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Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.
About Ms Potato Chips

PChipz Career Solutions

March 2nd, 2010 @ 5:17 pm by Ms Potato Chips

Job Title: Decision Engineer

Job Type: Part-Time/Temporary

Overview:

Potato Chipz Management seeks energetic go-getter to perform a broad range of tasks related to making wedding-related decisions and communicating results to lazy, slightly apathetic bride who doesn’t get why people keep asking her questions as if she knows the answers. Candidate will apply knowledge of wedding to-dos, tasks, and best practices to build and manage vendor and familial relationships through proactive communication.

Responsibilities:

Fielding and answering wedding-related questions and making decisions including but not limited to:

  • How should the groomsmen and bridesmaids be matched to walk down the aisle together?
  • Does this bridesmaid’s dress make my butt look big?
  • What are you serving at the rehearsal dinner?
  • Do you want the flower girl to carry a basket or a posy?
  • White outer envelopes or blue ones?
  • Calligrapher or home printer?
  • Do you like this ribbon or that ribbon for the favor boxes?


Job Location: Remote/Virtual

Compensation: Also remote and virtual

Qualifications:

  • Track record of success in decision-making
  • Ability to make several decisions at the same time
  • Ability to work independently (check-ins with bride not required; in fact, check-ins with bride largely discouraged)

Please attach resume and cover letter.

Tags: humor |
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30 Responses to “PChipz Career Solutions”

1 2 

1.
LatteLove
Hostess
LatteLove (message)  5,587 posts, Bee Keeper

I’ll take it!

If only to have a hilarious boss.

 
2.
Member Icon
Member
LAZB (message)  37 posts, Newbee

Wow, that is EXACTLY how I feel! I just want to say “I don’t care” sometimes. And actually I do, but for some reason people don’t believe me, so I am forced to make these decisions. It’s not that I don’t care about the wedding, I really do, but sometimes all of the little things are just too much! And really, there are so many things that I like, it’s hard for me to just pick one, so I really wish that someone would pick for me :)

 
3.
Miss Jellyfish
Bee
Miss Jellyfish (message)  1,423 posts, Bumble bee

Oh P.Chips, I heart you. Great post.

 
4.
Miss Hot Wings
Bee
Miss Hot Wings (message)  2,213 posts, Buzzing bee

You’re awesome!

 
5.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Lace (message)  702 posts, Busy bee

I’ll be yours if you be mine!

 
6.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pudding (message)  1,180 posts, Bumble bee

Hehe. Can I hire one too?

 
7.
Miss Cardigan
Bee
Miss Cardigan (message)  8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

You crack me up.

 
8.
Miss Pretzel
Bee
Miss Pretzel (message)  1,893 posts, Buzzing bee

P-Chips you make me smile- Can I have your applications that don’t make the final cut?

 
9.
bohemianbailie
Member
bohemianbailie (message)  980 posts, Busy bee

I find my sitting next to me staring at hockey on tv and nodding at intervals.

 
10.
traceylynne
Member
traceylynne (message)  54 posts, Worker bee

You are in my head and know exactly what I’m thinking!!!

 
11.
tea
Member
tea (message)  7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

hahaha, sounds like it would be fun!

 
12.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Swan (message)  1,046 posts, Bumble bee

I would gladly apply. If you need someone to be the drill sergeant, I would gladly accept the position. I think I may need some compensation though ;)

 
13.
alvina
Member
alvina (message)  807 posts, Busy bee

So that’s the tecinical name! Decision engineer! Man! I should put that on my resume :-P

 
14.
MichelleMyBell
Member
MichelleMyBell (message)  312 posts, Helper bee

lol. Love it. Especially the “compensation”. Thanks for the laugh :D

 
15.
Newfie
Member
Newfie (message)  128 posts, Blushing bee

Absolutely hilarious!! Great post!

 
16.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Frozen Yogurt (message)  2,685 posts, Sugar bee

Ha, can you please send me the ones you don’t want? I really need this too!

 
17.
Miss Britt
Member
Miss Britt (message)  915 posts, Busy bee

It’s things like this that make you my favorite Bee, Pchipz.

 
18.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Parfait (message)  1,755 posts, Buzzing bee

Lol, I love your posts, Chips~

 
19.
sefditz
Member
sefditz (message)  177 posts, Blushing bee

LOL! If only we could all hire someone for all of this!

 
20.
beth1125
Member
beth1125 (message)  328 posts, Helper bee

hahaha story of my life. I wish I could count the amount of cell phone pictures I’ve texted to my bridesmaids…this ribbon or that?
love the compensation!

 
1 2 

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Ms Potato Chips
Ms Potato Chips

Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.

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