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I’ve already discussed how excited Mr. French Fries and I are about the spread of food at our reception. But what you might not know is we’re so excited that we’re jumping in with both feet to the reception — we’re not having a cocktail hour.
Mr. FF and I were talking about it, and we’re not really the biggest fans of the “wedding cocktail hour” concept. The cocktail hour at most of the weddings we have been to have been sort of mildly organized chaos. There’s some food, but most of the time it’s picked over and there’s nothing left before we can even grab a plate. People are milling around and talking, which is all fine and good, but it makes it hard to accomplish all of the tasks to be done: signing the guest book, figuring out where the escort card display is, figuring out if you’ve been put at a table with the rest of your friends. Oh, and then there’s the whole “okay, so is it open bar for the cocktail hour? Just beer wine and soda? Or… some other permutation that we haven’t even thought of yet?” Perhaps we’ve just had some confusing or otherwise unfavorable experiences, but we’ve decided to forgo this at our wedding.
So, what will we be doing instead?
Well, first off… we’re not assigning tables. I know very well that there’s a strong school of thought that our wedding will be chaotic without escort cards, but we’re going for a more relaxed dining experience and feel that escort cards and assigned tables are sort of counter-intuitive to all of that.
Second, we’ll be starting the reception at the time when our cocktail hour would have started. We’re having an open bar all evening so there’s no confusion about the drink situation (we will be providing everyone with telephone numbers to local cab companies and our venue has a strict policy on types of drinks — e.g., no shots — as well as on over-serving). Our food stations will be open for a two-hour window––plenty of time for our guests to grab as many plates as their little hearts desire. Menu cards will be at each seat so that everyone knows what’s going on for dinner — I know that it might be a little overwhelming, otherwise. Our dessert buffet will be opened an hour later than the dinner stations, and will be open an hour longer than when the dinner stations close.
I’m excited to, as Pink so eloquently put it, “get the party started” right away, so this is definitely the best option for us.
Are you having a traditional cocktail hour, or are you doing things a bit differently?
We’re not really doing an official cocktail hour, either. Ours is a backyard reception, so people will show up, sign the guestbook, greet each other, find their seats, hang out, and maybe even play a game of horseshoes. My husband and I will show up and make our grand entrance after everyone has arrived, then we’ll dive into dinner. Because our reception is fairly informal, it just didn’t feel necessary to do the whole official cocktail hour business.
I don’t know what’s the definition of a ‘traditional’ cocktail hour, but we also had an unconventional wedding, so cocktail hour = hors d’oeuvres + drinks before I walked into the French bistro and we exchanged our vows. Everyone then sat down and ate. Bon appetit!
We are having a cocktail hour, but it’s because our ceremony and reception are in the same space so people need to go to cocktail hour so the coordinator can set up the space for the reception. I agree about the weird confusion on drinks which we will be dealing with, but we’ll have to do signs. 
We’re not doing a cocktail hour either! What are you planning on doing about introducing the bridal party, first dance, cake cutting, etc. and still making sure you get to eat? I haven’t quite figured that out yet!
We were so excited about a cocktail hour that we went with a cocktail reception instead! Food stations with heavy hors d oeuvres. Tall boys, small rounds and large rounds for people to eat at, set their drink down to get their dance on.
We’re having one but we’re going to shorten it I think. I basically just want to serve pink lemonade cocktails immediately after the ceremony and then have the mill up to the reception area. Otherwise I lose an hour of DJ time I paid for 
This is interesting bc the cocktail hour is always by far my favorite part of a party! It sounds like your reception will be more of a cocktail feel anyways, so you’ll be all good!
I will say tho, I went to a wedding without assigned seating and it was really really stressful trying to get a seat with my friends and we ended up having to split up, which was kind of a bummer…Just a thought, sorry to be a downer about that!
We’re doing one because that is the only time we could take pictures really unless we did a first look. We have one venue for both ceremony and reception so there isn’t that travel time to use as a picture time. Are you doing all your pictures before the ceremony?
