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They (and by “they,” I mostly mean my fiancé) told me it would happen. I’d plan, plan, plan, obsess over details, then obsess over more details once the first details were attended to. And I would plan on repeating this process for a year.
Then, miraculously, I’d stop thinking about it, given the 5 months we have left until Go Time.
Diving wholeheartedly into non-wedding life (including the freelance jobs I’ve taken for some extra cash-moneys) turns out to be a lot more satisfying than obsessing over the napkins.
I often find myself thinking more about being married than about being a “bride”. And it’s a nice transition of thought, helped largely by winning examples of married friends. Once I stopped thinking about the registry, the food, the wine, and the new signature I need to perfect, thinking about being this guy’s wife really makes my day.
I even feel like a real member of the Mr. Taco family. My brother- and sister-in-law already think of me with the new-and-improved familial distinction. I stopped referring to our nephews as his nephews. I relish the title of aunt. Though “aunt” to a handful of friends’ little ones, it’s different to hear it from little people related to my almost-husband.
This way, I can focus on the complicated task of figuring out what to do with my name, exactly. Maiden name as middle name? Maiden name and married name as one last name? Just sticking with Mr. and Mrs. Taco and calling it a day? Suggestions welcome, and feel free to share your own stories of name-changing fun in the comments.
this is so true. suddenly after months of planning and obsessing, it has come to a true halt! everything is pretty much done, and i finally feel “at peace” with where we are with everything, and can take a few months off!
Aw, it’s sweet that marrying him will make your day 
The last name dilemma is definitely a problem, especially nowadays. Many of my college professors are feminists who either never married or kept their last name, or hyphenated. I consider myself a feminist, but I don’t always like the idea of messing with names. Sometimes I think keeping his last name would be less confusing, especially if you have children. People might wonder if you’re the stepmom or something. And what name do the kids take if the mother hyphenates or keeps her own name? But on the other hand, I don’t like the idea of just wiping away my name forever and taking his name.
If you have a short and sweet last name, you could easily hyphenate.
If you really love your name, you should keep it.
Another idea I’ve heard is changing your middle name to your current maiden name and then adding his last name. So it would go, First name, maiden name, Fi’s last name. This is handy if you have an embarrassing middle name
Maybe try signing different combinations and go with your gut?
P.S. I see that you’re a writer. That’s part of why I want to keep my publishing name as my maiden name, since I started writing well before I started dating him. The writing thing is reason enough to keep your name
I’ve transitioned to thinking more about life after the wedding than the actual wedding, too. It’s a great feeling!
The last name thing is hard. I have been raised to be a strong, independent person and I do identify with my maiden name, but I also want to show my love and support for my new family. Here’s what I’ve decided to do:
I will have two last names…no hyphen. In other words, I will be First Middle MaidenLast MarriedLast. All of my students (I am a teacher) will call me Ms. MarriedLast and our children will just be Kid MarriedLast, but that way I get to keep a bit of my family too.
Not sure if that helped you at all!
Maybe I’ll feel at peace once the invites are out, the BM dresses are chosen & ordered, & the dates for the shower & bach-party are finalized. Just that much behind you…
Name change has been a bit of a dilemma: I considered hyphenating & discussed w/ FI the idea of our kids hyphenating so the can have both our names. FI listened, researched, & sent me articles about the difficulties & confusion connected w/ hyphenated names & that kids tend to drop one anyway, which defeats the purpose. So I think we’re close to settling on this compromise, a variation on @LittleAudrey’s last suggestion: we’re both changing our middle names to my maiden & I’m taking his…and all our children will have my maiden as a middle name. Then we’ll all have both last names without the hyphenating issues.
It sounds like you are in a really good place. I’ve really been changing my mind about this whole name thing, now less than 3 months out, I now know I am going to take his last name, but keep my last name as a “2nd middle name”. (like Jennifer Love Hewitt)
I still kept my own name and use his last name only in social, informal settings.
I think I’m going to do the second-middle name route. First Maiden HisLast. I know people might end up dropping my maiden name (even though it’ll technically be part of my last name), but I’ll at least write it that way myself!
@LittleAudrey: @UCLAMeghan: I actually have a two-syllable maiden name that always screws people up. I always said I couldn’t wait to be unsaddled by it, but it’s become such a part of who I am, I’m not so eager to bail on it these days. His name is very short and common and simple, but I do like having an ode to my new fam, so I think I’d definitely like to have both.
Yes, I loved that time period of “in between” - the “Now what??” of wedding planning! I wish I was back there now! 
I’m dropping my middle name and moving my maiden to my middle. Sad about losing my middle, but I feel like I should keep my maiden in there.
that’s the part i’m most excited for. after all the fun of the day, that night we’ll be husband and wife for the rest of our lives. THAT is what gives me those lovely chills
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Mrs. Taco, San Francisco Age and Occupation: 29, writer/editor Fiance's Age and Occupation: 37, editor Engagement Date: May 13, 2009 Wedding Date: August 2010 Venue: The Green Room at the War Memorial Veterans Building About Me: I like laughing and talking with good friends over good food and good drink, be it wine, cocktail, or brew. I write and edit things for fun and profit, but I rarely "write" these days without a keyboard and high-speed internets. Favorites include Mr. Taco, my Boston terrier, San Francisco, getting out of town, and the Roaring ’20s. I was kind-of planning a wedding since roughly 2006, when I discovered "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the WE channel. I ran and didn't look back with a theme I called "urban vintage," and it culminated in the most magical day a taco could ask for.
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