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Mrs. Frog, Phoenix, AZ/Chelan, WA Age and Occupation: 29, Public Relations Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Online Sales Engagement Date: February 8, 2009 Wedding Date: July 2010 Venue: Amy's Manor About Me: I'm an opinionated Midwestern girl now living in the Valley of the Sun marrying a laid back Northwestern guy. I'm equal parts sass, silly and sweet. I'm fiercely loyal with a strong devotion to my family and friends. I have a not-so-secret obsession with apple juice, a new obsession with DIY projects and I love a really good cheese plate...with lots of wine. After 7 blissful years of dating, I'm having the time of my life planning the destination wedding of my dreams to my Mr. Frog-turned-Prince Charming.
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It’s All About Give and Take

May 17th, 2010 @ 12:28 pm by Mrs. Frog

What would wedding planning be without some twists and turns? Like every couple, the Frogs have experienced their fair share during the planning process.

It's All About Give and Take :  wedding phoenix relationships 1 1

(source) Twists and turns…get it? I crack myself up.

When Frogger and I first got engaged, one of the things I wanted most for our wedding was to write our own vows. The idea of hearing him pour out his heart and share his feelings for me during a time when we pledge to spend our lives together – it just makes me sigh and go googly eyed.

When I first put this idea on the table, he reluctantly agreed letting me know that he loved the idea of sharing our feelings but doing it in front of others would make him nervous.

I figured that was expected as I would be nervous too but the good kind of nervous. Him…not so much.

Fast forward many months later to this past weekend and I come to find out, he is more than just a little nervous. Every time he thought about the wedding, this feeling would cloud any joy and excitement because he couldn’t get past the nerves of our impending, very public vows. Although this conversation came up in a roundabout way, eventually he shared with me his true feelings. Honestly, I had no idea. And after hearing how it was making him feel, I couldn’t possibly push for the original plan.

He told me that although it was something that would be difficult and nerve-wracking for him, he was so focused on making me happy, he was willing to do anything I asked. It meant so much to me to hear him say that and reminded me yet again of one of the many reasons I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with him. Did I mention that I love this man?

Immediately I decided that it was much more important to me to have him happy and excited leading up to and on our wedding day than to have him nervous and stressed… even if it meant that the personally written vows were out.

It's All About Give and Take :  wedding phoenix relationships Wedding01

(source)

In order to salvage the concept, I came up with a new idea so that I could still get the feeling I was after yet it would only involve the two of us… resulting in zero pressure on him. I asked if he would be interested in writing each other a love letter that we could read to one another during our first look before the ceremony. It provided me with the heartfelt words I wanted to hear on my wedding day and it allowed him to tell me the things in his heart without the audience. With the beautiful, lush trees creating a canopy over the ceremony lawn, I can just picture us seeing each other for the first time and having this special moment together. We love that it’s something that is just for the two of us to share, a calm and tender moment away from the whirlwind of the day.

We both decided this was the best possible choice for us both to be happy and I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that we both get what we want.

And I also have to say, he’s been so much more interested in helping with wedding details than before because now, he actually feels like he can be relaxed and excited as we get closer and closer. I’ve always thought we had good communication as a couple and although it took a bit longer for this to come to the surface, I’m so happy with the way we were able to work it out. And though I didn’t think it was possible, my love for him grows more each day.

It's All About Give and Take :  wedding phoenix relationships So In L

So in love

Did you have any big changes occur during your planning process? Anything you had to bend on to ensure you both were happy leading up to the big day?

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15 Responses to “It’s All About Give and Take”

1.
jackie-o
Member
jackie-o (message)  2,389 posts, Buzzing bee

We’re doing the EXACT SAME THING…..Great minds think alike Froggie ;)

 
2.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Frozen Yogurt (message)  2,685 posts, Sugar bee

Aww, that’s so great that you all found something that makes you both happy and comfortable. We did the note thing too. :)

 
3.
bluestuff
Member
bluestuff (message)  254 posts, Helper bee

We wrote each other love notes to read the morning of our wedding, and we had a friend exchange them for us between hotel room where we were getting ready that morning. I started tearing up in the middle of hair, and he told me he loved his note. Your compromise sounds perfect - sounds like you came to just the right decision for both of you.

