Weddingbee Blog

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And it has nothing to do with Beyonce & Lady Gaga. I just liked this picture.

Anyhoo… I’m baaaaaack! And after a crazy moving weekend, followed by a week living among boxes and grinding coffee beans with our mortar/pestle because we still can’t find the damn coffee grinder, I’m finally ready to rejoin the blogosphere. Now, a whole week without the internet means I’ve had A LOT of time to think so you’ll have to bear with me. I promise I’ll even try and be coherent!

So…

I had this friend in high school who was super punk rock. She was in a band and she was an awesome artist and she was basically my idol for a minute there. Anyway, one day in typically divisive high school fashion I made a comment about “some rap song” and she totally surprised me by saying how she really liked that artist. Waaaaa?

If you’re scratching your head and wondering why the hell I’m telling you this little story, I’ll just get right to the point:

Sometimes I feel like the wedding blogosphere is high school all over again. And we’re divided into groups based on the music we listen to or the stores we shop at. It’s like a blog land battle for my soul.

And wedding zombies don’t eff around. I’ve been rolling this thought around in my head for a while now, trying to get a grasp on exactly how I feel about the competing content out there in blog land. Is there even any competition? Because really, it’s ALL pretty. It seems to me there are two camps, diametrically opposed, intent on hopelessly confusing, insulting and belittling EVERY single bride. No one gets left out here, folks. And I mean NO ONE. There’s the anti-wedding aesthetic camp where folks “talk about marriage”, pretend they don’t give a flying f*c# about the details, STILL make 200 bajillion napkins AND somehow end up with a blog-worthy wedding. And there’s the “we wanna talk about weddings in every glorious detail but not really ever touch on what happens post D Day” camp. Details. Details. Details. These peeps end up with blog-worthy weddings, too. I oftentimes feel stuck in the middle and am pretty sure that I don’t really fit into either camp.

Now, Becca over at A Los Angeles Love wrote a really compelling piece on exactly which photographs makes a blog-worthy wedding (and who/what’s being excluded) that I think is awesome and so true. Go read it. She hits the nail on the head in terms of blogland’s ideals of prettiness, but I don’t quite buy the notion that mainstream wedding blogs are the only perpetrator of wedding evils. And to be honest, there is still a lot of inspiration to be found in their too-perfect pages. Then again, there is a lot of inspiration to be found on all the indie blogs too, and while the beauty ideals may not be the same, I would argue that they absolutely still exist. They’re just different. And the DIY bar is set pretty high across the blogosphere, no matter what the brides’ final verdict on the importance of said details ends up being.

So I actually think all of us blog writers are in part responsible for perpetrating a few wedding evils, and worse, we buy into the whole us vs. them mentality a little too much in an effort to find our unique voice. I’m a gay girl who is just as comfy in Barney’s New York as I am in my garage (if I had one) fixing my own car. I’m already a precious and unique unicorn, so maybe it wouldn’t kill me to be a little nicer where other peeps’ weddings are concerned. Maybe I can be a little more comfy in my own skin and my own little corner of the blogosphere and just focus on what works for my wedding with out (too much) “boring” wedding bashing. And still be my bad-ass opinionated self. Maybe. I kinda wanna try, because there is already enough snarkiness in the universe. And I bet you other blog authors/brides-to-be/wedding planner extraordinaires are precious and unique unicorns, too.

So even if some other brides’ details seem boring, trite, stereotypical, or just plain weird to you, who really cares? See sometimes I feel like I’m little hesitant to throw a post up here at Weddingbee because some people might be offended by my exuberance on my subject matter. It’s like my blog roll is forming alliances and could go to battle at any time.

So in an effort to keep the peace, merge the camps, and lighten my snarkiness footprint on the planet, I vow to:

*Have all the glorious unique little details I want AND still be an intelligent thinking bride who cares more about my marriage more than our wedding day.

*Let myself appreciate that other people may have a VERY different idea of what constitutes a beautiful wedding than I do and let it go without feeling the need to throw out my opinion on what I think makes a “good” wedding.

*Do a reality check when I come across a “too homemadey” wedding in blog land and instantly compare it to an absolutely perfect photo shoot.

Have you made any plans to lessen your snarkiness footprint on planet earth, wedding related or not?