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In preparation for the engagement party our friends had planned, we thought we should probably start a registry. We went to one of our favorite stores. We were so excited about walking around the store and registering for whatever we wanted. Then we got there and reality set in. We live at home with my mom and are planning on being here until the wedding nears, to save money for the wedding and a home. We realized that picking out registry items when you don’t have a home or apartment yet is pretty hard!
I am a visual person and I couldn’t pick anything up and visualize it in our future home because I have no idea what that home will look like. What if the kitchen is tiled a certain color and we can’t use plates we picked out? What if the bathroom has the same issue? I know the logical thing to do is buy basic colors, but that is no fun to me!
We thought this may be somewhat of a problem, but it was worse than we expected. When we get a home, we are going into it with pretty much nothing. We have always lived in apartments fully furnished and equipped with everything from the TV, microwave, utensils, dishes, measuring cups, you name it. So we don’t really have anything other than two beautiful bedroom sets given to us by Mr. Starfish’s parents (they moved last year and gave us two sets).
We set one criterion only: Items have to be practical and really needed.
That really didn’t work.
We ended up with 8 items. A pizza cutter, a dough scraper (real practical, huh?), 3 candle holders, pilsner glasses, a trivet, a napkin holder, a 2 tiered server and a pitcher (probably the most practical!).
They are all things we will use, but when you need a lot, they probably aren’t the most practical options. We need to focus more on dinnerware, utensils, pots and pans, tools (Mr. Starfish’s favorite idea!), etc.
I found a few tips over at Yum Sugar. (The above picture is from there, as well). Most of these I have heard before, but here are some of the top tips:
See the rest of the list here at Yum Sugar.
I like that they say it is OK to register for big ticket items. A lot of places we are looking at offer completion bonuses. So after the wedding we can buy items left at 10-15% off, depending on the store. We were thinking of registering for a couch and dining table and chairs at one of the stores, but we didn’t want to look greedy. It is mainly for the completion bonus afterwards, but after reading this, if a large (extremely large), group wanted to go in on a big ticket item, that would be awesome, too!
What were some of your experiences while registering? Did you enjoy your first time registering or did it leave you a little frustrated? Any other great tips for those of us that don’t have homes or apartments yet?
I was nervous too about putting a couch or a bed on our registry but we really (really really really!) need these things and so hopefully like you said, people will get together and pool for a big-ticket item!
We haven’t registered for any furniture yet, but we plan on doing the same thing. We don’t expect people to actually buy it for us, but that 10% off afterwards will be great!
We really had a hard time because Mr. Lace already has a furnished place that I’m moving into. We registered for things we wanted to get which happened to be a $200+ Le Creuset Dutch Oven and a $300 Kitchen Aid mixer. :\ There’s a lot of stuff that we DON’T need that would be much more affordable for our guests so we went back through to figure out what things we might need to replace.
I need to check out this YUM Sugar list! Thank you for the tip!
For us the big expensive items didn’t work out too well. No one bought them. Except for my mom, who bought us the kitchenaid mixer and some of our china settings. But no one else bought the china settings or the fancy silverware. No one bought us the Xbox (much to my husband’s dismay). People bought our casual dinnerware and casual silverware. And towels and sheets. Things like that were purchased more.
At my shower people tended to give me things that they thought were really cool and innovative and that didn’t exist when they got married 25 years ago. For instance - stainless bowls with rubber bottoms that prevent them from skidding, a cake stand that could be inverted and be used as a punch bowl, new kitchen gadgets that make cooking simpler, etc. I guess people bought items that they know would start a conversation at the shower. So maybe you can add some new gadgets to your registry or things that people have never seen before but that you still want?
Our first registery outing was a Macy’s Sip& can event. We sipped (snacked. A lot) but did zero scanning. It took THREE times before we finally scanned a single item. We had kind of the opposite problem from you. Because we’ve both been out on our own for so long, we have all the regular registry stuff, and not just hand-me-downs from college. Also, we’re in a Manhattan shoebox apartment for the next few years, so there’s no point in registering for all the cutesy once-a-year items that I have nowhere to store the other 364. I’d LOVE a doughnut tin or Christmas plates but our vaccuum already shares space with FI’s work suits. Every item on our list was painstakingly chosen and underwent hours of debate on it’s usefulness and merit. It was neither easy or enjoyable!
great tips! i imagine it can be hard to commit to some of the bigger items when you don’t have your own place yet, but i’m sure you guys will come up with something! for us, the registry took weeks, a little at the time, with constant revising. while some people say not to register too early, i was glad to have started 6 months in advance and not worry about it during the last few months of planning.
