Weddingbee Blog

I have learned two things when creating our guest list and receiving RSVPs: Not everyone will remember to return the RSVP, and flexibility counts.

Mr. Pencils and I were aiming for a wedding of about 125-130 guests. Not too big and not too small. When we sat down to create the initial invite list in the summer of 2009, we came up with around 180 names. With the traditional 75% “yes” rate, that’d give us about the number we were looking for.

Then we both started new jobs. And our moms remembered some people. And we each added a few friends that had slipped our minds. And we got to know our awesome neighbors. And then we had a guest list of…

215. Two hundred fifteen people. 75% of that? 161 people. My parents had budgeted and saved money for 130 people at our wedding site–food, alcohol, dancing, fun for 130 people. We freaked.

We couldn’t imagine removing anyone however, and invited them all. As the RSVPs rolled in, it was huge sense of regret and small sigh of relief when we saw a “no”. We wanted everyone there, but also knew that a large majority of our guests from Idaho might not be able to make it—which is why we included the Idaho reception info in the invitation itself.

When the RSVP deadline arrived, we were about 30 RSVPs short. Pencils’ tip? Create a “fake RSVP” in your guest list document/excel sheet like I did. Our beautiful grandmothers’ did not send a return, nor did a smattering of co-workers and other family members. We had to call these people to get their answer, and here’s where ended up.

• Number of Invitees: 215 people
• Number of invitations sent out: 120
• Number of RSVPs physically received: 92
• Number of YES: 126
• Number of NO: 91
• Add in Mr. P and me, and our two photographers—

Total Guest Count: 130

130 on the nose. It was too good to be true. We submitted the final head count to our reception site/caterer and counted our luck to hit the number we exactly wanted.

Then, I learned the art of flexibility. Three of my family from Louisiana called with a health emergency, and one of them won’t be joining us. Then two of my gorgeous bridesmaids decided to fly solo, and we had two more empty seats. They both made sure it wouldn’t cause a huge deal in the seating arrangements—and it won’t—but they both went out of their way to make sure.

I was a bit worried about my parents’ reaction, but what was my mom’s answer when I called to break the news to her?

“Honey, it’s fine. We might have some people not show up, but it’s your wedding day. In the end, that’s all that matters. We’re fine and it’s better to have more food than too little!”

I have rarely felt so lucky to be surrounded by people who so care about my stress level. My biggest tip? Flexibility is key when it comes to guest list planning.

Anyone else have some guest list last minute changes?