Reduced Guilt Potato Chips

Reduced Guilt Potato Chips

April 13th, 2010 @ 4:55 pm by Ms Potato Chips
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The other night my mom sent me an email: “Did you mean to register for two food processors? Because you did… and it looks like one of them was fulfilled!”

We definitely did not mean to register for two food processors, so I hopped online to delete one… and couldn’t help noticing that guests are already buying us gifts from our registry.

This is like, ridiculous Obvious City, because… duh, we registered. And the point of registering is so that people will buy us gifts. But honest-to-blog, I was honestly surprised and a bit flabbergasted to see that… wow, people are actually buying us gifts.

I cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die when I say that the experience of registering was satisfying in and of itself. I know that sounds crazy, but I am a person who routinely adds items to online carts and then closes the whole page. I get my jollies from window-shopping because I’m on a graduate stipend that barely covers groceries.

I’ve been this way for years now and I’ve gotten used to it. And I’ve found that I feel terrible, horrible guilt from people spending their hard-earned money on presents for me. And then I feel guilty from feeling guilty. I know I sound crazy. It’s a vicious cycle.

Logical angel on my shoulder says: Duh, you registered, so what did you expect? And people buy you presents because they want to. And you’ve registered for plenty of stuff that was under $30. And you’ve bought lots of wedding presents in your day.

Crazy guilt-inducing devil says: Greedy greedy greedy girl! They could be spending money on a vacation or contributing to their 401(k), not furnishing the PChipz kitchen.

I have guilt issues. I know this. What the heck is this all about? A general “I’m-not-worthy”ness? Does anyone else feel this (and how do I get rid of it)?

Tags: emotional, providence |

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28 Responses to “Reduced Guilt Potato Chips”

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Member

katiei (message) 54 posts, Worker bee

Yes! I actually felt SO guilty registering, because I was afraid people would think we were greedy (or whatever) because we registered for some not-exactly-cheap items.

I also add items to my ‘cart’ and then don’t buy them - I totally thought I was the only one that did that!

4/13/10 @ 5:00 pm (reply)

Member

fancypants (message) 493 posts, Helper bee

Anyone living on a grad school stipend deserves gifts

4/13/10 @ 5:06 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Hot Wings (message) 2,213 posts, Buzzing bee

alll the time. I also routinely internet shop and then close the browser. You deserve it. You’ll never get it again, so enjoy it. Try not to let the guilt ruin the pleasure

4/13/10 @ 5:08 pm (reply)

Member

mrsRtobe (message) 225 posts, Helper bee

I was also super surprised when people started buying (and sending!) us gifts. It never occurred to me that people would buy us the stuff on the list. I also share your guilt. My wedding shower was a guilt-fest, but the other day I was reading one of Meg’s favorite posts on a practical wedding and she compared buying gift as a barn raising- that your loved ones are helping you to build a home. For some reason that really helped the whole gift thing make more sense and took away a lot of guilt.

4/13/10 @ 5:10 pm (reply)

Member

Anchors (message) 249 posts, Helper bee

YES! I have a feeling I’ll be blogging about this when it happens too. IF it happens! See?! I just don’t think anyone will get us a gift!

4/13/10 @ 5:10 pm (reply)

Member

crayfish (message) 4,993 posts, Honey bee

When I was in grad school, I felt the same guilt cycle. Now that I have a real job, it gives me anxiety to buy brand name groceries or eat lunch out, because I was never, ever able to do that as a student. Slowly weaning myself off of the guilt trips though

4/13/10 @ 5:12 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Sox in the City (message) 285 posts, Helper bee

I just started registering and it’s really weird to pick out stuff for people to buy me…
Anyway, great Juno reference.

4/13/10 @ 5:15 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Trail Mix (message) 6,329 posts, Bee Keeper

Hahaha, I am obsessed with presents so no guilt here! I usually give pretty kick-ass ones so I’m always happy to be on the receiving end

4/13/10 @ 5:17 pm (reply)

Member

sulaii211 (message) 770 posts, Busy bee

If it helps- my bestest friend in the world is getting married- and it was my greatest joy to hop on the registry, pick the “free shipping” items and be the first to send them a gift.

Its not about spending money- it’s awesome that my friends are in love and starting out their life together…..

Don’t feel guilty girls!

4/13/10 @ 5:18 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Rocktsrgn (message) 494 posts, Helper bee

Argh. I totally know what you mean. We just received a $200 steak knife set. Did I put it on there? Yes. Did I mean for someone to actually BUY it for us?!!?! Not sure yet, but we’ve got some awesome steak knives in the meantime.

4/13/10 @ 5:36 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Nachos (message) 1,734 posts, Bumble bee

I totally felt guilty, like hey, I’m just getting married, you DON’T have to buy me things! But I do have to say it was fun putting stuff away after my shower.

4/13/10 @ 6:08 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

I know exactly what you mean on this! I’m the same way!

4/13/10 @ 6:18 pm (reply)

13.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

I felt guilty, but then rationalized that merely registering does not mean people are required to buy you anything. That doesn’t mean that I don’t secretly hope that some people buy us stuff.

4/13/10 @ 6:22 pm (reply)

14.

Member

fudge88 (message) 58 posts, Worker bee

I think you just have to remind yourself that if it was your friend or family member getting married, you would want to buy him or her a present as a sign of your love, affection, happiness, etc.

Giving gifts is not a purely selfless act - the giver gets something from it too!

4/13/10 @ 6:27 pm (reply)

15.

Guest

Liz

I felt the same way. We registered at two stores and our wedding is a bit out yet, so we have not had any gifts. We did however add the option of donating to a charity instead of gifts through the I do foundation. I think it lessens the guilt trip a little bit. =-)

4/13/10 @ 6:48 pm (reply)

16.

Member

estrella (message) 40 posts, Newbee

“I am a person who routinely adds items to online carts and then closes the whole page”

Haha, I do this ALL the time! I routinely fill up $200 shopping carts and then close the page.

4/13/10 @ 7:13 pm (reply)

17.

Member

mander411 (message) 735 posts, Busy bee

I don’t know if I would say I feel guilty. I spend hundreds each year buying friends and family members presents from their registry (either bridal or baby), so maybe that’s why. What goes around comes around

4/13/10 @ 7:31 pm (reply)

18.

Member

jenni.frances (message) 15 posts, Newbee

I totally understand the guilt! I didn’t even want to register because I didn’t want people to feel obligated to get us gifts. Alas, I caved to the tradition of registering because of the countless of relatives who said they WANTED to get us something. So I guess just remember that some people want to give - how delightful!

4/13/10 @ 7:33 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Miss Frozen Yogurt (message) 2,685 posts, Sugar bee

I totally feel guilty, especially when it’s my friends buying me gifts, especially friends in grad school because I know they have no money. I can’t give advice about how to get over it because I’m still trying to figure it out.

4/13/10 @ 7:37 pm (reply)

20.

Bee

Miss Lobster (message) 668 posts, Busy bee

I don’t like it when people spend their money on me but I know your guests and family are happy to help you set up your home! Then when they come over you can hand them a margarita and say, “here you go. I made this w/the blender you gave me, thank you!!”

4/13/10 @ 8:35 pm (reply)

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