Mr. Veggie and I are in that weird place where we’re not quite sure what to call each other in public. “Boyfriend”/”girlfriend” sounds like he just asked me to the eighth grade dance. And I certainly can’t use our pet names in public. (Immigration: Why are you applying for this visa. Me: My um”¦ lovey… is a full-time student?)

But “fiance” has just never sounded right to us. Plus, if I introduce myself as Mr. Veg’s fiance it inevitably leads to long conversations about wedding planning and proposals and sometimes I just don’t want to get into all that with strangers (that’s why we have the hive, right?).

Luckily here in New Zealand the use of the word “partner” is fairly common, and we’ve taken to using that pretty often. But it does sound pretty formal, and since I have a boyish name can lead to some mild, yet entertaining, confusion.

So, we don’t really have this problem solved, but occasionally if I’m talking to a stranger, who I’ll likely never see again, and Mr. Veggie is out of earshot, I’ll label Mr. Veggie as my “husband”.

I don’t do it very often, but when I do it always makes me smile. I get a little giddy. I feel mischievous. It’s like shaking your Christmas presents to try to figure out what’s inside (which I never do) or skipping ahead to the last page of a novel to find out the ending (which sometimes I do). I get a little embarrassed and look around to see if anyone we know might have overheard my white lie.

But yesterday, when we got to the check-out at the supermarket, each struggling with our overloaded baskets because we definitely weren’t going to buy enough to justify a full shopping cart, I, of course, decided I needed to go back to grab one more thing. Mr. Veg started to unload his 50 kg basket onto the conveyor belt and a woman stepped behind him in the line. I was coming back up the aisle and overheard this tidbit.

Mr. Veggie: “Um excuse me, but my wife just ran to grab one more thing, she’ll be right back.”

Be still my heart. He does it too! I melted.


Do you call each other something other than “Fiance/e”? Why?


Mrs. Veggie

Raglan, New Zealand/Scranton, PA
Wedding Date:
August 2010
Let's Talk About Him (For a Change)

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  1. Member
    littlemissmoo 3006 posts, Sugar bee @ 7:30 am

    I just worked with a woman who always called Mr Moo “Miss Moo’s husband”. I never corrected her, it made me smile every time :)

  2. Member
    sapphirebride 1748 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:51 am

    I was pretty excited to be able to call my boyfriend my fiance. It’s not the easiest word to have roll off of the tongue but it’s an improvement in the eighth-grade dance department. I agree though, that husband will flow much more easily.

  3. Member
    CuppinKeix 231 posts, Helper bee @ 3:30 pm

    I do feel a little bit snobbish calling him ‘fiance’ sometimes, but once I introduce him to someone as my fiance, if the person refers to them as my boyfriend, I get a bit upset- one woman I work with calls him my boyfriend all the time, even though I’ve made sure to say fiance around her several times! :/

  4. Member
    AmberWaves 326 posts, Helper bee @ 10:03 am

    For me it’s whatever comes out first. I don’t tend to refer to the fiance as my husband, but if someone else does I don’t correct them. :)

  5. Member
    alivoo01 2625 posts, Sugar bee @ 1:11 pm

    Awwww…. my FI and I call each other husband/wife also occasionally depending on the situation. We’re in route to get married so why not right? Love it!

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    Kay, Guest @ 2:47 pm

    We are both pretty informal, and so fiance sounds funny to us as well. I started referring to him as “the dude I’m getting hitched to”, since it made people laugh, which is more my style.

  7. argyle Bee
    argyle 2519 posts, Sugar bee @ 12:51 am

    That is too sweet. We use fiance/e occasionally.

  8. Member
    dominodeer 88 posts, Worker bee @ 10:01 pm

    My boyfriend bought a new car last Xmas. Before he bought it we talked at length about it. When we finally went to the dealership, the salesman shook my hand and said “so is this Mrs P? You shpuld be thankful to her for letting you buy this car,” to my boyfriend. My bf just laughed and said, ” not yet but will soon be hopefully, and yes i am very thankful.”

    Me? I just melted. He always blushes when someone calls me his wife or ask, ” y’all married?”

    We are engaged but i still refer to him as my boyfriend. Old habits die hard!

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