Gotta Dollar Bill Ya’ll?

Gotta Dollar Bill Ya’ll?

February 19th, 2010 @ 3:57 pm by Mrs. Argyle
Share

So a few months ago this post caught my eye. I had already fought with the idea of the budget before and whether or not I should feel guilty that my wedding may cost above average or have an above average number of guests. When I stumbled upon Miss Duckling’s post, it made me feel better that there are other brides-to-be out there feeling the same way. Not that my wedding is going to be extravagant or expensive, but the truth of the matter is that my family saved for my wedding from the day I was born. I should not feel guilty that I have fantastic parents that thought well in advance about the fact that some day their gorgeous blue-eyed daughter (I’m allowed toot my own horn) would get married. Not only that, but I have been blessed to be planning my wedding with the wonderful Mr. Argyle whose parents have so graciously offered to pay for parts of the wedding, as well. We are completely humbled and grateful for our parents’ generosity.

I understand that with where the economy is now, many brides/grooms to be are having to cut corners, have a smaller wedding, etc. I definitely get it. Brides out there are becoming more and more budget-savvy, but that should not lead to judgments based on how much you or I or friends are spending on their weddings. You see, with each bride and groom comes a different set of situations and environments. It is important that we are sensitive to the fact that everyone will have a different wedding budget. Many brides and grooms foot the bill themselves, others have parents who pay, and some share the cost with their parents.

As the bride at Practical Wedding put it, your budget should fit you. It should not fit what society thinks it should. It really is based on a ton of personal factors, as she put it.

I guess my point is that you should not judge a bride and groom based on how fancy or expensive or cheap or budget-savvy their wedding is. Everyone is in a different situation and planned or are planning their weddings accordingly. AND, what may be important to me in a wedding (i.e. photography), may not be what is important to you (i.e. dress, flowers, etc.). People are going to volunteer their opinions to you about your wedding, including how much you spend. Let them, but remind them that when they get married (or if they already have), that they can/did do what they want. At the end of the day, your budget is about the two of you and your families. No one else. Do not feel intimidated by someone else’s budget. You can plan a beautiful wedding on any budget.

Have you felt guilty about your budget? How are you dealing with this current economic turmoil while trying to plan a wedding?

Tags: budget |

Share |

Latest Gallery Pics

Hot Pink and White with Zebra 36" Lighted Spandex Ostrich Feather Centerpiece

47 Responses to “Gotta Dollar Bill Ya’ll?”

1 2 3 Last

Member

Ms. Sapphire (message) 340 posts, Helper bee

Amen! Many of my friends have gotten married before me and all of their budgets have been at least double mine, some triple! A lot of friends and their parents tend to be pretty competitive with this kind of stuff so hopefully we won’t get any negative comments our way for not having 7 dinner choices or buying a $10,000 dress.

2/19/10 @ 4:00 pm (reply)

Member

Ella1978 (message) 2,027 posts, Buzzing bee

Our budget is pretty low - About 16,000 - not including our honeymoon or rehersal dinner.

I have a wonderful mother who is pretty much taking care of the food and drinks at the reception (it’s not at the place we wanted, that was a bit of a sacrifice) - her fiance is paying for some flowers and a scaled down cake. A super dad who is going to pitch in and great future in laws who are covering our honeymoon and our rehersal dinner.

The economy has hit us hard. My fiance got laid off, my mom got laid off after 35 years at her company, my dad got laid off, my hours have been cut at work… so while some stuff is taken care of.. a LOT isn’t.

We have def. worked hard to keep our budget low & have sacrificed on some things that we really wanted. But I tell myself every day that we will have a beautiful wedding regardless.

2/19/10 @ 4:05 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

@Ms. Sapphire, @Ella1978: I’m happy to hear that you two are making it what you want to be and not worry about what others think - that is so important.

2/19/10 @ 4:07 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Frozen Yogurt (message) 2,685 posts, Sugar bee

Sing it sister! Yeah, I definitely agree, and I wish that some people that commented about our budget could also read this.

2/19/10 @ 4:07 pm (reply)

Member

gill84 (message) 725 posts, Busy bee

I would definitely not judge anyone who wants to spend a lot of money on their wedding and who is financially able to for doing so.

I have the most trouble when it comes to judging myself, actually.

Unfortunately our parents are not in a position to help us out financially and we are both students, so we are constantly struggling with ‘do we want to spend this money on the wedding or save it for our future lives, house, travels, etc.?’

I think budgets are hard no matter what level you’re at, so thanks for reminding us that you shouldn’t let anyone else’s opinion bother you - because in the end, it’s your choice.

Can’t wait to see what gorgeous things you’re planning to do with yours

2/19/10 @ 4:11 pm (reply)

Member

moderndaisy (message) 6,607 posts, Bee Keeper

I know this can be an issue among brides, but the way I see it is the ‘best’ weddings are those where you can tell the bride and groom put a lot of heart and soul into it. We have a large budget too due to our families being well off and generous, but instead of hiring a coordinator to make it gorgeous, we are making all the decisions ourselves! I hope everyone likes it

2/19/10 @ 4:18 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

@gill84: I just think the budget is a personal matter - so I agree with you. It is not a competition.

@moderndaisy: I definitely agree with you. It definitely starts with the couple, first and foremost!

