Juggling My Stress Balls

Juggling My Stress Balls

March 15th, 2010 @ 2:33 pm by Mrs. Spaniel
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I thought about writing this post as part of my recaps, but, truth? I don’t want to think about these “dark days” again after the wedding, so it’s now or never!

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When I first started blogging for the ’Bee, I got a few comments from engaged and married ladies trying to balance wedding planning with law school (or who had already done it), asking me how I was juggling them. The truth is, I am a very bad juggler, and one ball or the other is just about always getting dropped (I’ll give you one guess as to which one!).

Those of you who are in/have been through law school can attest to how stressful it can get right around the middle of the term and onward (and I’m sure most graduate students have a similar experience). Throw an imminent wedding into the mix, and I’m finding myself dissolving into tears over not being able to find my parking permit in the morning before my 1.5-hour commute to school (which became two hours because I hit more traffic after the lost time crying in the carport and trying to calm myself back down after I found it). I’ve got myself so worked up over inconsequentials that I actually need to add another thing to my to-do list: scheduling a massage to work out the debilitating knot I’ve developed in my left shoulder!

I am trying to delegate as much as possible—Mr. Spaniel has taken over handling the DJ fiasco (an update: we’ve found another DJ—thank goodness!—and have been promised a refund for the old one, which I am sorry to say I will believe when I see it) and scheduling transportation (etc.), but I can’t delegate studying for exams or packing for the honeymoon. I can’t delegate working out or remembering to feed myself (oh, and I totally understand now why so many brides accidentally lose weight before their weddings… I have NO TIME TO EAT!). I am thinking that it might have been smart to pick a date that wasn’t in the middle of the semester.

Anyone face more stress than they expected leading up to the wedding? How did you handle it? Would you have done anything differently in hindsight?

Tags: emotional, los-angeles |

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28 Responses to “Juggling My Stress Balls”

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Member

kayakgirl73 (message) 2,124 posts, Buzzing bee

BReathe! It almost all gets don’t and what doesn’t forget it. I know easier said than done. I sold my condo two weeks before the wedding. I moved the weekend before the wedding. I went to settlement the day I was leaving town for my hometown wedding. You can do it. Another single word for you is Delegate.

3/15/10 @ 2:38 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Hermit Crab (message) 3,530 posts, Sugar bee

I am right there with you! Virtual hug and lots of mental support!

3/15/10 @ 2:39 pm (reply)

Member

CorgiTales (message) 9,861 posts, Bee Keeper

I have no insight… just wanted to say that you are my hero! haha. I could not have planned a wedding during my third year of law school. You bit off a LOT there and it is going to be super uber impressive when its all said and done. Do you have a position lined up for post-bar? if so (i’m sorry to say), I would probably blow off school a bit and just make sure I made it through. No one asks for grades after your first job. I guess that isn’t really an option though if you’re still hunting… do you think you could put planning a wedding on your resume under special skills?

3/15/10 @ 2:39 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Trail Mix (message) 6,308 posts, Bee Keeper

Spaniel, you’re so close to the wedding, you’ll make it somehow!! Mad mad props for planning a wedding during law school, no way jose could I have handle that!

An PS- I’m sorry but any phrase using the word “Balls” makes me giggle. The phrase “stress balls” made me LOL!

3/15/10 @ 2:45 pm (reply)

Member

heathermarie18 (message) 71 posts, Worker bee

I feel your pain! I’m in my third year of law school as well, but I won’t be getting married until a month after the bar exam. Best of luck!

3/15/10 @ 2:47 pm (reply)

Member

labrat (message) 472 posts, Helper bee

I feel ya on the stress… I’m on the home stetch of my PhD and need to be a lot further than I think I am. When I’m working on either the wedding or the labwork, I feel like I’m behind on the other.

My current key to keeping productive is to do the labwork during the day and the wedding stuff at night. But I’m not nearly as busy as you are with law school.

3/15/10 @ 2:47 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Scissors (message) 7,343 posts, Bee Keeper

Bless you, dear. I’m not finishing law school right now, but I’m about to graduate, put on a big solo show, apply for a big scary job, and go nuts all at once, so I feel you. Lately I’ve had that “sinking and overwhelmed and can’t get up feeling,” and it needs to go away, stat. Oh yeah, plus a lot of added and unexpected family/wedding drama is being tacked on.

Ugh, sorry, floodgates.

Keep on keepin’ on, and I know you can do it!

3/15/10 @ 2:50 pm (reply)

Guest

Josalyn

I know just how you feel. I have 60 days til graduation and I haven’t even started my research paper yet. We are getting married 2 weeks after the bar so there is stress around me actually getting this planned pre-graduation. Luckily, I have a job lined up or else that would just add to my panic attacks.

