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You know what they say: nothing is more relaxing on July 4th weekend than bringing your fiancé home to ask your parents for your hand in marriage.
Wait, no one says that.
Like many things in life, third time was a charm for my lovely Mr. Lobster when he asked my parents permission to marry me. As many of my stories go, nothing went as planned…
Attempt #1: Backyard with Dad
Being the neurotic stress case as I am, I planned Mr. L’s opportunity carefully. I would run errands for 1 hour and leave the boy behind with my sister for moral support. I was stressing but kept telling myself to relax because it’d all be done soon.
When it was time to come home, I walked into the house, my sister looked at me wide-eyed and shook her head an emphatic no, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.
I found Mr. Lobster in the backyard, straddling a ladder, sweating in the hot VA sun, and cleaning my parents’ gutters without my dad in sight. Mr. L asked my dad if he needed help and wanted to use this as a quiet opportunity to pop the question. But instead my dad said yes, and walked away to do something else.
Attempt #1 – FAILED because of yard work
Attempt #2 – Lunchtime
I didn’t have a Plan B. Lobster Boy decided to pull my dad aside before lunch to let him know he wanted to talk later. Still in the backyard, my dad approaches us and Lobster Boy shoos me away. Meanwhile my sister is bringing hot plates of noodles to the patio for lunch when …
Followed by “NO!!! THE NOODLES!!!”
Chaos ensues as my mom runs over with the vacuum cleaner screaming “NOBODY MOVE!!!!” Sister continues to stand there sad-faced (she really likes the noodles). Dad rushes over and Mr. Lobster stands there… still nothing asked.
Attempt #2 – FAILED because of noodles
Attempt #3 – Fireworks
If I didn’t have a Plan B, I definitely did not have a Plan C. After dinner, Mr. Lobster still hadn’t even mentioned to dad that he wanted to chat. I was stressing. When? When would it happen?
We watched fireworks together as a family. Afterwards, I went upstairs to take my shower and I made a face to Mr. Lobster saying “Don’t blow it. This is it.”
The rest of this recap is based on what I heard from my sisters who were in on the game.
Mr. Lobster to Dad: Hey Mr. FFIL*, do you have a moment to talk?
Dad: Sure, of course.
Sister: Oh, uh, should I get mom?
Mom enters room. Sister exits. Door closes. 20 minutes of muffled talking behind the door.
(*future father-in-law. I’m mad for all things abbreviated.)
I emerge from the shower, refreshed and hopeful. I walk downstairs and my sister waves her hand furiously saying “It’s happening right now!!!”
Oh thank goodness.
Door opens. Mr. L comes out and walks past. Mom comes out and walks past with a smile. Dad comes out sticks his head in the room and gives a HUGE smile and says “Let’s have dessert!”
A 4th of July Family Montage
Lobster Parents
Lobster Sisters
Me being dweeby. Mr. Lobster.
Now the proposal was set in motion. Oh, I could not wait at all! Next time…the proposal story.
Did your fiancé ask your parents’ permission? Did everything go as planned, or not at all?
Cute story! Mr TM called my parents but only my mom was home (dad was teaching a night class) so that’s who he asked, haha!
That’s pretty cute that he had to clean gutters!
But I don’t think it even occurred to Ribs. It’s never been important to me though so I didn’t care!
My hubby did not ask for permission, but I love your story! 
I wasn’t nervous like you were because I didn’t even know. My fiance asked my dad without my knowledge and my dad didn’t even tell my mom, since he didn’t think she would do well pretending. So the day he proposed, it was both a surprise to me and to my mom.
Glad everything turned out great, boys are cute when they are nervous!
My FI tried, but kept getting averted as well. He wanted to ask at my Bday dinner, but everyone and there mother came so it was overwhelming. Then he wanted to ask my Grandfather the next week, but my cousin came home from London. Poor guy! LOL! Finally he asked and the rest is history
My FI tried, but it was at my brother’s wedding and my dad was, well, he’d had a few drinks to celebrate. So FI asked and my dad’s reply was,
“If that’s what she wants!”
…
Not quite the response FI was hoping for but he took it as an ok to proceed. My dad did say later that he felt bad about that and he thinks FI is a good guy.
You should probably know that we already have a daughter, so my dad wasn’t really expecting it anyway.
hahah, cute story… yard work and noodles. glad it all worked out in the end!
i was on the phone with my mom at the exact moment my fiance chose to call my parents to ask permission. my mom said “hold on, i’m getting another call, oh wait, it’s robert!”
when she beeped over and robert realized she had told me he was calling, robert and my parents cooked up a story that robert’s car was making a funny noise and he was calling to ask my dad’s expertise. it was totally plausible, so i bought it, but worried for DAYS that he was driving in an unsafe vehicle! i gave him a really hard time about not going to a mechanic but he said that the noise had stopped so i had to believe him.
sigh. it was a close call, but a good cover-up!
