Weddingbee Blog

Question: What can go from calm to crazy in less than sixty seconds?

Answer: A Sewing who just had her toilet bowl of planning flushed unceremoniously down the drain.

It started with a rubber kickball. At the feet of some random kid, it flew up to the ceiling of a certain gymnasium, cracking a tile.

And now our second reception venue is no longer free. And that being the last of several triggers, our at-home party has morphed from a fifty-person, laid-back, picture-perusing, pizza-eating, pinata-poking afternoon of fun—into a two-hundred-fifty person, full-on traditional Chinese wedding banquet.

Whoa. How did that happen? Your guess is as good as mine.

All I know is that now, as Sewing-Mom happily puts it, “I get to have TWO weddings!”

Yes. Two weddings. With another set of wedding invitations. With another round of guests I don’t really know. With another set of decorations to consider. With another needed budget.

I’m still balking over the idea, honestly. Mostly about the budget part. Although Mr. Sew and I can probably afford it, we did not plan this out beforehand. But I can see what’s happening.

You see, choosing to have a destination wedding (even if it’s only a half-destination!) is inevitably going to upset someone that cannot come. That’s just how it is. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the grumpy words, “why can’t you just have your wedding here?” And as frustrating as it is to hear displeasure at one’s well-thought plans, I understand. It upsets me just as much that those guests can’t be there. So this at-home party - it has to be big and grand so that no one feels like they missed out on the whole Hawaii-thing. It has to be just as important, because the people that couldn’t be there are just as important.

Is this perhaps flawed reasoning? Of course. Am I upset that my family members care more about this banquet than they do of my actual wedding? Of course. Is there no way in heck I want to worry about DIY decorations and response cards right after coming back from our honeymoon? Of course. Is Mr. Sew completely livid at the idea of not being able to revert to our former, less-stressful lifestyle upon our return? Of course.

But Mr. Sew and I talked it out, and we came to the agreement that we can, and should, do this - if for no one else than for my grandmother, who has supported us through this entire planning process. She even gifted us our sewing machine, which has become an integral, iconic, and well-cherished member of our daily lives. It pains me that she cannot come to Hawaii - so if a big, family reunion is what she’d prefer, then by all means, she will have it.

I guess this just serves as a reminder that I need to keep my mind open, and my plans (somewhat) flexible. You never know when an errant inflatable ball will smack you upside the head and send you back to square one. That people are actually looking forward to partying with us upon our return is cause for my sincere gratitude, in any case. And luckily, the banquet idea is slowly starting to grow on me. I love Chinese food. Mmm.

So now I just need to find a San Jose Chinese banquet restaurant for 250 or more, sometime in the month of October. Any ideas?

Have you had any of our wedding plans turned completely on end? How did you react?