Weddingbee Blog

Okay, so the last time I talked about dresses, I had decided that I wanted my own consultant to bring me dresses to try on, and that it would be a fun experiment, and that I, of course, would not want to wear a dress for our wedding.

Let’s back up a little and talk about this whole thing where I’m a lady in love with a lady: when I first started to really come out, to myself most honestly, but to other people too, I remember being surprised that it still seemed strange to me that women would kiss women, and men would kiss men. I know this is controversial to say, so imagine how controversial it was to feel that, to feel like two women kissing was like magnets with their wrong ends facing each other, when I was a woman wanting to kiss women. The place I really got over that feeling was at a folk festival, where we were surrounded by all kinds of families, and it struck me that they were just families, not “lesbian” families.

But the thing about two dress weddings (I’m sorry for saying this!) is that it still felt the same to me.

Not exactly the same, but similar. It seemed like something was missing. I love the look of one person in a dress and the other in something sharp and snappy, and different! I even like two dresses, in different colors. But two women in similar white dresses just didn’t seem, to me, to go together – again, it was like the wrong sides of magnets (note: this is no longer how I feel; it’s has been a process for me. But it was how I felt, and that bit of background might help explain my next steps.).

So of course, feeling this way, it was safe for me to try on similar dresses to the one that Fancee picked out (yes, she already found and bought her dress), because I would never end up in one.

We started at a little boutique near Cambridge – the dresses all seemed to be a reasonable price, the person working there was attentive and friendly, and it felt nice to support a small local place. The problem was, I felt crazy in these dresses. They were gorgeous – but who was the person wearing them? Not me!

The pretty one that I gave you a sneak peek of in my first wedding post was beautiful, but I felt like a wedding cake in it. We’re not even going to have a wedding cake (I’m sure you’ll hear more on that later)! The detail was elaborate but beautiful… anything with a tree/leaf theme gets me, and this had it!

Yes, beautiful, but check out the train:

It goes on *forever*. Definitely not something for an indoor/outdoor wedding. I felt like it would be perfect if I was going to stand on display all day, but not so great for maneuvering in a canoe. Not to mention that this dress was well outside my original budget (of $500… was I crazy? Answer to come someday).

So after I fell in love and talked myself out of the corset-back, Wedding-Cake Dress, I tried on Victorian Nightgown Dress. I’m not sure that “nightgown” would be the first thing you thought of if I hadn’t mentioned it, but now try not picturing me as wearing a nightgown:

Notice the look of skepticism on my face. Do I look ready for bed? Maybe.

You may also notice the flower in my hair. I thought it made me look bridal. More considerations of hair accessories to come later in the wedding-prep process, I am sure.

Anyway, Nightgown Dress was obviously a no-go. And then for some reason, I – vest-loving, flannel-wearing, clueless-in-makeup lesbian that I am – decided to try on a lace dress.

Okay, I know I don’t look thrilled here, but I loved this dress. Here is a picture showing my real feelings a little more:

I nearly bought this dress on the spot, but it had such a close tie with the next one I’ll show you that I couldn’t make a decision!

So in the end, I left with no idea what to do. I liked the lace dress and the last dress the best – they were the most comfortable, felt manageable in terms of getting in and out of a canoe and dancing around to bluegrass music, and looked good… but somehow they didn’t click. They certainly did not feel worth giving up my vest-dreams for…

More dresses in part 3! Because I know you like to look at pictures of me in virginal white.