2/19/10 @ 4:20 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Hot Wings (message) 2,213 posts, Buzzing bee

Amen Sister! Our wedding guestlist makes people gasp… and of course that costs money, but our traditions and cultures are different and where we splurge and where we save are our own choices. Great post.

2/19/10 @ 4:25 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

AMEN!

2/19/10 @ 4:25 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Carebear0613 (message) 164 posts, Blushing bee

I love this post! Thanks for brining this topic up agian :)! I hate hearing comments from others who are trying to dictate the look of my wedding because they either want me to spend more or less on something. Its for that reason when a friend or a relative got/ is getting married that I try to support whatever decisions they made/ make.

2/19/10 @ 4:29 pm (reply)

11.

Member

thebriz (message) 448 posts, Helper bee

One shouldn’t judge nor should one flaunt.

2/19/10 @ 4:31 pm (reply)

12.

Member

marylizbeth (message) 180 posts, Blushing bee

Hmm. This is a tough one for me because if I am being totally honest I think is very hard to not judge a bride witha larger budget when you are planning your own wedding on a shoestring.my moh and I are planning at the same time and her in laws are footing the whole bill while we are doing it all on our own. Despite our parents hard work and plannnig the economy has other plans. I do not voice my gripes to her because I love her and am happy for her but if I am being honest and human there are times I come home and moan about how her dress budget is three times as large as mine. I know it sounds bad but I am being honest. I am thrilled about my wedding but i had the choice I would do things differently. I am not trying to be snarky at all just human

2/19/10 @ 4:34 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

@marylizbeth: I know what you mean. And, you didn’t come off snarky

2/19/10 @ 4:42 pm (reply)

14.

Member

LittlestBirds (message) 2,605 posts, Sugar bee

@Ms. Sapphire - You know, my mom and I like to tease my grandmother about how mortifyingly taboo it is for my grandmother’s generation to talk about money at all, ever, but hearing stuff like what you just related makes me wonder if it wouldn’t be better if none of us ever mentioned money these days too. I can’t imagine having so many couples getting married and everyone knowing what their budget was, and talking and comparing and judging. Can’t we all just pretend that we don’t know that money exists, and just love what we see and experience regardless? I know, I say that, but I still judge women you hear about who spend $50,000 on a dress alone or whatever. But hey, how could I judge if I had no idea how much it cost, you know?

2/19/10 @ 4:49 pm (reply)

15.

Member

princessleia (message) 143 posts, Blushing bee

It’s interesting you post this. It really makes me take a step back and think about how I have judged (somewhat subconsciously) friends who have had much larger budgets than mine. One I just went to had her parents pay for everything and let me tell you, no expense was spared. I mean, the food alone made us all gasp in amazement, not to mention the alcohol, decorations, venue, etc. I mean, that has got to be the best wedding I’ve been to. I know I shouldn’t compare but they have similar jobs to us and make comparable salaries and I have a hard time not judging them for having their parents pay for that kind of extravagance. Especially when we know there is no way they could have paid for it themselves. But you are right, I do not know their situation so I am in no place to pass that judgement.

My parents are in no position to contribute anything but love and support and have said they would feel awful if FI’s parents helped at all so me and FI are paying for everything ourselves. Even so, I am using some of the extra student loans I have right now to fund part of it.

FI grew in a family that is/was much better off financially than my family and has never really “worried” about money. I’ve been working to pay bills at my parents’ since high school. So he doesn’t see why we can’t just do what we want despite the costs. He wants it to have all the bells and whistles that his friends had and more so. I am perfectly ok with an afternoon bbq or pizza. But I feel like I can’t give him the wedding he wants (sounds a little reversed :p) so part of me is resentful towards my friend who just had her parents cover everything.

Thanks for helping me realize that I need to take a step back and reevaluate my judgments! It’s your day no matter how you pay for it and as long as it’s what you want to do, and it’s not directly affecting me, I really am in no position to tell you not to do it!

2/19/10 @ 4:56 pm (reply)

16.

Guest

krissy

thanks for letting us know ahead of time that your wedding will be very expensive and you’re privileged to come from a family who will pay for it. we all know that weddings can be beautiful and perfect on a shoestring budget, so there is no need for the “even though my wedding will cost 4x as much as yours i still think your wedding will be special…to you” speech.

2/19/10 @ 5:02 pm (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

@LittlestBirds: Very good points!

@princessleia: Glad I could help!

2/19/10 @ 5:25 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Mrs. Duckling (message) 1,415 posts, Bumble bee

I’m glad that you were able to relate to my experience. It’s tough feeling judged no matter what place you are in. It’s so important to come to a place that you can truly enjoy your wedding and be so excited about the future you will have in marriage and not worry what others think.

2/19/10 @ 5:32 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Miss Trail Mix (message) 6,312 posts, Bee Keeper

@krissy: I don’t know how on earth you got that out of Miss Argyle’s post but that comment was completely out of line and MISSED THE WHOLE POINT. Grow up.

And to Miss Argyle, great post!

2/19/10 @ 5:43 pm (reply)

20.

Member

sapphirebride (message) 1,747 posts, Bumble bee

I think one of the most frequent ways this comes up is people asking point blank questions about “when is your rehearsal dinner?” or “who is your ceremony musician?” Sometimes people have things because they don’t want to and sometimes they don’t have things because they can’t afford to. So while not judging, I also think it’s important not to assume.

2/19/10 @ 5:52 pm (reply)

1 2 3 Last