Weddingbee Blog

“Are they made from real girl scouts?”

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A few weeks ago I came out at Paper Source. Yup. I was snagging my envelopes and paper for our STDs and got to chatting with the Paper Source girl and she told me that if she ever lost her (freakin’ ginormous) diamond she wanted to get a ring like mine. I had no choice but to take this as a compliment. She then asked if it was “his” idea and I said, “no, it was her idea,” and without skipping a beat we continued our conversation about which way my wrap around labels should go. No big deal right?

Now as you all know, I pretty much picked out my ring myself so I could very easily have completely avoided gender specific pronouns and just stuck with a simple “I actually picked it out myself” type response.

I chose not to. It’s a choice I’m trying to make in any and all situations where I feel that no physical harm will come to me. Now luckily I live in Los Angeles, but having spent time in parts of this wide world where, um, gulp, they killharmrapetorture you for being gay, I do feel the need to be a touch pragmatic and to recognize that coming out is not always safe.

And now we return to my bubble where unicorns frolic, tattooed lesbians walk their babies (and furbabies) around the reservoir and we have an awesome shot at getting our not-yet-born children into preschool b/c of our “extreme diversity”. In this world I advocate coming out as early, often, and emphatically as possible and I’m just trying to do my part with my blog, my life and our wedding. Maybe I’m preaching to the choir but I really hope that the simple act of being open about our lives will encourage others to do the same AND maybe even give folks who don’t agree with my lifestyle life, a moment to reconsider. I’m not a threat, an abstraction, or a box to check on your ballot, I’m just a real girl with a blog and a very Christian mama who loves me just the same!

And this past week in California it would appear that the simple act of being open, honest, and brave is working because according to the Public Policy Institute of California for THE FIRST TIME EVER, “More Californians favor (50%) than oppose (45%) same-sex marriage.”

This is a big deal people. A seriously big deal. And one that me and my little blog are definitely in NO WAY taking credit for. Nope.

There are a lot of truly brave people spending their free time (read their precious week-ends/evening hours) working for change here in California and across the country. With organizations like Equality California & The Courage Campaign, they are going door to door and having conversations with complete strangers about marriage equality. I write this blog, I donate money, I attend rallies and protests, but, gulp, to talk to complete strangers who might say mean or hurtful things to my face? Double Big Gulp. It scares the bejeebus outta me. AND obviously it works. So should we put our money where our mouth (and heart) is and spend a few weekends knocking on doors and talking to our neighbors?

I’m thinking these conversations might have a more long term impact on our wedding/marriage than another weekend spent crafting. But I’m still a little scared.

What difficult conversations has your wedding encouraged you to have? Be they money, politics, religion, flowers or something else?