”˜I Do’ and That’s It?

We’re getting down to crunch time! The marriage license application has been sent, the final payment has been made, the home party invites have been mailed, and now we wait. In 3 weeks, we’ll be in paradise!

Last week, I received an email from the hotel’s wedding department with our wedding day itinerary. Being left in the dark about the big day until now hasn’t really bothered me except for when people asked me how the planning is going. Uh, we’re done. We have been for a while. We’ve left most of the actual planning in the hands of the hotel”¦ just the way we wanted it.

So when I read the wedding day plan”¦

  • 5:00: Groom comes to lobby for 1st set of pictures
  • 5:15: Bride escorted from her room for pictures in lobby
  • 5:30: Ceremony begins. Photographer takes pics during and after ceremony at wedding site
  • 6:30: Ceremony and pictures conclude

”¦ I thought it was perfectly simple and sweet. Normally, a reception immediately following the ceremony is expected but we didn’t want to do the expected, we wanted to do things our way and the island way—laid back and low stress. I’m starting to think we’re already on ”˜island time’! We don’t have anything planned after the ceremony and the home party has taken on a life of it’s own. We both agree, that is our ‘something after the wedding’, it’s just going to happen a month later.

Someone actually said to me, “Isn’t that going to be kind of anti-climactic for you? ”˜I do’, then you’re done?”

Well, no”¦ the ”˜I do’ part is our climax! Afterwards, we envision opening a bottle of champagne, doing a toast with our friends and families, then jumping in the pool!



The simple fact is that our number one goal is to promise to love and honor each other for the rest of our lives with our families and friends sharing in the joy that is our marriage. Our number 2 goal is to relax and enjoy the vacation. Our reception is to follow”¦ one month later.

My best advice is if you are planning to go against the grain, do it. It’s your day and no one should be allowed to dictate your wedding day but you and your fiance.

Have you/did you deal with any negative feedback regarding your planning of your day?


Mrs. Nachos

Chicago/St. Thomas
Wedding Date:
April 2010
Gallery of the Day
My Final Few Nights as a Bachelorette

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  1. Member
    di5308 382 posts, Helper bee @ 11:46 am

    Kudos! The ceremony is the most important part for us too. The party is just a bonus, for us to relax, eat and enjoy our guests.

    I agree that if you want to do something against the grain, you should go for it. It’s not always possible, and it wasn’t for us, but I think it’s awesome to do things your own way and not the ways others say you should.

  2. Member
    MissChirpie 732 posts, Busy bee @ 11:47 am

    I think your wedding day sounds awesome, I am all about the low stress mindset. Are you going to jump in the pool with your dress on? :)

  3. Member
    alivoo01 2625 posts, Sugar bee @ 11:58 am

    It sounds relaxing since most people say they were dog gone tired after it’s all said and done!

  4. Member
    missvintage 571 posts, Busy bee @ 12:02 pm

    it sounds amazing!

  5. Member
    Curlysue 1703 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:05 pm

    I love the timeline for your day and fly by the seat of your pants afterwards! It sounds like a lot of fun :)

  6. hamster Member
    hamster 4047 posts, Honey bee @ 12:06 pm

    I think it sounds perfect :)

  7. Member
    mander411 735 posts, Busy bee @ 12:06 pm

    that sounds more then perfect!! For my friends DW, we all had dinner together afterwards, drinks and app’s then a real dinner. It was great! Then after that she got tossed into the pool (willingly) by her arms and legs and swam in her dress a bit with her new husband. Pics though show her ‘something blue’ undies under her wet dress LOL

  8. frenchfries Member
    frenchfries 2168 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:07 pm

    I think it sounds fantastic! Low on stress, high on happiness and relaxation. Just how it should be.

  9. Member
    lauralou852 516 posts, Busy bee @ 12:08 pm

    SUCH a true post! And I love that you plan on jumping in the pool – I’ve had a picture similar to that one saved in my favorites since the beginning.. Even though there’s no pool at our venue. :(

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    Album Boutique Team, Guest @ 12:15 pm

    You know, I think this is a great idea! Focus on the wedding ceremony one day, and the party later on. Best of both worlds :) I hope your day is fabulous!

  11. Member
    egb 1864 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:15 pm

    We did the exact same thing. Our ceremony was at 4:00 and the champagne toast was planned by the hotel. We figured we’d go to a restaurant after with the group, but when we got to the resort, they had us pick a menu – apparently it was part of the package.. So we did; and after eating, we went for more pics while most went their own way, then we changed and had drinks with people that were still there.

    Really, it was not that planned, and during the planning process, there were lots of: other than what we wear and the fact that we’re getting married, we don’t know. When people criticized, we just said that this is the way we wanted it because the rest is details and we don’t want to stress about details which is WHY we chose a DW!

    Ms Nachos, I can assure you: You are going to have a blast!! not stressing about details means that you can’t be disappointed because your expectations weren’t met. I truely think it is the best way to go.

  12. Member
    pvaulter718 2116 posts, Buzzing bee @ 12:15 pm

    Could you please really jump in a pool all done in your wedding day duds?? I would love to do that, but I’m chicken and probably would have drowned in my dress.

