Weddingbee Blog

Ah, the seduction of an “international” relationship. Gee, the movies really set you up to think you’ll be swept away. Of course, I’m thinking more this:

Yay!

than this:

Nay.

I’m a citizenship novice. I was born an American citizen, and my experience with immigration has been limited to 45 second talks with officials when I enter a different country or return to the U.S. after vacation. Apart from the one-off reminders that not everyone assumes I’m American (”Yes, I do speak English. No, you’re not near Chinatown.”*), I’ve never really given much thought to the rules of citizenship, immigration or anything of that sort. So when the Mister and I had our first appointment with an immigration lawyer to start his green card process, it was a real eye-opener.

This lawyer was recommended to us by a friend, and I could see why - she was young, personable, and put us at ease right away. Of course, that ease disappeared when she asked how long we’d been together - the response (”Uhhhh…2 and a half years? Something like that?”) was less than stellar. We will obviously have to practice that before the green card interview.

We then got into the nitty-gritty.

Basically the purpose of the green card interview is to ensure that we are a “real” couple - not one that had met for the first time 5 minutes before the interview. To prove this, we would have to produce a multitude of items, such as:

1. Pictures of the two of us together, in loooove

Apparently, some couples literally bring in wheelbarrows of pictures. First of all, I don’t own a wheelbarrow. Secondly, *if* I did, I would feel a little silly lugging that thing around NYC. But not to worry, our lawyer assured us that a scrapbook or photo album with a big heart on the front (No joke, apparently interviewers like that stuff) would work just fine. As for lovey-dovey… hmm - does a picture of Mr. Hammy in a sumo suit count?

2. No kleptomaniacs or murderers, please
The lawyer asked us if either of us had been divorced, had criminal records, or children. The green card interviewer won’t hold this against you (well, maybe the criminal record part), but they need to know. The Mister and I both answered no, but I admit we did look at each other surreptitiously when we answered - imagine what a surprise it would be if I found out the Mister was a hardened criminal (or if I revealed I had 18 kids he didn’t know about, haha).

This doesn’t go over so well in the interview.

3. Proof we were born
Ooh. So I asked my mom about this one, since I definitely don’t have my birth certificate - is that bad? It turns out you can order extra copies of your birth certificate (that count as originals) for a small fee. Who knew? My mom did, obviously. Go mom.

4. Proof I want to be a Sugar Mama
Apparently, we have to submit an “Affidavit of Support” - a form that shows I make enough money to support Mister Hammy if loses his job, so he won’t be a drain on American society. All I can say is that he better not take me up on that offer.

I don’t think so.

5. Pictures from our wedding
No rent-a-bride here - we’ll need pictures to show that our wedding was the real deal.

6. Proof we are “for reals”
No fakers allowed. Joint bank accounts, utility bills, tenancy - anything that shows we are a unit. Pictures with each others’ families, travel itineraries - the more the better. Hey, maybe the fact that I’m a Weddingbee blogger? I mean, what are the chances I’d put all this energy into blogging about a fake relationship? Quite slim.

Would I fake this? I don’t think so.

7. Details that I have forgotten
When did we start dating? What was the exact month we went to Maui? How long did you stay in Singapore in 2007? Crap, I don’t know. These are just some of the details we’ll have to go back and look up to prove we’re not faking it.

8. Apparently, looks DO matter
Once we’ve compiled all these details, we need to pretty-fy it - no joke, the lawyer said that the interviewers are suckers for color copies and Filofaxes with tabs and organization. YES!!! Loves it - was I mean to be a green card interviewer?

Break out the Trapper Keeper! (Lambo-like car not included)

And a bunch of other stuff.

Phew! Our lawyer says it’s good we’re getting the process started early. We should have all the documents prepared and ready to go, so that literally the day after we get married, we can just add in the final piece to the application package (the marriage license) and submit. At that point, it will take up to 90 days for us to receive a document which allows the Mister to travel out of the country. Considering that we’ll be flying out for our Singapore reception a week after the 90 day mark (and to Africa a few weeks after that), we really have no leeway in terms of this timeframe.

So… please don’t delay us, U.S. government, ya hear me?

*An actual exchange between me and a tourist. Ironically, people who meet the Mister think he’s from California. Go figure.

Any other inter-country brides out there?