Weddingbee Blog

So there’s the saying, “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” but what if you’re like me? I’ve never been a bridesmaid!!! Yes, that’s right. I’ve never gotten the chance to look like this:

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Katherine Heigl, you look maaaarvelous, daahling… just not in this.

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Sadly, my closet occasionally looks like this, and I don’t have 27 bridesmaid’s dresses in it!

For my adult life,* I have never had the privilege of being a bridesmaid. I’ve never planned a bachelorette party; held the bouquet for a friend while she’s said her vows; or planned a bridal shower. The sad part is that as I get older, it’s looking like there is a strong possibility that I may not have this experience. Part of me is sad about that, but another part of me is wondering if that may not be such a bad thing.

Please don’t think I am hating on the concept of being a bridesmaid. I actually think it’s a very amazing honor bestowed on a friend or a loved one. By being a bridesmaid, you’re in a position to be a source of support and comfort for that special bride in your life during what can be a busy and stressful time.

As much as I know all of this, I’ve also come to realize that I am not in the prime position for being asked to even be a bridesmaid ’cause:

1. I’m essentially an only child. No siblings means less chance to be in at least one wedding.
2. I’ve got a small group of friends. I love my friends. I may not have oodles of them, but the ones I do have I LOVE. They are an amazing group of primarily women who awe me on the regular. They just don’t have me in their bridal parties. But seriously, I’m also the type to spend quality time with two to three people at a time and not really prone to being a part of big groups of friends. I guess less friends automatically lowers the chances of a bridesmaid invite, huh?
3. Most of my good friends have had the small city hall or destination wedding; have an army of sisters and female cousins who take priority over me; or went the “no bridal party” route like I did. As a group, we’re also pushing further and further into our 30s and simplicity in life and relationships seems to be taking priority over tradition. I really feel many of my unmarried friends will choose to forgo the bridal party option. Maybe someone will prove me wrong?

I don’t know why this is coming up now. Okay, that’s a lie. I do. A recently engaged BFF actually didn’t ask me to be a part of her wedding party. She’ll have her sister and one other friend. At first, I was a bit taken off guard and kinda disappointed. Mr. Swan even mentioned that I shouldn’t even be caring about ever being a bridesmaid because I’ve already had the ultimate wedding experience: I’ve been a bride! I know that I am getting back what I put out into the universe, since I didn’t have a bridal party of my own. Ahhh, darn you, Bridal Karma!

After awhile to think about it, I’m actually almost a little psyched about not being chosen as a part of the wedding party. I didn’t really understand my own change of heart at first, but now I feel like there is a bit of freedom in my continued bridesmaid virginity: no dress I may or may not like; some nice cost savings; and not having to think at all (just celebrate) the day of the wedding. In the end I guess it doesn’t seem so bad, right?

Is there anyone else out there who has never been a bridesmaid and has the odds stacked against their chance of achieving bridesmaid-dom? Am I missing an important life experience? Let me know!

*I was a junior bridesmaid in my aunt’s wedding when I was twelve. I just stood there and looked cute. When I was eighteen, I did the same thing for a family friend who seemed to need some warm bodies to have an even bridal party. Her fiance had seven brothers or something like that. In both cases, I didn’t really do much. I don’t count these though, but should I?