My fiance asked the morning he was going to propose! He stopped at my house and talked to my dad in the garage. My dad said “that’s interesting news, let me go get pmerr’s mom” They both came back & he asked!
My FI and I were on vacation in Cancun last year when he woke me up with breakfast in bed before taking me to an island and proposing. I’m a really heavy sleeper, so he’d gotten up early and called each of my parents for their permission. I was surprised at his timing and that he thought to ask my parents too!
I know he asked, starting with my brother. But, I have no idea how the conversation with my dad went! I’ll have to ask
hehe, cute story! mr. sew would’ve asked me a month sooner but i never gave him a moment alone with my parents since i didn’t know what he was planning! when he finally did talk to my dad about marrying me, dad asked, “are you sure you wanna do that?” lol. 
I was at class and FI was *supposedly* at the fire station. Turns out he was at my house, asking my parents permission. Later, they told me that they literally had to MAKE him leave; he was so excited about proposing that he almost didn’t leave in time before I got back home. In fact, we apparently missed each other by about 5 minutes!
Such a cute story! My FI didn’t ask and when we told my parents my mom was all ‘but he didn’t ask your dad!’.
Lots of funny “asking the father” stories! I didn’t think it’d add so much stress to the process but I figured it didn’t hurt me or FI for him to ask. And my parents appreciated the gesture even though they knew it was coming
Mr. Library caught my normally sarcastic dad off-guard and totally got him to say yes in a couple of minutes! It was well thought-out on his part.
My fiance called my Dad the night before he was about to pop the question. We were living across country at the time so he had an easy out, except he didn’t know my parents phone number. After internet searching and several phone calls later, he finally got my Dad on the phone. The next day was my birthday and my parents didn’t even call to say happy birthday because they didnt want to blow it!
I love this story. When my FI started hinting that he wanted to get married I told him that he had to ask my parents (originally it was a deterrent b/c I wasn’t ready to get married and I knew he was too scared to ask my parents). But in the end he called up my parents the week before he proposed and ask. I love that he got over his fear of asking my parents just to make me happy :).
A few weeks before the proposal my guy gets a phone call at about 8:50 pm on a nasty wet night. “Who was that?” “It was Bill, his shed is falling over and he needs my help right now.” “WHAT!?!” “Yeah, you wanna go over with me?” “No way, Lost starts in 10 minutes!”
Little did I know, he was actually meeting my dad out at a local bar to ask his permission over a few beers. He planned to have Bill call right before Lost started so that I wouldn’t want to join him (Bill’s wife and I are friends).
Once I found out I realized that a shed falling over is totally unbelieveable, but they had been recently working on it and I didn’t give it much thought (Lost was starting!).
And, when my dad went home he told my stepmom that it wasn’t what they thought. He told her he wanted to talk to him because work was relocating him to Alaska and wanted to know how to handle it with me! So when I called home after the proposal everyone in house was super surprised! (except dad)
Mr. P asked my dad over the phone (because of the distance). He says that he was pretty nervous, but as soon as he asked my dad started making dowry jokes of the “how many goats do you want to take her off of my hands” variety. I am pretty sure that Mr. P was relaxed after that
My poor FH asked my parents for permission without me even knowing! (I knew about the ring.. just didn’t know when it would all happen)… He spent weeks anxiously planning out how he’d ask my parents for permission. On Christmas Eve, my brother called my parents and told them he was coming over with a guest. The mysterious “guest” was not a new significant other they thought it’d be, but it was my FH. After HOURS of grilling and lecturing, primarily from my Dad (which my brother found quite amusing!) My FH finally had their blessing LOL poor guy was sweating bullets… and he proposed to me that night after Midnight Mass 
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Mrs. Lobster, Brooklyn Age and Occupation: 29, Finance Girl Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Finance Boy Engagement Date: July 25, 2009 Wedding Date: August 2010 Venue: Stage 6 Steiner Studios About Me: I'm a New York-born, Virginia-bred girl who's found her way back to the big city. Mr. Lobster and I met in grad school and have been together ever since. I'm clueless about DIY but am an avid online shopper and love all things polka dots, stripes, and ruffles! When I'm not making wedding lists, you can find me looking for snacks, watching Gilmore Girls, or hanging out with Mr. Lobster and our new puppy Buddy! We are planning a fancy-pantsy Brooklyn wedding for a hot New York summer night which is sure to be a misadventure in the making.
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