Weddingbee Blog

Again, I claim no expertise. Most of this information I’ve gathered throughout my lifetime while listening to my parents discuss other people’s wedding and in attending some myself.

The number of guests in attendance at these modern-day receptions is especially large, usually in the hundreds. Elaborate 7 to 10 course meals are served, often starting with cold platters then followed by hot dishes such as seasoned lobster, and other Vietnamese and Chinese banquet dishes, often ending with fried rice and a dessert. Dishes will be served family style. Most dishes include either seafood, chicken, or beef. Vegetarians are typically provided with a different dinner option.

It is customary to introduce all “elders” on both the bride’s and the groom’s family at the start of the wedding. They are often considered more important than the wedding party, who are more like assistants to the bride and groom.

At one point during the reception, the bride and groom will go from table-to-table to thank guests for their blessings and accept cards, gifts, and well wishes. Leaving a gift table and card box at the sign-in table for guests to drop in their envelopes and cards is frowned upon by more traditional Vietnamese elders. Therefore, we’ll be going table-to-table to ensure that everyone gets a little face time. Usually, each table selects a representative to give a quick congratulatory toast to the bride and groom. You can see me (above) in the green dress representing a table and wishing the newlyweds well. Guests typically give cash as gifts. I have heard Vietnamese people suggest that in the old days guests gifted the bride and groom with a wedding reception. This is why they give cash. The cash is then used to pay for the reception food/beer tab. In this fashion, couples typically break even and some even make a little money from their wedding.

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In modern weddings, brides usually change into three different gowns during the reception. Her dresses are usually composed of the white wedding gown, a second reception dress to be worn at the end of the evening during the dancing, and a third traditional Áo dài (notice the halo hat?) to be worn during the traditional table visits to personally thank the guests for coming.

Do any of these customs match up with some of your own?