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I know that I get stressed too easily. But, sometimes, it’s embarrassing how much I think and worry about wedding related stuff. My current worry?
RSVPs. We sent out a really early first round because our venue/caterer is on the pricey side so we need to stick as closely to 225 as we possibly can. An extra table of 10 people is $1,600. We sent out 247 invitations. Our first RSVP deadline is March 28.
Of the 247
That puts us at 226, which makes me very happy.
However, we also can’t go under 225 since that’s our guaranteed minimum. So if we receive 113 more yes RSVPs, we’re cool. If we don’t, we get to go into our second round of invites. However, what if these 113 people don’t respond on time? I’d like to give our second round of invites ample time to respond as well.
So, I know, I’m thinking too far ahead because I have been getting more RSVPs in the past few days as we approach the deadline, but do I ask people? Do I write them a personal email asking if they’re coming? Do I send out a mass email to remind people to RSVP? I don’t want to be rude, but I need to know!
What would you do? Have you had any RSVP worries?
It’s actually totally fine to call or email people to double check. As long as you don’t sound angry, nothing will sound rude!
I would email the oustanding invitees and address it along the lines of a friendly reminder that RSVPs are due this Sunday and would love for you to come celebrate our wedding with us! I’m doing assigned seating at an Asian reception so I told the wedding party and parents that no RSVP equals no food for them so they’ve been verbally telling the elder Asians about this so that they will know to RSVP by the date. Asians will do anything for free food! hahaha!
@alivoo01: HAHA! That’s hilarious..but no joke! They really will! I’ll have to ask Momma Lace to do that. 
I think a call or email is a great idea! You can always send out a “Wedding Newsletter” with updates, details and an RSVP reminder. That’s what I am going to do because I hate confrontation… haha… seriously though, I do.
My friend wrote a Facebook status that was “We gave people the card, the envelop and the stamp yet they still can’t get the RSVP back in time.” harsh, but it worked!
I would ask the moms (or MOH) to do that so you don’t sound like a rude or nagging bride… even though you don’t intend to be.
I sent out a mass email reminding people to RSVP (I asked them to do it within the next 3 days), with a link to the online RSVP form. Every person I emailed except one filled out the RSVP within that 3 day time limit! I would do that, then call the ones you still need a day or two after the deadline passes.
Honestly, I think every bride stresses about RSVP’s in one way or another. I know it’s not the most comforting, but rest assured that you’re not alone!
@missvintage: What are you planning on doing?
@pvaulter718: Thanks for the reassurance! Now that I’m on the other side, I will always RSVP asap for weddings!
@SabrinaR424: That’s a good idea. I’m so unconfrontational (even though it’s not like that), I feel so weird calling them, but it might be what it takes to get them to RSVP!
That was the worst part of the wedding planning…the guest list and RSVPs and the seating chart. It’s 5 years ago, but it’s bringing back bad memories. Nooo! Okay, it’s not that bad, but it would be nice if people could RSVP in a timely manner.
I just started the emails. I hate doing it, but I need to know! I blamed it on the hotel block. you could try something similar.
Oh no, I’m sending mine out this weekend, and I know I will totally stress about this!
I think calling is fine. And maybe you could delegate it to a family member or bridesmaid. How did you handle the two sets of invites? We’re thinking about doing that too, but didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings if they found out they were in the second round. Did you just split it up so that those in the first round weren’t people who really knew/would talk to people in the second round?
I’m with Hamster, I’m sending mine out soon, and will totally be stressing until I have them all back!
I like Sabrina’s idea, and maybe I will do that too–sending a link to an online RSVP for stragglers. They would be wasting the RSVP stamp I sent them, but it would be worth it for the quicker response.
omg miss lace, 225 is our magic number too!! well both 225 and 242. our venue agreed to give us a slight discount as long as we have 225 adults. but we can’t exceed 242 due to space constraints. so i’m trying to find that balance between 225 and 242. but sucks that you need to have EXACTLY 225. i think that will be tough. 
we’re also sending RSVPs in batches, with the first set due April 10, so i’m anxiously awaiting replies. i think that on April 10 or 11, I’m going to email or call people that have not responded. We’re sending out batches based on location (international, out of state, and some family members got the first batch). i’m hoping that our first tier guests will fill out our requirements exactly. sorry, if i wasn’t much help, but at least know that you’re not the only sending multiple batches!! i hope guests don’t find it terribly rude to have an April 10 RSVP for a July 10 wedding. :\
We had a first and second round too. On the first round rsvp due date, my fiance started calling, emailing, facebooking, whatever he could to get responses (first round was his incredibly large family, so it was his job). We got a few pleas for more time to figure it out, but most people responded yes or no right away and within 3 days we had all of our responses and could happily move forward.
It is totally, 100% ok to follow up with people -they are the ones being rude by not responding by your requested date - so you shouldn’t feel bad about it at all!
I’m going through this now. Yesterday was the first day that I got no rsvp’s in the mail and Im starting to freak. We only have 85 people that rsvp’d that they can make it a couple of no’s but so many lingering out there…..I’m starting to freak, what if we don’t have enough…what if we have to much….the not knowing is the worst part.
@MOHmama: haha. So I’m not crazy right?!
@Nance: It took me almost 6 weeks to get 85 RSVP’S! I am hoping an email will get everyone remotivated to RSVP!
@Miss Frozen Yogurt: I feel like I’m pestering them. Hmmm no hotel blocks, but can I blame it on food? No one could get mad at food.
@Miss Cola: @Miss Hamster: Hopefully your guests will submit their asap! We got a few the day after.
@silverbuggy: @ladyox: We sent our first round out 16 weeks before the wedding and gave them 6 weeks. This next round will be 10 weeks before the wedding and also 6 weeks to respond. That will give us a month to finalize.
Normally is you are under your minimum they will just charge you a service charge to make up the difference. That is what we are going to do should we fall under the minimum, so that we don’t have to worry about inviting extras and all the added hassle and headaches that goes along with that. Good luck!
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Mrs. Lace, Pasadena, CA Age and Occupation: 29, Elementary school teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Engineer Engagement Date: September 6, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Orange County Performing Arts Center About Me: Born and raised in Southern California, my fiance and I are marrying in Orange County. We're planning a vintage wedding with a modern twist. I am an elementary school teacher by day and a wedding planner by night. I love reading, blogging, scrapbooking, trying out new DIY projects, buying awesome finds at incredible deals and spending time with friends and family. Trying new restaurants, traveling and shopping also top my hobby list. I'm anxious to share my wedding ideas and planning with the hive!
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