An Open Letter to My Best Friend on Her Wedding Week


Hi, Sweets ”“

With five days to go until your big day, I wanted to take a moment to share my love, give you whatever advice I can think of, and tell you what it’s like from this side of the aisle, so to speak.

First, let’s talk about this “big day” thing.

Your wedding day is all at once a Very Big Day and Just The Beginning ”“ we know this. Despite my, ahem, previous experience, I found that my wedding day was both much more and much less than I expected: I was much, much, MUCH more overwhelmed by the love of my people and much less stressed or panicked or freaked about the stuff. Sure, I had to take a few moments to gather myself, but that’s just me. Our wedding day was wonderful, but looking back from my almost-anniversary, I can say with complete honesty: it was just the beginning.

The next year will be one of the most exhilarating and frustrating of your life, rife with questioning, cursing, and thanking the universe for this choice you made. In a year, you’ll look back and see your wedding day as a fantastic bon voyage, and that’s the way it should be.


You know I love you. You know I’ve found in you a soul-soul matesoul mate (and yes, I’m using that silly word because it’s appropriate here in a way I never thought it appropriate to describe my relationship with my husband). We’re so different, you and I, yet so deeply connected that it doesn’t matter that we have very little history in common. We don’t need it. I value your feedback over almost anyone else’s, a shocking revelation when you consider I’ve known everyone else whom I trust for most of my life, and you only three years.

But this isn’t supposed to be about me. It’s about you (and I could not love you anymore than I do, but this face makes me reconsider the idea ”“ I love this face).


So I’ll say the thing I always say when I have to describe how much you mean to me: until I met you, I didn’t realize the power and necessity of female friendship. You have a way of making people feel safe and understood; the ability to be honest and upfront yet supportive; a willingness to lay it all out ”“ to anyone on anything ”“ that continues to inspire those of us lucky enough to be your friend. You inspire me just by being yourself. I love you.

And I love you who you are with him. I love the way you fit ”” even in maddening ways that drive each of you nuts. I love that you balance his freneticness while he gives you focus. I love that you each push each other to be committed, to grow, to be just a little bit more yourselves but in the context of a partnership. He makes you laugh; you make him settled. Through the craziness of your relationship, I have never really doubted that you would end up together, and I’m so glad my intuition played out.

Of course, given how similar your husband and I are, it’s a bit self-serving to tell you you’re perfect together. (But I will!)

My advice for this week: feel every moment, wonderful or otherwise. When someone says something that makes you want to throw something, think, “This is my life!” When you’re surprised or overwhelmed or so happy you can’t smile any wider, think, “This is my life.” When you take that man’s hand and declare your loyalty and commitment in front of your people, think, “THIS IS MY LIFE.”


It’s strange to be on this side of the whole getting married thing. A year ago I was frantic with stress over all the little things I didn’t do. You calmed me down and helped me get through. Our wedding day was fantastic because my #1 coping mechanism was to send people to you, in fact. I knew without a doubt that you would take care of me. So this time, when it’s your wedding day, remember to lean on your people. Remember that we all want to help because you’ve helped all of us, at some point, some time. Let us take care of you, if only for a day, mkay? {And congrats on creating a shindig that is so you two, it’s awesome!}

Enjoy yourself, laugh, and take every moment for what they create: the beginning of this next part of your life.

My wish for you is this: may you find ”“ in him and your marriage ”“ the calm you’ve been seeking without the boundaries you’ve feared. May you never take for granted the fantasticness of new beginnings or wonderfulness of old understandings. May you find in each other the reason to be better at being yourselves. And may you love each other ”” even when you don’t like each other.

With all my love,



Mrs. Cheese

Wedding Date:
May 2014

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  1. Member
    Mrs. Hermit Crab 3901 posts, Honey bee @ 1:03 pm

    this is a beautiful message, thank you for sharing and all the best of to your friend!

  2. Member
    Serendipity 10356 posts, Sugar Beekeeper @ 1:12 pm

    Love to see you around Cheese! And what a great letter, your friend is going to LOVE it!

  3. Member
    elephant 6339 posts, Bee Keeper @ 1:24 pm

    Such a beautiful message!

  4. Member
    tea 2406 posts, Buzzing bee @ 2:07 pm

    aww cheese, what a beautifully written note to your friend and all of us.

  5. Member
    cheese 801 posts, Busy bee @ 3:37 pm

    @jgoulart: I did that too! In that picture of her reading a card while I look on, she was reading a similar kind of letter that I wrote to all of my special people and gave to them the day we got married. ‘Twas worth the cramps in my writing hand from all those mushy words!

  6. Member
    gigiram77 63 posts, Worker bee @ 3:59 pm

    I have to admit, Mrs. Cheese. I love reading your posts. They hit close to home and I truly appreciate your honesty, warmth, and sincerity. Now, I’m going to stalk your older posts since I missed all the earlier ones! I joined fairly recently and have 6 months to go for my own wedding adventure.

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    Miss Chicken Wing 1225 posts, Bumble bee @ 4:32 pm

    Awww, Cheese, you are awesome, and you are a great friend!!!! I hope your BFF’s day is as amazing as your was, and I wish you both all the happiness in the world!!!

  10. Member
    alishaneva 2152 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:45 pm

    Mrs. Cheese – you always touch my soul! I love it! Hope your friend’s day and marriage is as beautiful as this letter!

  11. Member
    jordynrose 6351 posts, Bee Keeper @ 7:57 pm

    I love your writing Mrs. Cheese! You truly are an inspiration!

  12. Member
    lobster 668 posts, Busy bee @ 8:13 pm

    I teared up. This is a really sweet letter.

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    travelista 62 posts, Worker bee @ 10:52 pm

    Really, beautifully written. Your best friend is very lucky to have you!

  15. Member
    krissybee 3921 posts, Honey bee @ 12:48 pm

    awww Cheese!! love love love when you are in the WB neighborhood!

  16. Member
    msbuttons 5014 posts, Bee Keeper @ 4:42 pm

    Good gracious Cheese, you are such an incredibly talented writer. What a beautiful letter :)

  17. Member
    LatteLove 5567 posts, Bee Keeper @ 11:28 am

    oh to have a friend like you!

  18. Member
    jaybird12 315 posts, Helper bee @ 11:57 pm

    Beautiful and eloquent as always, Cheese. Every time I see that cheese icon, I get so excited! I love reading your posts; you are by far one of my favorite bees! You always have such great advice and such a candid style of writing. Thanks Cheese!

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    best french food in australia, Guest @ 10:40 pm

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