Weddingbee Blog

There are certain things that I’ve determined that I will never wear. Contained on this list?

1. Crocs. I know, they’re “super comfortable!” But, I just can’t.
2. Rompers/Jumpsuits that American Apparel is desperately trying to sell. They look like adult onesies to me.
3. Empire waist tops/dresses/etc. They’re flattering on many women, but I just look like I’ve had one too many quesadillas.
4. Harem Pants. I’m sorry, these should have been left in the early ’90s, along with MC Hammer.
5. A Bluetooth headset and/or my cell phone clipped to my pants. No. Just… no. I’m not in the CIA.
6. Acid washed anything. ‘Nuff said.

If you would have asked me, aprés wedding, if hoop skirts were on this list, I would have channeled Napoleon Dynamite and responded with a resounding ”heck yes!” After all, what do I look like, Scarlett O’Hara? But, the unthinkable has happened. Kids…I’m wearing a hoop skirt. You can call me Scarlett.

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You see, this all happened when I was at my “consultation appointment” for my first fitting. We were figuring out the cost of my alterations, what undergarments I should plan on wearing, things like that. I was in the dressing room, feeling quite warm from all of the layers of dress piled on top of my legs. Let’s see. I have two layers of “under skirt” which are basically like a slip keeping the scratchy crinoline off my legs. On top of that, I have two layers of said scratchy crinoline, and then on top of that (finally) is the skirt of my gown. All of those layers (especially the two “slip” layers) made it feel like I was wearing a dress with my favorite VS Pink sweatpants underneath. Sweatpants = comfy. Sweatpants + 20 pounds of dress on top = not so comfy.

So, my seamstress suggested wearing a hoop skirt to get the layers off of my legs and get some air flowing. When she first suggested it, it was like the sound of a record skipping — whaaaaat? She wants me to wear what? Immediately, I envisioned my sister “lacing me into my stays” and some huge contraption around my waist made out of whale bone. OK, maybe not whale bone… but whatever, go with it. The seamstress insisted I try it, and dashed out of the room before I could resist.

She came back with a three hoop skirt — which is exactly what it sounds like: an underskirt with three plastic hoops in it. Once I had it on, the effect was less “bride” and more “girl sitting on a cupcake” or “can-can dancer”, so we nixed the three hoop skirt immediately.

Before I removed the caged monstrosity from underneath my dress, I had my sister take pictures to share with the hive. I know I said I wasn’t posting pictures of the dress until after the wedding, but it’s pretty safe to say that Mr. FF never goes onto the ‘bee, so I’m safe.

Crazy arms and facial expressions to exaggerate the cupcake-ness of the skirt: entirely necessary.

Pretending to can-can dance. Ooh la, la!

Let’s not even mention the fact that this particular hoop skirt made my dress about 5 inches too short. Onward! The seamstress then brought in a single hoop skirt, which was definitely a better option. After getting into and out of the dress for about the 5th time that day, I was hoping that this one was my golden ticket. Success!

(three photos above by me)

Ahh, much better. Try to ignore the fact that the dress needs to be taken in on both sides (right now the bodice is creating a lovely rectangular ruler-like effect on me) and that I have two layers of underskirt bunched up around my waist. I had to admit, it was much more comfortable than I expected. Getting through doorways might be a bit of a challenge, but if it means that I feel sweatpant-free that day, it’s worth it. In the meantime, I’ll work on channeling my inner Scarlett. Fiddle-dee-dee.

Are you wearing something for your wedding that you never would have imagined?