We were surprised that most people bought the big ticket items before the leftover “little” junk. It was obvious that in the last week before we got married, someone swooped in and bought all the little stuff… and for good reason: SHIPPING IS PRETTY EXPENSIVE EVEN FOR SMALL THINGS. So if they were planning on buying and shipping, buying a spatula for $8 with $5 shipping, tongs for $5 with $ 5 shipping, etc. was not worth it. We ended up either getting gift cards, or big ticket items, because most people were from out of town/state and no one wanted to spend $5-10 shipping on a $20 and under item.
(ETA the person that swooped in at the end and bought all the little stuff bought $100 worth, so they could get free shipping because that was the promotion at the time)
And remember - most of the stores have a return policy. So, if you get towels, and then get a place that they don’t match, you might be able to return/exchange.
And even if people are going in to buy a big-ticket item, if they see some on there, they might be more inclined to get you gift cards that you can use to get those items (I’m pretty sure if someone saw a couch they’d go “hmm, they must not have any furniture!”).
For what it’s worth, I use my dough scraper ALL. THE. TIME. But I bake a lot of bread.
You could always add the big ticket items to your registry at the very end right before you close it out so that you can still get the discounts and you won’t have to worry about people thinking you are greedy if they are things you know you are planning to buy yourself anyways. There are some big ticket items my fiance and I are registering for and a few others we figure we will wait to add because of the discounts.
The only things we really need are big ticket items and while it seems ideal that the people we’ve invited would pool the resources, I know them well enough to know they won’t. So we kept a list of the big ticket items we’d like and have it on our calendar to add a couple of days before the wedding, just for the 10% bonus. We threw a couple of more expensive items on for good measure, but I’m not going to hold my breath!
It would have been really nice to have been able to register before we moved in here. Both FI and I were on completely clean slates, having moved across the country (and him having lived for two years with a roommate who provided most everything). So when we moved in last June, it was unbelievable all the things we had to buy just to set up a basic household. Not even real registry type stuff, just every day crap racked up hundreds of dollars. Shower curtains, toilet brushes, hand towels, every single thing! On the other hand, now that we’re through all that, I am pretty glad we did have a basic household set up prior to registering, because that way we were free to pick all the things I’ve wanted for years but never been able to justify purchasing (mainly kitchen items that are only useful for one or two things, but that certain recipes are impossible without).
And yes we pointed our (theoretical, online) scanner at a couple of big ticket items too. I don’t honestly expect to get the home theater system, but now we’ve done the legwork of picking out which one we want so we can buy it ourselves later on.
We did not have a fun experience with registering and the biggest bummer was that we couldn’t even scan our own items. The salesguy walked around with us and scanned them for us. What fun is that?!!
I can’t wait to register and totally want to include big ticket items (helllllo Dyson vac!).
@amariem25: I never thought about that. I guess it would be more fun for guests to buy the fun inew gadgets.
@Miss Pug: I know this is crazy but we started a year and a half in advance. Granted only ten things were on the registry for the bulk of that time for the engagement party.
@Mrs. Penguin: That’s good to hear and I never thought about the shipping charges involved.
@Miss Spaghetti: That’s no fun. Maybe if you go again, they’ll let you update on your own.
@ColorCoated: We had a vaccum on our registry, but Starfish Mom got it for a Christmas gift. It’s funny, but I never thought I’d be so excited about a vacuum. It was one of my favorite gifts! 
We (I) actually had 2 very different experiences…at BBB we had a seriously fun time and found almost everything we wanted, but at JCP it was horrible and I can’t figure out why…partly because they didn’t have anything I wanted and partly because I was all alone and a little because instead of being able to drive 15 minutes to the close one I had to drive an extra hour to find one who’s registry was working. I ended up just switching over to Macy’s and I’m really MUCH happier there even though we only used the online.
A funny story not so much related to what was on our registry but of our experience at the store. Before getting to the store, future hubby mocked my sister and I about our price gun excitement. After he got the gun in his hand, he literally growled at me when I tried to get it back. =)
Even if you’re not sure of how you plan to decorate your house or apt, there are things you can add that will never clash like vases. Also as we walked through Macy’s we saw luggage, neither of us own any and it’s the perfect thing to stick on a registry.
For those of you bees that already have apartment items, we realized that even though we don’t need anything there always is the desire to update your home if you can. If we get cookware then we’ll donate my old stuff to my baby sis. Similarly any new towels or bed linens will lead to us donating our old ones to our vet and local animal shelters as they are always in need of linens to line cages.
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Mrs. Starfish, Boston/Newport Age and Occupation: 25, Operations Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Sales Engagement Date: October 8, 2008 Wedding Date: October 2010 Venue: The Atlantic Beach Club About Me: I'm a perfectionist who is a planner at heart. I don't do well with surprises. I love planning, crafting, Newport RI, family and friends, and most importantly, Mr. Starfish---all of which will be big components in our October wedding in our favorite little city by the sea.
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