Wedding Planning Sucks

Dear Hive,

Up until now, wedding planning has been all sunshine and rainbows. THEN the 4 month countdown hit and I’m starting to have heart palpitations. My to do list doesn’t have any high importance things anymore (venue, dress, etc.) but I do have time sensitive things (officiant, honeymoon, e-shoot, etc.). These are the things that are causing me to have *almost* meltdowns because I’ve been so busy with non-wedding things.

I started to feel the tears today when I emailed my photographer to ask about dates for the engagement shoot in May. I had a inkling they’d be busy but the response was, “we’re entering our busy season and the first date we have is in mid-July.”

July?!?!?!?!?!!? That’s 3 months away and officially puts my “spring engagement shoot” out of commission and is now a “hot summer day in July shoot” which makes me want to cry because I know Mr. Lobster will be so cranky from wearing anything man-cute. I can’t have his e-shoot outfit a tank top and cut-off shorts. I just can’t. (Haha, honestly, he’d never wear that even if it was 100F outside.)

Xoxo,
Debbie “Wah Wah” Downer

P.S. I know, it’s not the end of the world. I know the most important thing is that Mr. Lobster and I love each other and get married blah blah blah. :)

Is the novelty of wedding planning wearing off for you, too? How are you dealing with the madness?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Lobster

Location:
Brooklyn
Wedding Date:
August 2010

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  1. Member
    snow 875 posts, Busy bee @ 8:35 am

    Yesterday was the first time I said to Mr. Snow, “On *day after wedding*, it’ll all be over” and felt relieved.

    I’m hoping I get another wave of wedding excitement after the semester ends, but right now…I’m a little over it all.

  2. Member
    Jessie516 5480 posts, Bee Keeper @ 8:41 am

    Ugh, that’s too bad that the timing didn’t work out the way you were hoping. I definitely got to a place in my planning where I was just kind of “over it”. Once all the big details were done and it was just little stuff, I started to get a little frustrated. Eventually, once we got closer I started to get a little more motivated.

  3. Member
    thimble 857 posts, Busy bee @ 8:42 am

    I’m in the same boat. Life has been getting in the way and now I’m freaking out a bit. But A. Debbie Downer is hilarious. B. My BM told me in her experience shit will hit the fan about now, but before it gets to the big day it’ll get a lot more fun again. C. July in NY ain’t pretty, but summer dresses are super cute, and is Mr. L into linen suits?
    Hang in there!

  4. Member
    misspug 3668 posts, Sugar bee @ 8:47 am

    what a bummer about the engagement shoot timing! but you know, you could always do it early in the morning and it’ll still feel like spring! but definitely at a certain point i realized that i needed to start actually moving on certain things rather than daydreaming about them, which i had done for so long. it’s okay, it’s an exciting time, it just shows that your wedding is getting closer, which is a great thing!

  5. Member
    dachshund 689 posts, Busy bee @ 8:47 am

    Those feelings started at about the same time for me, though I still feel like I have just as much to do now as I did then. I’m at month 0 (just under 30 days!!) and my to do list is super long, but I’m feeling a little less stressed. Everything is starting to come together, and I’m seeing an end to everything. Hang in there, everything will work out!

    I’m sorry about your engagement shoot! Use it as an opportunity to make your E-pictures more unique! Find a cute ice cream shoppe or something… you could even take some in-water photos ala Miss Dolphin : )

    Chin up! Everything is going to turn out wonderfully!

  6. Member
    badgerbee 19 posts, Newbee @ 8:52 am

    is it possible to do the shoot during the week? our photographers are completely booked for weekends, but they are still doing e-shoots and family shoots during the week! or is your photog completely booked, weekdays and all?

  7. Member
    MissMichele 134 posts, Blushing bee @ 9:12 am

    I’m starting to get to the point where when something else goes wrong, I get so frustrated, and just want to cancel all our bookings and go to Vegas. I totally feel your pain.

  8. Member
    dancergmu3 289 posts, Helper bee @ 9:12 am

    I have been stressing too. I have a little over 60 days and lately my FI and I have been arguing over everything. I hope it’s just the anxiousness. Goodl uck with everything and just keep your spirits up!

  9. Member
    sunnydebs 785 posts, Busy bee @ 9:13 am

    Can you see if you can do your engagement shoot on a weekday? We did ours at sunrise on a Thursday and then went to work after. :-P

  10. Member
    Champagne Wishes 1187 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:21 am

    It gets better! We are 26 days out and besides the LOADS of family drama, everything else is really in place. But I think it was because of the 3 month crunch.

  11. Member
    fromcharleston 651 posts, Busy bee @ 9:31 am

    what if you do the shoot on a weekday or holiday? memorial day anyone? weeknight?

  12. Member
    lobster 668 posts, Busy bee @ 9:41 am

    Thanks everyone! It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who feels like this. The shoot is on a Wednesday since my photog only does e-shoots on weekdays so including those they were pretty booked till July (a testament to how great they are I hope!!). Thank you for your ideas! I am considering many of them already :)

    @sunnydebs: @Mrs. Pug: great idea! I hadn’t thought about doing it early in the morning! Definitely will ask Mr. L about that.
    @Miss Snow: Yes the first day after, I’ll be so relieved. I said to Mr. L “after the wedding it’s back to sweatpants and tshirts. sorry.”
    @Miss Dachshund: mm, ice cream. another good idea! We do love our ice cream. The water photos would be great…if the Hudson River wasn’t so gross, lol.

  13. Member
    cjp454 72 posts, Worker bee @ 10:07 am

    Sorry to hear the bad news! Can you ask to be called in the case that someone cancels their shoot in the weeks/months ahead?

