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I was filling out my band’s music request form today, and I came to the section titled “Bouquet and Garter” toss. I then realized - I have absolutely no idea if I want to partake in this tradition or not.
Of course if I don’t, I miss out on awesome pictures like this:
Bouquet Victory! from Mrs. Cherry Pie’s Wedding
I have several arguments both for and against the toss:
Say Yes to the Toss:
Toss that Toss:
I’ve already decided that if we do the toss, we will add either some cold hard cash or a gift card to the bouquet and garter, to make the toss more enticing. And you know that whole “garter guy puts garter on bouquet girl” thing? Nuh-uh. I have too many cousins and I want to avoid any truly cringe-worthy situations. But we do need to finalize our music submissions this week—so now I turn to you, Hive.
Comments from both the Yay and Nay camps encouraged! Please share!
I’m going for it! And I’m having my florist make a toss bouquet out of the “scraps” from our other floral arrangements - they agreed to do it for a whopping $15!
Being a little bit older bride (34) I only have a few single girlfriends left and only 3 of them are coming to our wedding - there is no way I am singling them out! It would just be awkward, so no tossing for us!
I’ve been at weddings where the bride through one of the bridesmaid’s bouquets instead of her bouquet so she didn’t have to pay for an extra toss bouquet. It worked out fine that way.
Absolutely not. I actually really want to do the bouquet toss, but there are only like 2 or 3 single girls coming to the wedding! Seriously! And they’re in their late 20’s so I don’t think they would be into the whole bouquet tossing thing. That was a disappointment for me. But I personally don’t like the idea of a garter toss, especially since our elderly relatives and boss’s are invited..
We decided to scrap both of these for a two primary reasons:
(1) We are y’alls age and have a lot of friends that are already in relationships/are married with only a few girlfriends that are (mostly happily) single… and over 30. I would feel horrible if they felt the need or were forced on the dance floor with my teenage cousins trying to vie for a bouquet. totally awkward.
(2) All the garter tosses I’ve ever seen are super awkward. I mean, yes we are getting married and all, but I still don’t need my parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles seeing my new husband reach up my dress. more awkwardness.
We’re skipping it. My girlfriends HATE the tradition (they don’t care to be singled out as Single with a capital “S”). And although my fiance has been quite involved with the planning considering he lives 6,000 miles away from me, one of his only unsolicited wedding input was, “Can we NOT do the garter toss thing?”
It’s totally a personal choice, and up to you. But make sure you know your audience before you decide to go for it!
I’m leaning toward doing a toss where all the women (single or not) are invited to participate. There are different ways to make it meaningful (instead of meaning that the catcher will be the next one married). I like the idea of doing several breakaway bouquets with charms attached (and maybe a scratch-off lotto ticket).
I have only ever been to one wedding where they didn’t do the tosses, so it was a no brainer for us to do it. Plus I wanted to make a pretty garter. We have lots of single guys coming, but only a few single girls. Oh well, I want the pictures!
We’ve gone around on that exact same question!!
My fiance really wants to do a garter toss, so then we’re obligated to do a bouquet toss. I wanted to do an anniversary dance. So, we’re going to compromise and do all three.
To avoid singling out the singles (and there aren’t many in our group anyway), we, too, are thinking of adding a prize to it so all can participate.
Instead of having a floral toss bouquet, we’re going to use silks or paper-also less likely to disintegrate when caught (flashback to a fall wedding I caught the bouquet at where the mums exploded on impact).
I hope that helps! Good luck, thanks for the post! It’s nice to know we all have some of the same concerns! =)
I’m on fence about this too. I always made a bee line for the restroom when it looked like the bouquet toss was coming. Did I really want to stand out there with only a few people over the age of 12?
My sister and college roommate both opted to do something different with their bouquet and garter. The DJ asked all the married couple to dance. Through about three songs, he’d have people slowly sit down by the number of years they’d been married (5, 10, 20, 30…). Eventually, the longest married couple was left, and they received the bouquet and garter.