Just think that by the end of this year we will be married and lawyers. All this stuff will be hopefully far behind us!

3/15/10 @ 2:54 pm (reply)

Member

LisaBee (message) 358 posts, Helper bee

oh Spaniel I hear you. I am a 3L - in the library right now actually, and should be doing work rather than reading WB, but cest la vie. I’m not getting married until Oct, which I did intentionally so I will be done with school and the bar before the wedding. Just realize that lots of people have things pulling them in directions away from law school - families, illnesses, jobs, etc. So at least what you are doing is a happy thing! And, a scary similarity - my left shoulder, I swear, has been in a knot since my 1L year. You will get through it and be the happiest finals-taker ever come May!! You will be a married lady!!

3/15/10 @ 2:56 pm (reply)

10.

Member

missmary (message) 16 posts, Newbee

I can kind of relate- I just took the bar exam three weeks ago! I started planning our wedding during the middle of my last semester of law school and let’s just say that my studying definitely took a backseat to wedding blogs! (thank god my grades don’t reflect just HOW badly I neglected studying for that first month of wedding planning… ugh)
And even though my partner and I promised “no wedding planning!” from Christmas til mid February while I studied for the bar, I was AMAZED by all the crap that came up that needed immediate attention! Thankfully I don’t think it negatively impacted my performance on the bar but there were many tears and many little meltdowns along the way.

Hang in there! You’re almost there and it will feel soooo good to be done with school and basking in wedding-ness!

3/15/10 @ 2:58 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Giraffe (message) 4,216 posts, Honey bee

HAng in there, Span!

3/15/10 @ 3:03 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

thereasonablegal

Hi Spaniel. I am an avid weddingbee reader but never post on here. I read this entry though and thought I should comment to let you know you aren’t alone. I am in my third year of law school as well and planning my wedding for June. Yep, right smack dab in the middle of studying for the bar exam. It’s terrible and stressful and you definitely feel like a failure more often than not. But know that we all feel like that at some point and just managing to complete either law school or planning a wedding is an accomplishment, let alone both! I’m sure you are doing both fabulously, and having your posts to read has been a big encouragement to me. Good luck in the next couple of months and remember to take lots of deep breaths!

3/15/10 @ 3:21 pm (reply)

13.

Member

Kippie (message) 107 posts, Blushing bee

I am so sorry you are going through such a stressful time. I hope this doesn’t stop you from enjoying the wedding preparations from time to time.
I know it’s easy to say, but you should step back and take a break sometime! My perfect stress reliever is a spa treatment. Sometimes relaxing ‘feels like wasted time, and even worse time you don’t have. But I think relaxing from time to time will help you improve your results in all fiels, lawschool and weddingplanning alike.
Good luck!!

3/15/10 @ 3:24 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

Miss Bear

I have nothing but admiration for you Spaniel! I am also a 3L and I know how you must be feeling. Just know that the hive is pulling for you! You can do it!!

3/15/10 @ 3:52 pm (reply)

15.

Member

alivoo01 (message) 2,622 posts, Sugar bee

It’s almost over with Miss Spaniel - hang tough for a teensy little bit longer!!

3/15/10 @ 3:54 pm (reply)

16.

Member

katiebug (message) 267 posts, Helper bee

You can do it! I’m also a 3L and I know you must feel like you are drowning. Try to lean on those around you and keep all of it–school and the wedding in perspective.

3/15/10 @ 4:23 pm (reply)

17.

Bee

Miss Spaniel (message) 6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

@kayakgirl73: Definitely working on delegating as much as I can!

@CorgiTales: I wish I could say I knew what I was going to be when I grow up

@Miss Trail Mix: You should have seen my original title. I cleaned it up for you guys!

@Kippie: I definitely am enjoying the wedding preparations…it’s the rest of it that’s kicking my butt!

Thanks for all the supportive words, ladies! And to the rest of you in the same boat, good luck!

3/15/10 @ 4:52 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Mrs. Cloud (message) 802 posts, Busy bee

you are not alone! keep it up on the delegating, I was so bad at that, and it made everything worse. And keep visualizing walking down the aisle, that always helped me relax

3/15/10 @ 6:36 pm (reply)

19.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I am in a similar boat. 3L + wedding planning + early bar prep + Barbri and graduation looming in the near future. You’ve got this. You are in the home stretch and will be able to enjoy all your hardwork so soon!

3/15/10 @ 7:05 pm (reply)

20.