But What About Mr. Argyle?

But What About Mr. Argyle?

March 10th, 2010 @ 12:06 pm by Mrs. Argyle
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A while back, early in our planning, I read this post by the Unbride’s husband and his demands for the wedding. He titled the post “Ungroom or Groomzilla? You Decide.” So, I read through it, expecting to hear some crazy demands, but in reality, all of his requests not out of the ordinary.

The post got me thinking about my own wedding and involving the groom. I’m definitely no bridezilla and I want Mr. Argyle to be 100% involved as much as he wants to be. Of course, he doesn’t care about some of the finer details, but I made it very clear to him that I want his honest opinion about things, which he does.

As for any demands – well, he doesn’t have any. He is completely okay with me making most of the decisions (but I want his feedback, of course). His response was that he has full faith in the ideas I come up with (aww, how sweet!). But, I still make it a point to ask him about the bigger details and his opinions. He definitely dishes the feedback. If it isn’t positive, we find a solution to make it work or find a new idea.

Just in case you don’t believe me, here are some examples:

He loves the stationery/invitation suite/paper goods I have designed for the wedding. It took a lot of tweaking, but we are both extremely happy with the design and its simplicity.
My initial ideas for the reception decor did not sit well with him, so I scoured the web until I found some fantastic centerpiece inspiration photos. A couple of weeks ago, we came to an agreement on our reception decor, which we love (especially since we came up with some awesome concepts without using florals).

And, I absolutely love that he is willing to be very honest about the ideas I come up with. He’s not afraid to tell me if he doesn’t like something.

I know there are plenty of grooms out there who couldn’t care less, but I still think it is important to involve them as much as possible, even if it means assigning them tasks like looking for the DJ/Band, booking the honeymoon, etc. There are plenty of ways to get them involved in some way, and since the wedding is about both of you, I really believe it’s important to involve him as much as you can without putting him on wedding overload.

Do you plan on involving your groom or are you taking full creative/planning control?

Tags: relationships, st louis |

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22 Responses to “But What About Mr. Argyle?”

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Member

mrspaetz (message) 3,805 posts, Honey bee

My husband was quite happy that I was taking care of stuff, but he was also very involved in the consultative process and actually helped make a lot of our DIY stuff closer to the wedding. We’re lucky that we share very similar tastes

3/10/10 @ 12:13 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Trail Mix (message) 6,312 posts, Bee Keeper

Mr Trail Mix only has opinions on things AFTER I’ve decided on what I like and done all the research…It’s so annoying!

3/10/10 @ 12:16 pm (reply)

Member

Ms. Library (message) 1,250 posts, Bumble bee

I have done a bunch of the planning, but I always ask for his opinions. When we disagree, we hash out what we really find important and think of something else. Sometimes it’s annoying when he shoots down ideas after I have worked hard on it, but it’s his wedding too.

3/10/10 @ 12:19 pm (reply)

Member

yummyducky66 (message) 196 posts, Blushing bee

I have asked Mr. Ducky to be as involved as he wants to be. I value his opinions and it’s not just MY wedding. Of course, on some things I have the power of veto

3/10/10 @ 12:20 pm (reply)

Member

alivoo01 (message) 2,622 posts, Sugar bee

My FI is all about me planning and just telling him when to show up for things (i.e. engagement pictures, meeting florists, etc.). He does offer his opinion when I ask, but I question his authenticity sometimes… haha!

3/10/10 @ 12:24 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Lace (message) 702 posts, Busy bee

I think we’re in the same boat. Mr. Lace is okay with me choosing and making decisions, but I want him to be involved and know what’s going on!

3/10/10 @ 12:34 pm (reply)

Member

farmersdaughter (message) 1,656 posts, Bumble bee

My fiance has opinions on the most random things. He doesn’t care about many details, but the other night he got all up in arms about the place settings I proposed we use at the reception! Sometimes he really surprises me with his opinions.

