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One of my bridesmaid sent me a text that asked me who pays for the bachelorette party (this wasn’t related to my wedding; she’s in another wedding this summer). Although I have only been in one wedding, I’m not sure where I got this from, but I always though the bridesmaids pay for themselves and split the cost of the bride, and then the other guests attending pay for themselves.
My BM responded that she thought that it was tacky to ask guests to pay for themselves and she thought bridesmaids should pay for everyone. Her reasoning was that a bridesmaid wouldn’t ask a guest to pay their way for a shower, so why is this different?
As someone who has only been to two recent bachelorette parties, I’m a bit stumped. I’ve always assumed each girl paid their own way, except of course, the bride. I feel like I must have read this somewhere.
What do you think? Is it the bridesmaids’ responsibility to pay for everyone in attendance? What have your experiences been?
I’ve only been to one bachelorette party, but it was like you said - everyone pretty much paid for themselves, except for the bride!
I have been told that only the bride is taken care of and the rest of the girls pay their own way. It seems like a lot to put on the bridesmaids to pay for everyone.
I’ve been to 3 bachelorette parties - the bride didn’t pay (her cost split among the bridesmaids) and then everyone else paid their own way. I’m not sure if that’s *the* way to do it, but that’s been my experience.
Edited - the bride’s cost might have been split among all the guests, I don’t remember. Either way, she didn’t pay, but everyone else paid their own way.
I think it depends on what you’re doing for the party. If it’s a destination party, then I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to ask the bridesmaids to pay for the bride (and definitely not to have them pay for everyone!). For instance, if we end up going away for my bachelorette, I’ll pay my own airfare and at least chip in for the cost of the room. Free drinks, on the other hand, are very welcome! 
Even if it’s a local party, I don’t think it would be NECESSARY for the bridesmaids to pay for everyone in attendance. Very very nice, and I’m sure people would appreciate it, but I don’t think it’s expected.
All the bachelorette parties I’ve been to (including my own in 10 days!) all the invitees have pitched in equally (both to cover their own costs and those of the bride).
I think everyone should pay their own way except the bride. If you were going out partying for a regular night out, you would pay for yourself. The BMs shouldn’t get stuck paying for additional people.
I have been to many a bachelorette and have never had the experience as a guest be paid for by a bridesmaid! Maybe I don’t run with the right crowd :). Guests are treated at the shower, and it generally courtesy to attend a shower, but attending a bachelorette party is a personal decision- some people aren’t comfortable attending, etc. Point being, showers and bachelorettes are two different entities- and if you are attending a bachelorette, you should be 1) ready to have a lot of fun and 2) willing to buy some fun drinks and accessories for the bride to be :)- but this is just my opinion!!!
I’ve NEVER been to a bachelorette party *gasp* lol But in my head I imagined it the way you described. Hammy just confirmed it
I’ve been to several, and usually the maid of honor and bridesmaids chip in for a chunk of it, and the rest is split among the guests. Usually guests are asked to pay between $20-$80, depending on what activities are planned.
I have been to a few bachelorette parties and I always pay my own way. I think it’s different from a shower because it’s a night out with girlfriends, and I would never expect to go out on someone else’s dime!
I’ve been to plenty of bachelorette parties in my day (and even one bachelor party), and every one I attended guests paid their own way and split the cost of the bride/groom between them.
and as @sboston said-a shower is a different kind of event. It’s more of a hosting thing at someone’s home, whereas a bachelorette party is a night on the town. Hosting vs. organizing a night on the town are different in my mind.
The only way I have heard is for everyone to pay there own way and split the cost for the bride. it seems fair since all bridesmaids would be paying the same amount
It depends on the type of party.
I had one friend who had more of a bachelorette slumber party where we all stayed in for the night and the bridesmaids covered all the accessories, food and drinks.
And another where we went out for dinner and booked a private party at the local scrapbooking store where everyone paid their own way and we distributed the cost of the bride among the bridesmaids.
And another where we basically bar-hopped and again everyone paid their own, I think the MOH bought a round, and the bride was either covered by the bridesmaids or whoever else stepped up to buy her next drink.
Same with bachelor parties, low-key stay in and play games are generally covered by the groomsmen.
A full day of crazy fun or an evening of bar-hopping and/or clubs are usually paid for individually…
I know for my brother’s the groomsmen made t-shirts for everyone and got group rates for most of the organized activities (they played a round of golf, went bowling, go-cart racing, went to dinner, and finished up at a casino… it was a full day) everyone still pitched in to cover themselves and the groom was taken care of.
Compare it to a bachelor party - I’ve never, ever heard of the groomsmen covering the whole thing. So I doubt any bachelorette attendees expect the bridesmaids to pay for them.
I had mine last weekend and everyone paid their own way and split my costs. I don’t think it’s fair to make the bridesmaids pay for everyone.
I agree with everyone’s posts- I would expect to pay my own way as a guest and the bridal party would cover the costs of the bride.
I’m having a destination Bach party… everyone (including me) paid their own way to get there, meaning flight and hotel. From the sound of it, it seems like all the girls (BMs and other guests) plan to pay for a lot for me once we get there… but I don’t mind paying for myself at all! They’ve already spent so much money just to get there and BMs already have the added costs of being in my wedding so I definitely think everying should pay their own way!
I think the bride is paid for and the rest of the girls pay their own way. But I guess if ALL the bridesmaids really want to splurge, that’d be ok. But they do not have to!
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Mrs. Starfish, Boston/Newport Age and Occupation: 25, Operations Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Sales Engagement Date: October 8, 2008 Wedding Date: October 2010 Venue: The Atlantic Beach Club About Me: I'm a perfectionist who is a planner at heart. I don't do well with surprises. I love planning, crafting, Newport RI, family and friends, and most importantly, Mr. Starfish---all of which will be big components in our October wedding in our favorite little city by the sea.
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