That is EXACTLY what we want to do! I can’t wait to see how you work out all the logistics.
yes, we are doing the cocktail hour…. it will be so we can take the rest of our pictures and so guest have somewhere to go in the lag time between the ceremony and reception.
i hope we will be able to spend some time at it too!
@Miss Lace: Good idea about signage!
@J: We’re not doing a formal “wedding party” entrance or a head table, so we’ll probably have everyone enter, find a seat, and then have the DJ introduce Mr. FF & me. Then, we’ll do our first dance / cake cutting right away and then open up the food stations. (Still figuring this out!)
@Goldilocks1107: That sounds awesome!
@Miss Trail Mix: I’ve considered people having to split up, but we’re hoping with people mingling around more and not sitting down so much (since there’s no formal dinner service) that it won’t be as big of a deal. Fingers crossed!
@CorgiTales: We’re using travel time as picture time, and there’s a bit of a gap between our ceremony & reception that we’ll use for photos. Mr. FF is adamant about not having a first look, so we had to build photo time into our day-of schedule.
@MissDoodles: Yay! I’ll have to let you know how it works out.
This is similar to what we are doing as well! We aren’t having a traditional “cocktail hour” but there will be open bar when guests arrive. However we’re going to have them get seated rather quickly so we can start the dinner buffet. Then while people are waiting for the buffet they can still get drinks and sign the guestbook, take pictures in the photobooth etc. I hope it works!
I was really opposed to the cocktail hour at first too–we’re doing an hors d’oeuvres buffet, so it seemed silly to have hors d’oeuvres for our hors d’oeuvres! But our ceremony and reception are in the same place and a “room flip” needs to occur and thus there’s no way to go straight to opening the buffet. Thus, we’ll open the bar and have the servers start passing some appetizers and it will last about 45 minutes. Yep, it’ll be a little chaotic, but I think it’s the best solution.
We’re foregoing the cocktail hour as well since we’ll be taking pictures with each guest as they arrive. We’re forming an assembly line to the reception area. Walk in, drop off presents and sign guestbook, walk a few feet - find escort card, walk a few feet - drop of well wishes/advice, walk a few feet - take picture with bride and groom, turn left and enter the reception area! I’m thinking about having a small snack stand so people have something to munch on, but alcohol will be available throughout the night.
We’re having a traditional Jewish wedding, so the cocktail hour will actually be before the ceremony, and we’ll go right from ceremony into reception - it seems like a lot of people are breaking tradition nowadays!
We’re doing a cocktail hour b/c I know a lot of our guests are going to show up late and I don’t want the on-timers to get bored. I love the idea of “getting the party started” though!
I’ve been to plenty of weddings without assigned tables, and it’s never been a huge deal!
Wow its interesting to hear these different feelings about cocktail hour. In the NY/NJ region cocktail hours are huge affairs. There are multiple stations, dozens of passed hor doerves, raw bars, maybe a mashed potato bar etc… It’s amazing and my favorite part of the wedding. Everything is so grande and delicious and over the top that I just go into sensory overload whenever I walk into cocktail hour. In fact, I have been to many, many weddings and never remember dinner, but always remember cocktail hour
I love your stations idea- we’re doing them as well!! Only thing is tables- I have to second Miss Trail Mix. The couple times I’ve been to weddings that didn’t have assigned tables I ended up sitting with a lot of people I didn’t know and it was pretty awkward…
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Mrs. French Fries, Milwaukee Age and Occupation: 27, Paralegal Fiance's Age and Occupation: 35, Investments Advisor Engagement Date: September 20, 2008 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Ceremony: Catholic Church, Reception: Hotel Ballroom About Me: I'm a Midwestern girl who longs to live in a warmer climate (my feet would be happy in flip flops any day!). I love travel, impromptu napping, grilled cheese sandwiches, my iPhone, singing with reckless abandon in my car, and Mr. French Fries.
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