  13. Member
    Miss Spaghetti 282 posts, Helper bee @ 12:29 pm

    I’m getting married in Punta Cana in September and got slack for having a DW in general. Hence the home reception we will have after lol. Can’t wait to see your pictures!

  14. Guest Icon Guest
    Elisa, Guest @ 12:50 pm

    I love that your wedding is exactly as you envisioned! There are so many ‘expectations’ to a wedding nowadays that any couple doing something out of the ‘norm’ received snark comments and rude behavior. I 100% agree that a wedding should be reflective of the couple, and not assumptions of the Wedding Industry.

    I actually had a friend tell me, to my face, that our wedding is going to suck because we are having an outdoor wedding (in the fall!) in the afternoon and “getting drunk when there is still daylight out is the worst”. *speechless* I was hurt at first, but the hurt turned to anger later. I have always wanted an outdoor wedding in the fall! I’ve learned recently to just stop sharing my wedding details with my guests, because the more I share the more ‘input’ I receive. Since when did wedding planning become a group decision?!?!

  15. taco Member
    taco 946 posts, Busy bee @ 12:52 pm

    Oh, there’s always someone (or some people) who throw their two cents in. This is always a stresser for me, since I tend to be negatively affected by other people’s commentary. But I try to just say ‘evs and move it along. Things will be just fine on the day-of, I’m sure of it.

  16. Member
    rawrkitty1022 516 posts, Busy bee @ 1:03 pm

    I do love that your focus is on the ceremony and the marriage – the union, and not a huge crazy mad party with tons of stress and details…how relaxing and lovely! And yes, the marriage is the climax! Sounds great :-) Hope it is everything you dreamed of!

  17. trailmix Member
    trailmix 6663 posts, Bee Keeper @ 1:20 pm

    I think you have the perfect attitude towards it all and it’s going to be amazing, no matter what!

  18. guineapig Member
    guineapig 1375 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:01 pm

    Ha, you’re right – the ceremony IS the big deal, people! I think it’s awesome you’ll get to relax afterwards – please please jump in the pool in your dress 😀

  19. Member
    redbullfanatic 489 posts, Helper bee @ 2:16 pm

    THIS is why we’re going to Maui to get married. I want to wake up and snorkel, go back and get ready while sipping champagne then meet my man on the beach to say our vows and take some pictures….we’ll go to dinner with our family after but really we don’t even have that planned. Stress free and laid back…sounds fabulous.

  20. turtle Member
    turtle 776 posts, Busy bee @ 2:45 pm

    I love this. Seriously, reading it made me so happy. :)
    That’s what it’s all about!

  21. Member
    AmberWaves 326 posts, Helper bee @ 4:04 pm

    I’m completely on your wave length and that is why I’m having a DW too. I haven’t gotten too much negative feedback except for the fact that people are bummed they can’t come.

  22. msgiraffe Member
    msgiraffe 4248 posts, Honey bee @ 9:15 pm

    I think it sounds nice :)

  23. Member
    mrspaetz 3812 posts, Honey bee @ 10:43 pm

    haha i think our most ‘anti climatic’ part was that the day zoomed by so quickly!!

  24. Member
    thebriz 448 posts, Helper bee @ 11:52 am

    We’ve kept the planning to ourselves, especially since we are footing the bill. Frankly, we could care less if someone has a negative comment; not everyone will like everything – at the end of the day, it’s our wedding so who cares. What I found interesting with your timeline is that it’s pretty tight; I’d add at least another 5-10 min before the ceremony for pictures. Even with a small to non-existent party, 15 minutes seems a bit small for a photographer to get in a lot of good, varied shots.

  25. Member
    Lo 538 posts, Busy bee @ 3:08 pm

    Unfortunately my mom has already started with the negative comments because she already has her mind made up about what my wedding should be like…. and we’ve only been officially engaged for less than a week!

  26. argyle Member
    argyle 2519 posts, Sugar bee @ 1:13 am

    I’m a firm believer in doing what is right for you – regardless of what the industry and trends say.

  27. Member
    jbell157 29 posts, Newbee @ 10:09 pm

    I’m so excited that you got to blog about your wedding! I’m getting married on St. John in 30 days! When we first started planning I really wanted my families opinion on what they wanted and what they thought would be ok financially wise. They all said just run away and come back and we’ll have a party, that way you won’t have to stress out and we’ll pay for it all. So of course we were like ok! Shortly after we planned everything and really decided to have our wedding on St. John we started getting negative feedback. Needless to say we were confused. They said they meant for us to run away but they would still be able to come…? How does that make sense. So we told them that it was about me and my fi and this is what we wanted. Some of them got over it and some still have negative feelings about it. But with the promise of a nice party after we get back they got over it. Anyways, we are so psyched and I think our day will have everything we need and more…because it will be about me and him and no one else, which is what its about!
    Thanks for sharing your journey, even though I just found it, its so cool to read about someone who has gone through something very similar! Congratulations!

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