These Are My Confessions

These Are My Confessions

March 19th, 2010 @ 11:51 am by Mrs. Scissors
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This video doesn’t really have anything to do with this post, except sometimes I feel like the universe mocks me in such a fashion. You know, with the pointing, the “trololololol”-ing, and creepy ’70s atmosphere.
I was actually going to post a video that made sense – Confessions Pt. 1 by Usher. OK, so it really only makes sense in the fact that the song has “confessions” in it. I didn’t go floosie around on my love or anything. Work with me here, peeps. OK, I really need to move along to the actual confessions. I’m stalling.
I drank orange juice straight from the carton today.
Crap. Yes, I’m stalling. There is no way to go about this easily, so, ugh, here goes…

These Are My Confessions : wedding georgia wedding planner Untitle04 Untitle04

True story. Seriously. I’ve been engaged for over a year, am three months out from getting married, and I have no idea. I take the time to WRITE about weddings, for poop’s sake. The ceremony and reception – they both are a total mystery to me. Lawd, children, we’re screwed.

These Are My Confessions : wedding georgia wedding planner Untitle05 Untitle05

So, um, yeah, obviously that’s not how weddings go. During the ceremony, I know there’s walking, standing up at the front, saying vows, doing the ring thing which apparently is NOT part of the vows, music parts, crying parts, the occasional kneel, reading things, and then poof! Married! Then, everybody goes to the reception, where there’s like, uh, food and stuff? Set up? Then at some point, I don’t know when, there’s that whole first dance thing. Then some toasting? And some dancing? And cake smashing? Then everybody eats cake, and leaves. Truth be told, the only thing I’ve ever paid attention to at weddings is the “When are we going to be able to eat cake?” part. I never paid any mind to what happened when—cake was the grand reward. Way to go, me.

Obviously, I can’t keep avoiding the fact that I have no idea how weddings work. Much to my (not) delight, we do not have a DOC—there is no one to tell us what to do when. Well, that means that this monkey is on my back. I’ve tried to shake said monkey off by looking up timelines in one of my 4,000 wedding books or magazines, or on the internets, and it always ends up going one of two ways.

I glaze over. Ugh, this is so boring, when do we get to the cake part?
I have an anxiety attack. Oh Godohgodohgodohgodhoghdohgdohgodoghdohgod. Too much. Can’t do. How does one orchestrate this?! There is no way?! What bride gene am I missing?! The cake part goes where?! Damnit, where’s my Xanax…

Not productive, and this needs to stop. Methods for doing this, you ask? Errr…

Man up, get my head out of the sand, grab a timeline and go.
Outsource this job to a family member. They must be able to manage my micromanaging.
Hire a DOC.

I’m on team three, but I have no idea how to find a DOC ’round here, because nobody around here knows what one is. Awesome. And so, the whining continues…

How did you figure out how weddings worked? Did you pay attention to other weddings, read a book, or get some special bride gene? Any words of advice for how we should tackle this monstaaaaar?

Tags: georgia, wedding-planner |

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44 Responses to “These Are My Confessions”

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Member

Miss Chapstick (message) 2,098 posts, Buzzing bee

I’d definitely recommend a DOC I was a super organized bride (albeit, a little dumb when it came to weddings - our own was my first), and our DOC allowed me to really enjoy the actual day without thinking about the schedule and stuff.

Look of the classifieds! You might be able to find one in your area.

3/19/10 @ 11:55 am (reply)

Member

jgoulart (message) 1,069 posts, Bumble bee

I have done all my planning and micromanaging and cannot WAIT to just hand it all over to the DOC and say “here ya go. work your magic”. I was in three weddings before my own (MOH in one.) so I’m pretty much planning with my eyes shut.

Contact a wedding planner and see if they offer day-of services.

Good luck!

3/19/10 @ 12:02 pm (reply)

Member

farmersdaughter (message) 1,656 posts, Bumble bee

I feel you, scissors! You put my panic attacks into words perfectly. I’m having such a hard time envisioning the entire day and have no idea how things are supposed to flow. I’m from a small area where DOCs are unheard of. I’m currently sitting here with my head in the sand and just thankful to hear about another clueless bride. Bees, bring on the advice!

3/19/10 @ 12:04 pm (reply)

Member

alivoo01 (message) 2,622 posts, Sugar bee

Ditto to you and farmersdaughter! Following this thread very closely!

3/19/10 @ 12:07 pm (reply)

Guest

wannabee

Here’s our outline of the reception if it helps:
Introductions
Cake Cutting
First Dance
Toasts
Dinner
Father/Daughter and Mother/Son dance together
Cake served
SHAKE IT!

Hope this helps…

3/19/10 @ 12:11 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Ribbons (message) 2,018 posts, Buzzing bee

Yeah I don’t really understand the inner workings either. I just want to dress it up, I don’t want to deal with the logistics. Which seems pretty critical.
Oh DoC, I wish I could afford you!

3/19/10 @ 12:13 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Trail Mix (message) 6,312 posts, Bee Keeper

You can find a DOC, a lot of them will travel a few hours to work a wedding!! Ask your caterer for a recommendation, that’s how we found ours! I think it would be the way to go, especially since you’ll be having it at your house and you don’t want your parents or relatives to be running around setting everything up and stressing the day of the wedding!

