Weddingbee Blog

What is supposed to be one of the most happy and blissful times of our lives is simply not. Instead of going out to dinner with friends, or daydreaming about our honeymoon, we’re miles apart sitting in hospital rooms with our mothers. We have reason to believe everything is on the up and up, but right now life is downright miserable for our entire family.

Happy & healthy just a few months ago! MOH Julia, Me, Mama Seashell, FMIL Justine in October 2009

Just over a year ago Mr. Seashell’s mother was diagnosed with liver cancer.

At the time of diagnosis her tumors were immediately surgically removed and she was cancer free. Her diagnosis and surgery were a whirlwind and shock, but she recovered amazingly and was back on her feet in just a few weeks. Doctors warned that liver cancer is very aggressive, and although they had removed all her tumors, the odds of it returning were almost definite. And indeed, in early December 2009 we got word that her cancer had returned. My FMIL remained optimistic, began chemo, and prepared herself for a fight.

Unfortunately, the cancer created an “unhealthy liver” and she recently developed a bacterial infection. Mistaking feeling under the weather as a side effect from chemo, my FMIL had an infection that went untreated for potentially 6 weeks, at which point it traveled to her blood. Eventually she felt poorly enough to seek medical treatment, and has now been in the hospital for 4 weeks.

Meanwhile, Mama Seashell got news that a tumor had been discovered on her pancreas in December 2009 (the day before we learned my FMIL’s cancer had returned). After weeks of ongoing tests, we had reason to believe that my mom’s tumor was pre-cancerous, but still worth removing. Unfortunately, we wouldn’t have a definite answer until pathology reports were run post-surgery.

I flew home for my mom’s surgery, while Mr. Seashell spent his days working on his laptop from his mom’s hospital room. My mom’s surgery went incredibly well, and it does appear that her tumor was benign. Mr. Seashell’s mother still remains in the hospital and we have spent the last 3 weekends visiting her, in addition to countless nights after work.

Mr. Seashell and I have been blessed with exceptional mothers. They are kind of women who are the heart and soul of a family, and deserve nothing more than joy and happiness during our wedding preparations. I feel frustrated and saddened for our families as a whole. This should be a time that we’re all celebrating. Instead, we’re living in hospital rooms and dealing with doctors and scared for the future. Seriously, I want a refund - this was not the engagement any of us bargained for.

Has reality bitten you as well? How are you coping?