainly because of two reasons. 1) Like you, I feel bad having someone else do something I can do myself. 2) I am a control freak. I know that. I have accepted that about myself. That makes it hard to ask for help.

2/15/10 @ 12:32 pm (reply)

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