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I’ve shared with the hive that Mr. Pencils’ father passed away when Mr. P was just 14 years old. He is incredibly grateful for the time, albeit short, that he had with his dad. When we sat down to plan our ceremony with his Uncle J, our officiant, we knew we wanted to find a way to remember and honor his father.
I went on the hunt for the perfect way for Mr. Pencils to acknowledge his father in a way that he would find meaningful and appropriate. There are a lot of beautiful ways to remember a loved one, and some really jumped out at me.
The first idea is traditional and heartfelt: lighting a memorial candle and observing a moment of silence.
From Etsy seller DomesticpasFancy found here
Mr. P could also choose to have a simple table in his father’s honor, as this bride did, captured in this beautiful photograph by SS Photography:
It brings me to tears when I think of this way that other brides have honored loved ones - with photo charms on their bouquets. A standout image of one such example was captured by great photogs at Studio Mathewes:
This last option feels classic, simple, and special. We could save a seat in honor of his father, and place a flower there to symbolize his presence. I could even give Mr. Pencils a flower from my bouquet to place in the chair.
How are you honoring loved ones who have passed at your wedding?
I love all of these ideas… especially the picture frame and bouquet charm
My father passed away when I was 16. I was thinking of placing a rose on a chair for him, but my mom thought that it was too sad. I don’t want people to be sad on my wedding day, but I do want to do something to honor my dad who I miss so much. Instead of having a display or a memorial, I will be wrapping a locket that my father gave my mother around my bouquet. It has a picture of my mom and dad in it. I thought that would be a good way to privately remember him. I will probably have a picture of him and my mom on their wedding day as well.
My dad passed when I was 11, and this has been the toughest thing for me as I am planning my June wedding. I thought about the flower on the chair thing, but I too think it would be too sad. Right now I am thinking about making my boquet all orange roses in his memory (he had red hair) and putting a message in the program about the symbolism of it. I’d love to hear what other people are doing.
I really like the framed photo, and the candle - the flower on a chair would probably make me cry! I think the locket on the bouquet would be beautiful too, but doesn’t Mr. Pencils want to be the one to carry the reminder of his dad? Maybe a pocketwatch locket thingy? I think it’s great you’re going to find a way to honor his dad.
Your ideas are wonderful! Any one of them will be perfect!
The day of our wedding will fall about ten days before the second anniversary of my father’s death. His loss completely blindsided me and tore me apart. To this day I still feel a HUGE hole in my heart and amazing sense of loss without him here.
With that being said, I’m really struggling with how best to honor him…as I truly believe nothing will ever do his memory justice. He was a simple man with the gentlest soul I have ever know…so I know he would be embarresed if he people were making a big deal of him at the wedding. He was a minister and if he were alive today he would be performing the ceremony…instead my godfather (and his very best friend and also a minister) will be performing the ceremony.
There are two things I know I want to do:
1. Place a rose on a table up where we will be saying our vows. At both memorial services for my father we placed a single rose at the pulpit to symbolize my father as that’s where he spent so much of his life
2. I will carry a small photo of my father attached to my bouquet, as well as a medallion of St. Francis that he wore every day of his life and an onyx ring he had since childhood.
I don’t know if in my heart that is enough to honor him. He raised me by himself since I was 2 years old…so like I said… I truly believe nothing will truly do him justice.
@Mrs. Espresso: me too! there is something about his picture being present on the day that speaks to us!
@MissChirpie: what a beautiful way to remember him- I agree the chair idea could be very sad…
@casey: I’m so sorry that wedding planning has been hard- I think your bouquet idea will be so sweet and meaningful, in a subtle way!
@Miss Guinea Pig: I thought the exact same thing- the pocketwatch idea is a great one! thanks!
@sarahd07: oh, that’s so hard to know he would be marrying you. I love the idea of the rose up at the altar with you- so sweet. I agree- none of these ideas do either man- Mr. P’s dad or your dad- the justice and remembrance they warrant!
the rosary on the bouquet is beautiful - thank you for the inspiration! my father passed away when i was 8 years old, and my brother, sister and i share the rosary my mother prayed with at this bedside that i could use. i’d also like to have my sister/MOH light a candle in his honor right before i walk down the aisle as a nod to his memory.
My father died when I was young, but it was always important in my family to keep his memory alive. Because of that I am doing a couple of things:
-I am having a special bouquet of daffodils (as that is what he gave my mom frequently) in a vase with his picture by it.
-I am making something to wrap around my bouquet that has not only a picture but a four leaf clover, etc. as well as something along the same lines for my sister who is my maid of honor
-I also want to incorporate something about his memory into our ceremony…but haven’t figured out what yet!
