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You read that right. No bachelor party for Mr. Fro Yo. Now, before you think I’m some psycho bride that isn’t allowing him this right of passage, hear me out. It’s not because of me. In fact, I’ve encouraged him to put something together with his friends and even offered to leave for the weekend so they could all get together at our house. I’ve also suggested that he go to Dallas and meet up with his friends. I even reminded him that bachelor parties don’t have to be full of debauchery, they can simply be a time for some male bonding.
I suggested baseball games, golf, and video games. It doesn’t matter.
He still wasn’t convinced. I should be glad that I don’t have to worry about strip clubs and tassels, but actually I’m just sad for him. I don’t want him to look back on this time right before our wedding and wish that he’d done something differently, like set aside some male bonding time. The bachelor party is not really something you plan on your own, and his friends aren’t really the planning type. So, my fear is that he wants to do something, but just doesn’t want to ask.
But maybe it’s me that needs to reframe my thinking because even though I’ve asked him about it countless times, he’s never sounded sad about not having one. In fact, he’s told me it’s his choice. He does not enjoy being the center of attention even when among friends, so I shouldn’t be surprised about this. But, I still am. Maybe it’s because I cannot wait for my bachelorette party, so it’s hard for me to imagine being happy about not having one.
Does anyone else have a groom that wants to forgo the bachelor traditions? Are you just letting it go? Or are you trying to encourage him to do something with his friends?
My FI doesn’t want one, but I am insisting on doing at least a joint thing. I think it would be fun to get all our friends together for a night out on the town. All of us are mutual friends anyways, so i guess it makes sense…
Like you said, at least I dont have to worry about strippers and alcohol poisoning lol
I took it upon myself and emailed my FI best man, I gave him contact info for the other groomsman and just made a mention that FI really wanted to go to a ball game with all his buddies. His bestman is the best.. he’s already asked FI how many buddies will be attending and is planning something.
I know Fi would never ask his GM to plan something and might have never told me if he was dissappointed if nothing happened for his bachelor party. His Best man is super though, so I know he’ll make it a memorable time.
I wish… only because I suspect there will be debauchery. Actually, his BM is his brother who’s currently serving and will be in town probably just a few days before. We don’t have a big bridal party and none of his other friends, who will be attending the party, have yet to step-up to set anything up, though there is still two and a half months left.
As long as you told him to have fun and he chose not to, then I don’t think he’ll regret. Had you forbidden it then years later he might have been resentful.
Our best man is hosting a LAN party for my FI - otherwise there would be no bachelor party. He refused countless numbers of times, and I finally convinced him. We’re thinking it may even be a joint thing, since the best man is one of my closest friends, and I don’t have any bridesmaids. (MoH is going to be in Japan.)
My husband didn’t want one at all. I tried and tried to convince him to have one. I thought he would regret it later. But he still didn’t have one and he doesn’t seem to regret it. He just doesn’t care for them. I think he was upset when he had to drop $200 on a friend’s bachelor party. He didn’t like that and he didn’t want to do anything like that to his friends.
Him and his gm went out to breakfast the morning of the wedding. I guess that served as their bonding time.
My husband didn’t have a bachelor party, and I didn’t have a b’ette party, either. I don’t regret it, and I don’t think either of us ever will. It just really wasn’t our thing. We both hung out with our wedding party and had some events the days leading up to our wedding, but it wasn’t anything official.
My vote would be to just let it go 
FI’s pretty much the same way. But luckily he’s got two older brothers who are planning a kick ass weekend for him. Tell him not to think about it as a “bachelor” party. Just to get together with guy friends and have some fun!
Maybe you could bring it up with one or some of his groomsmen somehow. And then they could ask him. If he still says no, then leave it alone. You just say to them, ’so any fun plans I should be afraid of for Mr. Fro Yo’s bach party?” That way it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to tell them to do something.
Honestly, my fiance’s bachelor party has been a giant, giant thorn in our engagement. Be glad that your guy clearly doesn’t see being married as something that will hold him back in the future and that therefore, he doesn’t need to get out his ya-yas or blow off steam with a bunch of other women. That’s great!
Maybe you can encourage him to go out with his buddies on the weekends or something? Even to the sports bar for a game. Maybe it’s the word “party” that’s scaring him off.
Wow! I’d be really surprised if Mr. S told me he didn’t want a b-party. But given what I know of him, he’d never turn down being the center of attention, so I’d know he was lying if he said he didn’t want one. 
I’m totally encouraging him to have a bachelor party! His friends are awesome, and he should have all of the rights and benefits of having fun before getting married too! It will be interesting to see what they do, as one of his groom squad members is a girl.
My fiance insists that he doesn’t want one either. I’m hoping that we can at least have a joint night out, his friends and mine, at a dive bar or something.
@Totally Envious: I’m sorry. I really do feel lucky that he doesn’t want to go buckwild. I think it’s the party thing that’s scaring him. If I just said hang out with your friends for a weekend that might go over a lot better.
My fiance’s friends always do a “scavenger hunt” at a group of bars. They have a list of things to do, and take photos of. Well my man is breaking the mold. Trying to get the guys to go away for the weekend. Not too many crazy ones in his group, so I’m assuming it will just be ridiculous amounts of drinking.. as long as there is no driving, I’m okay with that.
nah, mr. pug isn’t into one, and i actually haven’t given it a second thought. ha!
He didn’t want one either, He doesn’t like being the center of attention. His GM on the other hand had other ideas…I think they’ve compromised and decided to go to the gun range for a few hours. I think a LAN party would be awesome though, I know his gm would love that. I might suggest that aswell.
Mr. Sew doesn’t want one either. but i’m hoping his brother and cousins might surprise him with a little something at least. i kind of feel like he’s missing out on a rite-of-passage or something…and like you said, i don’t want him to regret not having one later on. great post!
Why don’t you plan some sort of surprise guy event for him? There’s no way he won’t enjoy spending time with his guy friends, and this way if he really does want something, he won’t miss out. You just coordinate and then disappear so it’s an all guy thing.
i don’t see my guy having one. he’s so low-key. he’d be much happier just hanging out at home.
My FI just wants to going camping with buddies instead of a typical party and I told him whatever he wants is fine.
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Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, Dallas Age and Occupation: 28, Special Projects Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity Trader Engagement Date: March 19, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2010 Venue: Marie Gabrielle, Dallas About Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
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