3/19/10 @ 12:14 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Scissors (message) 7,343 posts, Bee Keeper

I want a DOC so dang badly, but the majority of people around here don’t know what one is. Everybody that I’ve talked to has been all, “Who wha?” Even the caterer thinks I’m nuts. It’s such a small area, that there’s no way to really… look this sort of thing up.

I need someone to head up our circus.

3/19/10 @ 12:27 pm (reply)

Member

Twista (message) 804 posts, Busy bee

A co-worker is going to be my DOC. She wants to be an event planner so she’s practicing on me. Pretty much what I’m doing, I’m telling her how I want everything to go and she’s going to make sure everyone is where I need them to be, when I need them to be there.

3/19/10 @ 12:35 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Goldilocks1107 (message) 2,504 posts, Sugar bee

I’m just making it up as I go. I hired a DOC. We’re going to have us walk in - unmarried. Then the officiant tells us what to do - black box. Then we walk out - married.
I think the reception will be a little more challenging. Maybe I can just tell the DJ to tell me what to do. I mean, they go to tons of weddings and must have a better idea than me!

3/19/10 @ 12:37 pm (reply)

11.

Member

kayakgirl73 (message) 2,124 posts, Buzzing bee

The DJ or Band may be able to help you run the order of your reception. Do you have an Aunt, Cousin or Friend of your Mom’s that loves weddings and has been to a ton of them? They might be able to help.

3/19/10 @ 12:43 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss French Fries (message) 2,217 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m doing a combo of #1 and #2 — just fleshed out our “production schedule” this morning and um…not to freak you out, but it’s 6 pages long.

BUT! It’s drafted (not done completely) and I feel so. much. better. about who’s going to be where at what time and doing such and such.

I can send it to you, if you’d like, as an example. I based it on a template that Daffodil posted a loooong time ago.

3/19/10 @ 12:48 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss French Fries (message) 2,217 posts, Buzzing bee

Oops, I mean it’s 4 pages.

3/19/10 @ 12:49 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Lace (message) 702 posts, Busy bee

Okay, I totally understand how you feel. I have picked up and put away our reception and ceremony schedule 4 times in the past week and everytime, come away with 1 thing added on there. I have no CLUE what we’re going to do. All this planning…and so far, everyone will eat and sit there for 5 hours.

3/19/10 @ 12:50 pm (reply)

15.

Member

Rocktsrgn (message) 494 posts, Helper bee

@Scissors - I’ve got an awesome DOC in Atlanta - Circle of Love Weddings. Daria is pretty great so far, and I’m willing to bet that she would travel. If nothing else, a consult is FREE!

3/19/10 @ 12:54 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Mrs. Cherry Pie (message) 884 posts, Busy bee

AAAAAGGGHHH That video is creeeepy!

For our ceremony, I used a book called The Wedding Ceremony Planner to figure that sheeyot out. Then, we wrote our own ceremony and vows: http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/09/24/write-your-own-wedding-ceremony/

With regard to the schedule, we figured we wanted the ceremony to last not more than 1/2 hour, with an informal cocktail hour (w/snacks) for mingling/photos afterward, and then the food part. It was pretty easy to get people to comply, although they all seemed to want to do a receiving line when we hadn’t planned on it. Oh well!

3/19/10 @ 1:09 pm (reply)

17.

Member

SabrinaR424 (message) 266 posts, Helper bee

I don’t have a DOC either, mainly for cost reasons. I’ve asked the Best Man (or in my case, the Best Maid) to keep track of time and sort of make mini announcements as we get to each new event (we also don’t have a DJ). She’s familiar with event planning (from college film committee) and has agreed to take on the role. As for the set-up before hand, my family and I will all be at the venue taking care of things that morning, and my family will finish up while I’m getting ready. I didn’t worry about what people usually do for the order of events. I just made up an order that made sense to me and I’m running with it. Good luck!

3/19/10 @ 1:21 pm (reply)

18.

Member

mander411 (message) 735 posts, Busy bee

I’ll come and do it LOl jk. Maybe there is another bride out there or recent bride who could come and stand in as one to do some things. Something is better then nothing!! Like a sorta DOC Swap

3/19/10 @ 2:03 pm (reply)

19.

Member

pren79 (message) 664 posts, Busy bee

I would ask wedding/event planners in your area if they offer “day of” service. You can also consult your photographer assuming that he/she has gotten so many weddings under their belt they know what works and what not (at least for the sake of photography). You can also talk to your officiant. I was told that no two weddings are alike (in terms of events/timeline) so after getting an idea of what works and what doesn’t, you can just come up your own timeline. In the big picture, as long as there are food and booze and wrap it all up, it will be ALL good.

3/19/10 @ 2:09 pm (reply)

20.

Bee

Miss Sewing (message) 2,701 posts, Sugar bee

lol, love your black boxes. i haven’t figured this all out either..we’re doc-less and it gives me anxiety. i think we’ll be going with a hybrid of your #1 and #2 options..

3/19/10 @ 2:13 pm (reply)

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