Not for us! The guy and I both agree it is totally awkward.
We were not going to partake in either but my florist provided a complimentary “toss bouquet” so we only did the bouquet toss and not the garter. It worked out really well and even though we only had a few single ladies, some hitched girls jumped in on it too! We got some great pics which made it totally worth it!
BTW- we used Beyonce’s Single Ladies as the song 
Nope most of our single female guests would not be down for it as they are in their late 20s - plus I just kind of hate the whole idea of it.
If we had a bunch of young girls coming though I’d probably do it for them.
We will probably do the bouquet toss but not the garter toss. I am one of the first of my friends to be married and I think the single ladies will really get competitive with the bouquet:)
Garter toss, not so much. There is no classy way to retrieve said accessory, and I think he would just die in general. Although the pictures of him red-faced might be worth it.
We’re skipping the tosses. While I do have single friends, I know some of them don’t like the tradition and don’t like to be singled out. While I never really cared about being labeled single at prior weddings, it was awkward that people instantly began yelling at you to get up and participate.
The other reason is purely selfish. I am typically uncomfortable in front of crowds and am already nervous about being the center of attention. While I think I’ll be ok during the ceremony, the first dance and cake cutting are enough of a stress for me as it is without adding another element. Plus I’m seriously a spaz when I’m nervous and I have visions of me throwing the bouqet too far. 
I think we’re going to add the anniversary dance though.
I was against the bouquet toss when I thought we’d only have barely a few unmarried women at the reception and that only one or two of them would think it was fun. I didn’t want to put people through it if they’d be groaning and dragging their feet. At some point, though, I looked at the guest list and counted up 10+ unmarried women, several of whom get a kick out of feisty activities like this, and realized it was going to be a lot of fun and also, as you said, a great photo op. It helps that the most recent wedding in our group of friends included a hilarious bouquet toss, complete with Facebook-worthy video that we still laugh at.
We’re doing a separate toss bouquet, though I wouldn’t mind tossing my own bouquet since I have to give it up anyway when I leave for Tahiti the next morning.
The garter toss is a no. Sorry, no way.
I did not do a garter toss. I was vehemently against it.
I tried to do a co-ed bouquet toss with lottery tickets attached to make it more of a lucky bouquet thing than anything else, and it would have been for everyone: single, married, widowed, everyone…but no one really got the message apparently and the only people who went up were the single ladies. Which made the choice of the “Money” song, kind of random, but whatever.
If I had it to do over I would have skipped it and discreetly handed my bouquet to my aunt who lost her husband a couple of years ago with a nice note about how much I appreciate her.
We didn’t do it because we had about 3 single ladies (not including the kids) and I did not want to single them out and make them feel uncomfortable. But if I had more, I would have reconsidered.
I’m planning to do one, but with EVERYONE invited to try to catch the bouquet “for luck.” When I researched the origins of the bouquet toss, a recurring theme was that it came from a belief that the bride was lucky on her wedding day, and people would try to grab a scrap of her dress as a good luck charm, so throwing the bouquet and/or garter was a way to try to appease/distract them. Not sure how the luck came to be defined as being the next one to wed, but I like the idea of going back to just for luck. So, male or female, married or single, doesn’t matter - I figure anyone can use some luck. Probably FH & I will throw it together. Or I might be so busy having fun or decide to keep my bouquet and scrap it all together. But I like throwing things at people
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Mrs. Hamster, New York City Age and Occupation: 28, Finance Gal Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Finance Guy Engagement Date: March 9, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: The Pierre Hotel About Me: I'm an original Jersey girl living it up in the big NYC! I love baking for others, hosting brunches, and exploring NYC with my mans. Besides Mr. Hamster (of course), I'm attracted to shiny things, bold colors, snacks, matching and coordination, pork and duck fats, miniature versions of things, corny jokes and puns. We are planning a swanky Spring wedding in the heart of NYC, followed by a second reception in Singapore. From one city that never sleeps to another - I can't imagine a more exciting ride!
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