  14. Member
    alivoo01 2625 posts, Sugar bee @ 10:13 am

    Looks like all the suggestions are covered as I was going to suggest a weekday in the late afternoon (an hour prior to sunset) for that romantic picture feel? That’s when we did ours, and the pix turned out great!! And I’m definitely feeling the stress of wedding planning as well as wedding deadline is RAPIDLY approaching!

  15. Member
    frozen yogurt 2600 posts, Sugar bee @ 10:18 am

    Here’s my suggestion, what if you do a mini session with a budding photographer so that you can still have your dreamed about spring shoot, and then your summer shoot too? I think it’s so worth it!

  16. Member
    JanieLeigh 581 posts, Busy bee @ 10:32 am

    TOTALLY! i’m getting married in less than a month, and i’m over it all. wedding planning was so fun 6 months ago, but now i just want to hide in a corner and cry. may 23rd could not come soon enough!

  17. Member
    rachelm1083 241 posts, Helper bee @ 11:14 am

    I know EXACTLY how you feel. 5 months seems like you have all the time you need, then when you hit the 4 month mark, all of a sudden there’s a ton of tedious, detail-oriented tasks that need to be accomplished, with no end in sight! How does 1 month make such a difference?? I’m in August right there with you! AHHHH!!

  18. Member
    hamster 4047 posts, Honey bee @ 11:55 am

    Boo :( I hate when stuff like that happens. I hope everything works out and I’m sure your summer e-pics will still look really cute!

  19. Member
    msjellyfish 1453 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:53 pm

    Amen, sister. I’ve hit this point more than once. It’s crazy how at one point it seemed like I had all the time in the world, and now we only have 4 months and 1 week to go and I’m starting to feel frazzled!! It helped me to create a month-by-month To Do list in Google Docs and do over it with Mr. Jelly. I hope you feel better! Maybe having the e-pics in early morning would give you a more spring-like effect?

  20. Member
    krissybee 3921 posts, Honey bee @ 1:54 pm

    ahh bummer. i’m not at that point yet but i bet i will be. i’m started to stress out and the planning has just begun!

  21. Guest Icon Guest
    FutureRicioli, Guest @ 2:12 pm

    Not sure how tight your budget is, but is there another photographer that you’d considered but ultimately decided against? Maybe one that you liked, but didn’t have quite the experience you were looking for to entrust your whole wedding to? Maybe they would be willing to do just an e-shoot for you and would have a little more availability? I LOVE our photographer but there are several others that I’d liked and considered, too. One does couples portrait sessions for only $150.. I’m considering doing a second e-shoot with her just for the hell of it since it’s pretty affordable and we’d have that many more shots to chose from when putting together our invites and other decor items.

  22. Member
    cola 2827 posts, Sugar bee @ 4:17 pm

    Awwww, big HUGS! So sorry you’re feeling stressed and down, but hopefully it will all come together somehow for you!

  23. Member
    jordynrose 6351 posts, Bee Keeper @ 4:51 pm

    Sad face. Maybe you can shoot mostly indoors to cope with the heat?

  24. Guest Icon Guest
    Liz Coopersmith, Guest @ 5:24 pm

    I have ONE more suggestion. Will there be two photographers at your wedding or only one? If there are two (most photogs bring a second shooter), would it be possible to check if THEY’RE available to shoot you this month? Two birds with one stone – get to know the second shooter, get your e-pics. As far as being over your wedding, you know, as a wedding coordinator, my first instinct is to say, get a wedding coordinator that will nail down the details for the last few weeks and your day-of. In lieu of that (I can feel the eye rolls from here), set a day in the next few days to sit down with a calendar and FORCE yourself to decide what needs to get done AND WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO DO IT. It’ll take an hour, and it will make you feel better because you’ll know when everything is going to be taken care of. It’s gonna be all right, I promise.

  25. Member
    tweds 448 posts, Helper bee @ 7:30 pm

    5 months to go and life is definitely starting to get in the way of the flowers and tastings. Can I just get to the awesome party? Le sigh. Totally feeling you.

  26. Member
    mrspaetz 3812 posts, Honey bee @ 3:13 am

    epix shoot in July when yr wedding is in August?! Surely your photog can work you in somehow?!

  27. Member
    ccranetobe 3770 posts, Honey bee @ 3:29 am

    That sucks. I understand about the wedding planning sucks bit. With nearly only 3 months to go… I feel a little outta control somedays with my lists and doing things! but other days im like thats all good.

    The coin flips so often.

    Glad Im not the only one.

  28. Guest Icon Guest
    The “I Just Threw This Together” but Really I Spent Months Planning Engagement Shoot Outfit | Weddingbee, Guest @ 9:43 am

    [...] I have nothing to wear (for our engagement shoot). Imagine a springtime hot summer setting on a tree-lined, cobblestone street with old New York buildings in the background. Mr. [...]

  29. Member
    cnuptain 330 posts, Helper bee @ 9:01 pm

    I was actually just thinking about this today…how when we got engaged, everything was amazing and I was floating on clouds. Now I think I’ve decended to the turbulent zone because it’s a little bit of trudgery right now. Hopefully I’ll head back for the clouds ASAP!

  30. Member
    lobster 668 posts, Busy bee @ 9:35 am

    @Mrs. Frozen Yogurt: @FutureRicioli: @Liz Coopersmith: Thank you for your ideas! I already paid for my e-shoot with my primary photographer but now I might consider doing something quicker with another photog or friend.
    @ColorCoated: yes! I saw that dress at anthro too and now is part of my e-shoot options :)

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