I lost my mom almost 5 years ago. Missing her through this process is difficult, and knowing she will not be there on my wedding day hurts like nothing else. FH and I have done a few things to honor her memory in out wedding
1. We have incorporated the color of the American Cancer Society bracelets we have worn since she was diagnosed (kiwi green - for hispanic cancer awareness). Our Tiffany blue and gray wedding will have slight touches of this color including my shoes, and a peridot bracelet I plan to wear instead of the normal plastic one.
2. I will be putting two of my favority pictures of her on scrable tiles I got from etsy and putting them on the bouquet
3. I will walk down to Andrea Bocelli’s the prayer one of my mom’s favorites.
4. We will probably do a rememberence candle
5. We will be giving out the green bracelets as favors, and making a donation to the American Cancer society.
Like many other’s nothing I do feels like enough, but also don’t want to make this about how hard my life is without her. It is a struggle to find the right balance between honoring a memory and making a memorial. Whatever you decide, I am sure it will be perfect. Good luck.
There have been 3 important people in my life who have passed away. My mom when I was young, my Dad and my grandmother most recently.
To honor my mom i’m having one yellow rose in my bouquet. That was her favorite flower.
To honor my dad I am walking down the aisle to a Beatles song and putting a picture of him in a small photo charm and attaching that to the back of my shoe- So I can still say my Dad walked me down the aisle.
To honor my grandmother who was like a mother to me, I am putting a small picture of her in a photo frame and attaching it to my bouquet.
I also am putting a short “in memory” paragraph in our program
I love all these ideas. My dad also passed when I was young and to honor him at our wedding we will have a bottle of Bushmill’s Whiskey at the Bar with a note saying to enjoy a drink with my dad. I know he would have loved that and if he were here that bottle would have been passed around instead of being kept up there.
My father passed away (almost) 7 years ago, and I have been thinking about ways to incorporate him in our day.
Just rememberiing him during the ceremony just isn’t good enough for me.
Thank you so much for your ideas!!
I saw this one postsecret once and thought the idea was so sweet. She put the charms on her shoes and so her dad was still walking her down the aisle.
When I googled it just now I saw someone else on wedding bee has a post about it:
These are all great ideas! My fiance lost both of his parents several years ago, and neither of us has any grandparents still living. I really like the saving chairs idea for his parents. It makes me tear up just thinking about it, but it feels right somehow.
I’m also planning on displaying wedding photos of our grandparents and parents somewhere - maybe the guest book table - as a way to honor them all.
the bouquet charm is very sweet. i also like the candles with the loved one’s name. that’s really nice for you two to honor him–he will definitely be there in spirit.
I lost my mom when I was 10, and my husband lost his mom at 21. While I would have loved to have photos, we decided it would be too emotional and a logistical challenge (We’re both criers, and we got married outside in a public park.) We included a statement in our program:
“We would like to remember our mothers, Jamie and Barbara, who we dearly wish could have been here for this day, as well as all the other friends and family who we have lost from our lives.”
I ran into problems with the flowers in the chair concept at my stepsister’s wedding. I was a reader, but no one had saved me a seat. When I went to sit near my stepmother and father, the only seats left were the ones with roses to remember grandparents. I ended up having to sit by myself in the 5th row, in tears for being forgotten. (It was a nightmare of a wedding for many reasons.) Where you place the chair becomes an important question. Does the chair isolate the surviving parent from the rest of the audience? Does it sit prominently along the aisle? These are things to consider. And make sure your readers know where to sit! They will thank you for it.
I lost my father at a young age and I was planning on including one of my favorite pictures of me and my father in a nice frame. However, I am not sure where to put it. Does anyone have any advice?
My fi lost his mom when he was 8 and I recently lost my aunt. We’re having a table displayed with a poem, a bouquet of flowers and a boutonniere. I also have rose petals from my aunts funeral and my niece is going to have them in her flower girl basket.
These are all sweet. Hopefully Mr. Pencils is able to find a way to honor his father that is satisfying for him.
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Mrs. Pencils, Washington DC/Frederick, MD Age and Occupation: 24, Program Director, Education Non Profit Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Administrative Assistant, Ocean Conservation Non Profit Engagement Date: July 26, 2008 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: Morningside Inn About Me: I'm a nerdy Northwestern girl who always knew she was meant to live in the East, harboring a deep love of ice cream, underwear, Diet Coke with a splash of Coca-Cola, pashminas, scrapbooking, stationery, wall calendars and books written for preteens. I think every day should include good thin crust pizza, chocolate, an obscure historical monument, lots of laughter, a dash of wedding planning and, of course, amazing Mr. Pencils! I'm loving the adventure of planning a Maryland wedding and Rocky Mountain reception, and most of all, I just love love!
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