 
4.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pudding (message)  1,180 posts, Bumble bee

I love that idea! We’re having a Catholic wedding, so personalized vows are out. Still, I know that Mr. P is nervous about his reception speech.

 
5.
Member Icon
Member
hnjunebride (message)  52 posts, Worker bee

Aww that is beautiful and wonderful you can share your feelings and fears to between each other :) We were going to have our wedding on the beach and all the sudden Junegroom decided we would have it in a beautiful garden instead <3

 
6.
Miss Hermit Crab
Bee
Miss Hermit Crab (message)  3,564 posts, Sugar bee

That’s a great idea, and it will be so special with just the two of you alone!

 
7.
Farfromachildbride
Member
Farfromachildbride (message)  1,006 posts, Bumble bee

Yes - I can totally relate. My FI was really stressed about his brothers’ involvement in our wedding. I was pushing to include them, figuring it was necessary to have all siblings/immediate family involved. But they are completely undependable and they have a tendancy to do rather inappropriate and rude things. As a result, the wedding was a day of dread for my FI, due to his brothers’ involvement. Once we decided to just cut them out of the picture, he made a 180 and could actually get excited about the wedding. Such a huge relief and looking back, it was such an easy decision. I feel bad now even pushing for them to be involved.

 
8.
Frosting
Member
Frosting (message)  7 posts, Newbee

Geez oh pete is that a great picture. SO MUCH LOVE!

 
9.
Mrs. Pug
Bee
Mrs. Pug (message)  3,753 posts, Honey bee

very sweet–glad you found something that makes both of you comfortable and excited.

 
10.
alivoo01
Member
alivoo01 (message)  2,622 posts, Sugar bee

Aw…. that’s such a great way to share your first look! My heart melts at the thought!

 
11.
sf_carrie
Member
sf_carrie (message)  463 posts, Helper bee

I really really love this idea and might suggest it to my FI as well. We are likely going the City Hall route followed by a reception so no personalization of vows for us and I was a bit bummed about that.

 
12.
tea
Member
tea (message)  7,288 posts, Bee Keeper

so far things are going well since we’re just bouncing ideas off each other. he did request earlier to write our own vows but i don’t know if he remembered.

 
13.
OctPumpkin
Member
OctPumpkin (message)  593 posts, Busy bee

What a great compromise! Keeping good communication is really hard but worth working at!

 
14.
Miss Argyle
Bee
Miss Argyle (message)  2,516 posts, Sugar bee

Quite a bit has changed since we first started - but the overall idea is still fairly similar. We mostly bounce ideas off of each other (okay, I bounce ideas off of him), but it’s working for now.

 
15.
Guest Icon
Guest
Officially Hitched: Love Letters | Weddingbee

[...] our first look, my husband-to-be took my hand and led me to a beautiful, secluded area to share our love letters that we had written to each [...]

 

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Mrs. Frog
Mrs. Frog

Mrs. Frog, Phoenix, AZ/Chelan, WA Age and Occupation: 29, Public Relations Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Online Sales Engagement Date: February 8, 2009 Wedding Date: July 2010 Venue: Amy's Manor About Me: I'm an opinionated Midwestern girl now living in the Valley of the Sun marrying a laid back Northwestern guy. I'm equal parts sass, silly and sweet. I'm fiercely loyal with a strong devotion to my family and friends. I have a not-so-secret obsession with apple juice, a new obsession with DIY projects and I love a really good cheese plate...with lots of wine. After 7 blissful years of dating, I'm having the time of my life planning the destination wedding of my dreams to my Mr. Frog-turned-Prince Charming.

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