Some Dreadful Disaster

Some Dreadful Disaster

April 14th, 2010 @ 3:51 pm by Mrs. Oyster
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Today I was visiting with my future in-laws, and my FMIL (whom I love, by the way; she is always telling funny stories) was recounting the days of planning my FSIL’s wedding, which was about 20 years ago now. It was a huge super-formal wedding, with all the requisite drama, and is the stuff of family legend.

While telling yet another story from this epic wedding, my FMIL says, “Don’t worry. On your wedding day, something will go wrong. It will be some dreadful disaster; just know that it will happen, but don’t worry, everything will be okay. Just focus on what matters most.”

I know people say this, but really? Don’t some brides, somewhere, have perfect wedding days? Or at least, days that seem perfect?

And of course, this gives me the chance to think about my wedding fears.

I have a bunch of them, from having kids mess up the wedding to vendors who, despite seeming reliable, suddenly choose not to show up or disappear entirely. Plus there are the logistics of getting 100+ people from different parts of the country to the wedding venue, and all the little steps of planning (what if I forget something?). It seems like every step of the way, there’s something to worry about.

At this, maybe I can apply one of my favorite quotes from President Obama. In response to something, some negotiation or another, he said, “I’m not going to anticipate problems.” I took this to mean that one should be aware of the things that could go wrong, try your best to stop trouble before it starts, and then go forward hoping for the best. I have applied this quote to many potentially stressful things in my life.

This seems like the best approach — after all, on the day of the wedding itself, all you can do is let go and do your best to live in the moment.

What are your wedding fears? Have you faced them yet?

*The photo above has nothing to do with anything, except that she’s a literal representation of a bride who’s got “too much going on.” From here.

Tags: dallas, emotional |

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16 Responses to “Some Dreadful Disaster”

Member

shaydenise (message) 1,151 posts, Bumble bee

That picture is hilarious! lol. And I have refused to have those fears - those are reserved for my wedding planner who I’m paying to be “fearful” for me lol. And I’m always up for a fabulous Obama quote so you get kudos from me on throwing that in the post! =)

4/14/10 @ 3:58 pm (reply)

Member

di5308 (message) 382 posts, Helper bee

great quote. that’s how I approach life and wedding planning, and it can really take the stress and anxiety out of a lot of things.

4/14/10 @ 4:13 pm (reply)

Member

Ms. E (message) 132 posts, Blushing bee

I only have one fear: the music goes horribly awry. We’re not having a DJ and having an iPod wedding scares me sometimes. I think this is mostly because I am letting my fiance deal with the music logistics. If I were doing it myself, I’d have a better grasp on all the things that could go wrong.

4/14/10 @ 4:14 pm (reply)

Member

FallFlowers (message) 258 posts, Helper bee

Before my wedding, I also heard the advice to be prepared for something to go wrong. I definitely wouldn’t word it as “dreadful disaster” but something’s likely to not go as planned. But, here’s the thing… if whatever happens is met with a sense of humor and handled appropriately by your team of helpers, it’s the things that go wrong that create funny memories for the futures.

Here’s our two goof-ups:
1. My DH goofed up during his vows (i.e. repeated something from the minister that was instructions instead of what he was supposed to be repeated). It actually was great because everone laughed and it broke up the tension a bit.

2. My mom drove me to the wedding in my car because I was wearing my veil. I asked her to turn on the lights because it was sprinkling. She was hesitant to because she thought she’d forget to turn them off. Sure enough, after we were done with pictures and ready to drive to the reception, the battery was did. But, the photographer got some priceless pictures of my DH jumpstarting the car in his tux!

4/14/10 @ 4:19 pm (reply)

Member

ErinMarieMack (message) 728 posts, Busy bee

We had a few minor snafus-the DJ didn’t really play many songs from the playlist we put together and I didn’t love the food the way I had at the tasting, but really, when it came down to it I would say (and many of the guests commented that) we had a perfect day! You’ll be so happy and will be feeling the love of your new husband and family/friends that it’s likely you won’t even notice!

4/14/10 @ 4:45 pm (reply)

Guest

Amber

On our wedding day my mom’s dog pee’d on my hubby’s suit jacket. His light Khaki suit jacket.

4/14/10 @ 5:08 pm (reply)

Member

alivoo01 (message) 2,622 posts, Sugar bee

Since we don’t have DOC, I’m afraid our timing will be off to start the ceremony, take pictures, etc. or I’ll forget something uberly important at home. Le sigh…

4/14/10 @ 5:18 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Nachos (message) 1,733 posts, Bumble bee

I refuse to worry about anything going wrong - if it happens, it happens! My goal of the day is to walk away from it married to Mr. N…the little details to me aren’t all that important provided we get to say I do!

4/14/10 @ 5:20 pm (reply)

Member

nick-ster (message) 29 posts, Newbee

I’ve decided to not overplan everything. Short sweet ceremony followed by a big party. If the food doesn’t show we’ll order pizza. I’m sure little things won’t go as planned but the more simple the less to go wrong. That’s my opinion, haven’t actually gone through my own wedding yet but that seems to be my friends’ general thoughts.

4/14/10 @ 6:08 pm (reply)

10.

Member

jordynrose (message) 6,351 posts, Bee Keeper

Your wedding is not going to have a “dreadful disaster.” Your FMIL’s message is right, but the word choice is terrible. Things might not go perfectly, but so long as you roll with it you will have a fabulous day!

4/14/10 @ 6:09 pm (reply)

11.

Member

tea (message) 7,288 posts, Bee Keeper

i think it’s important to remember that something might happen but not to freak out over it. though i don’t think i’ve attended a wedding that’s gone without a single snag somewhere

4/14/10 @ 9:03 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

It shames me to admit that I ‘made’ something go wrong at the wedding…I had a full freak out over my nails… I had a beautiful pinkish pearl color and at the last minute my MIL requested I had them RED…yes, RED. I couldn’t get the red nails to look polished and I had ruined my pearly pink…I was so stressed.

this is obviously no disaster but there will be little moments like that and the important thing is to let them go.

Our wedding WAS perfect.

4/15/10 @ 2:24 am (reply)

13.

Member

thebriz (message) 448 posts, Helper bee

Aside from the usual - vendors being on time, family being on time for pictures, etc., my only major hang up or potential for disaster will be if some annoying member of his family says or asks me anything totally out of line. While I want to be above pettiness, I’m me and so a snide comment will come out. But should something like this happen, I don’t want it to dampen the day.

4/15/10 @ 10:49 am (reply)

14.

Member

RecessionistaBride (message) 5,018 posts, Bee Keeper

My wedding fear: That my guests find my wedding boring. We aren’t going to have dancing… and it’s just going to be an intimate dinner with our closest friends & family. I wanted an intimate event with great food in a beautiful location… but most people are used to full blown parties. Ahh.

4/15/10 @ 12:06 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Miss Giraffe (message) 4,216 posts, Honey bee

That picture is too funny!

4/15/10 @ 8:54 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Adriana26 (message) 348 posts, Helper bee

My wedding day ran smoothly, no problems at all. No use worrying about it though! Use your energy for positive things rather than something so far in the future and so far out of your control (for now).

4/21/10 @ 6:48 am (reply)