3/10/10 @ 12:35 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Spaghetti (message) 282 posts, Helper bee

I’m glad you wrote about this because I was thinking about this subject the other day. My FI lets me take the lead but he likes to be involved and give an opinion when needed. =)

3/10/10 @ 12:46 pm (reply)

Member

krissybee (message) 3,921 posts, Honey bee

haha, FI honestly doesn’t care about any of the details! (colors, venues, food, tuxes..anything) which i guess stinks, sort of, but i actually don’t mind and kind of prefer it. yes, its “our day” but i’ll handle the look of things and he can handle being there with me that day and enjoy it!

3/10/10 @ 12:54 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Ella1978 (message) 2,027 posts, Buzzing bee

It really depends on the day for me. My FI was very “go with the flow”, but when it came down to making final decisions, all of a sudden he has an opinion.. it can get a LITTLE frustrating.. He has decided that he really wants a square cake.. but we don’t have anything square anymore… what to do?!? He also likes the look of textured buttercream, rather than flat… he wanted to change the invites… but when asked initially, he didn’t really care… HA.

3/10/10 @ 1:03 pm (reply)

11.

Member

sapphirebride (message) 1,747 posts, Bumble bee

We’re pretty much on the same page. Some of our ideas are mine, some are his. I often do the initial legwork but he follows up. For example, I found a caterer I love, arranged a meeting, got a proposal and now he’s dealing with the negotiations. He thought of our initial colors, I ordered invitation samples, and we’re designing them together. It’s definitely more fun doing it together!

3/10/10 @ 1:13 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

My fiance is so good about sharing his opinions on various wedding decisions! He’ll always tell me if he doesn’t like something, and I always make an effort to make sure he likes the things I choose!

3/10/10 @ 1:51 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

@mrspaetz: That’s how we are, too!

@sapphirebride: That’s great he’s getting involved on the tasks maybe you weren’t keen on handling.

@amanda.lynn: That’s great - same for us!

3/10/10 @ 2:18 pm (reply)

14.

Member

laural (message) 529 posts, Busy bee

FI’s big thing lately is this obsession with a smashed potato bar and the decor for it. He got a Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head a long time ago and now he wants a potato bar with them in the center. He also really likes all of the construction projects so far like cutting our initials out of plywood with a saw. What can I say - he likes power tools.

3/10/10 @ 2:43 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Argyle (message) 2,516 posts, Sugar bee

@laural: I must say that the smashed potato bar sounds delicious. No joke.

3/10/10 @ 2:56 pm (reply)

16.

Member

jgoulart (message) 1,069 posts, Bumble bee

My groom has been included in every aspect of the wedding. I never make a decision without asking his opinion first. I think he is grateful that we are a team because it’s about US, not just ME. I’ve also incorporated small surprises for him throughout the day including our camo green favors…in his honor of course since our dominant color is pink! :o)

3/10/10 @ 3:15 pm (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Pug (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

he was very involved with the honeymoon planning, but not for the wedding. it would have been nice, but i don’t think either of us regret it. at least not yet.

3/10/10 @ 4:31 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Miss Starfish (message) 1,924 posts, Buzzing bee

Mr. Starfish likes having a say in some things, but others not so much. He didn’t care to go to the flower appointment and things like that, but for some things like our save the dates, he got excited and wanted to be involved.

3/10/10 @ 6:12 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Miss Hamster (message) 4,045 posts, Honey bee

Same as Miss TM; the Mister likes after-the-fact opinion giving, lol

3/10/10 @ 6:29 pm (reply)

20.

Member

LittlestBirds (message) 2,605 posts, Sugar bee

@Miss Argyle @laural Smashed potato bar is a MUST for us too. My mom said she wouldn’t attend the wedding without it.

I worry sometimes that I’m plowing ahead with all engines at full without stopping to include FI, but I think things have balanced fairly well. I ask him often if he wants to be included more, and he always says “You are doing a great job baby.” Meaning, “Please don’t give me any work to do.” I do keep running things by him though, because every once in a while he will have a strong opinion, and I very much want him to enjoy our wedding and feel like he is a part of every bit of it, of course! All of this is going to change drastically in a few weeks when my long unemployment finally ends, though; at that point the wedding workload is going to have to shift much closer to an even balance.

3/10/10 @ 8:13 pm (reply)

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