Weddingbee Blog

I may have mentioned moving recently, puppies, and perhaps even getting married in my last couple of posts, and all of this is a good intro to the same thing:

I always want to do things first.

That is to say that I am always the first to want to do things. Occasionally Fancee will mention something that is technically her idea, but it seems that if I participate in the actual carrying out of the plan, then I am the one to take the blame for it being my idea for years to come.

Case A, in which Fancee mentions something that I get blamed for in all relevant future situations: the dog.

Fancee: Hey, let’s go to the Heifer International festival out in Sterling next weekend! By the way, we’ll pass that dog shelter with those puppies you keep ogling online. Maybe we can stop and play with puppies!
Me: Maybe that’s a bad idea, but I love puppies, and I only want a real adult dog, not a puppy. This seems like a safe idea.

We stop and visit Sterling Animal Shelter. We meet “Luna” and I spend the next two days obsessing over her. I go back Tuesday morning. She is sitting next to me staring at me as I type this. Her name is Daphne now.

Fancee: Well, I don’t know why you decided we should stop at the animal shelter, everyone knows that wouldn’t be a good idea for you. By the way, did I tell you what your dog did today?

Case B, in which we discuss moving in together:

Me: Let’s move in together.
Fancee: I like my own space.
Me: Let’s move in together. It’ll be cheaper and I won’t have to keep walking my dog home in the morning.
Fancee: I love you, but I want my own space. And I hate your dog. Why did you get a dog?
Me: I love you, let’s move in together, and remember when you wanted to stop at the animal shelter?
Fancee: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Fine, we can go look at an apartment.

We look at three apartments. We love the last one. We decide to move in.

Me: I like living with you.
Fancee: I like living with you too! I’m so glad I decided we should move in together. Thanks for agreeing with me. I don’t know why it took you so long to come around.*

Case C, in which we discuss marriage**:

Me: I am in love with you. Do you want to marry me?
Fancee: Maybe someday. I never thought of marriage as something for me.
Me: I love you. If I asked you to marry me, would you say no?
Fancee: No.
Me: Does that mean you’d say yes?
Fancee: What’s on TV?

Time passes.

More time passes.

Me: Marry me.
Fancee: I think your dog needs to go out.

Time passes.

Me: I should probably stop talking about this, huh?

Time passes.

Me: I’ll pick you up after work from the train station since you had a rough day.
Fancee: I would like to marry you.

So this time, for once, it went something like this:

Me: How was your day?
Fancee: Let’s move.
Me: Um… I guess our lease is almost up.
Fancee: Let’s move!

I should note that, even when I come up with crazy ideas like the ones I mentioned up there or the ones I didn’t, like getting a kitten or buying a car or quitting one’s job (um, it’s been a very busy year), she has been there all the way to discuss and support and figure out what’s best for us and not just for me and not just for her. We’re really solid and I’m really grateful for the support she gives me and the support that she relies on me for.

That said, it’s really, really nice to be the one just going along with the idea for once. So, thanks, Fancee, for starting the big adventure this time around.

Who has the big ideas in your relationship? Are you good at agreeing on them, or is it a bit of a struggle?

*Note: Many of these conversations are fabricated or exaggerated. Fancee may or may not deny many of these or similar conversations occurring.
**Note part 2: More on this marriage-decision/actual-asking/prettyshinythings in another post or three.