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There are a couple of traditions that we will not be including on our wedding day that have caused some of our friends and loved ones to look at us with a face similar to the one above, then think we are kidding, then get a little mad, and then eventually come around!
1. The biggest concern seems to be that we will NOT be having a wedding cake! It means we will not have one of these babies:
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to do this with:
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And, no, we’re not having a tower of cupcakes either. Although these are delicious and fun traditions, neither of us feel particularly attached to cake, and would rather serve our guests a duet plate of a chocolate dessert paired with a fruity one, and then have one of these:
Oh yum! I could just eat that all right up!
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We’re also toying with the idea of having a goodbye warm chocolate chip cookie gift as guests leave, so our guests will have plenty to satisfy the sweet tooth!
2. We’re not having a traditional bridal party
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My little sister will be acting as flower girl, but we’re not having a Maid of Honor, bridesmaids or groomsmen. We will be involving our friends and family, but in different ways!
3. We’re not doing a bouquet or garter toss (I’m not even quite certain that I’ll be wearing a garter at all, I know, gasp!)
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These are just traditions that did not really speak to us, so we’re scrapping ’em!
However, we will be doing many other traditions that are meaningful to us - all that and more to come!
How did you choose which traditions to keep and which to scrap? Were these difficult decisions to make? Did you leave anyone incredulous at your decision?
We are not doing the bouquet toss or the garter toss either. We do not have alot of single friends and the last thing I want to do is draw attention to them. Not to mention that I hate going up there and I know alot of our friends feel the same.
I am not doing any of those things, either, so you aren’t alone! No cake (well, maybe cheesecake, but no cutting ceremony), no garter or bouquet toss. I do have a MOH, but no other attendants.
We are having a gorgeous dinner-style reception for about 12-15 family and close friends. That’s it- traditions right out the window! 
Yep! No bouquet toss, no garter toss (I’m probably not wearing one, either!). No bridal party dance. No dollar dance. No unity candle (or sand ceremony). We didn’t want to do a cake, but couldn’t find anyone who would do what we wanted to do (a petits fours display), so…well, we ended up with a cake that we’re completely thrilled about! So far we haven’t had any “WHA????” reactions from anyone, except for the fact that we’re not inviting kids - not even our immediate nieces/nephews.
We’re making a lot of things our own as well. It makes the day more meaningful! Plus, if a tradition means nothing to you, what’s the point?
I didn’t wear a garter or toss the bouquet … we did cupcakes and I really didnt plan to do a “cut the cake” until all of the sudden our coordinator was handing us a knife — oops! haha it was fine and cute for photos anyway but don’t worry about not doing all the traditional elements - people don’t miss them!!!
We scrapped some of the traditional elements too. We’re having a bridal party, but it’s only immediate family, we nixed the cake too, and we’re not having a garter/bouquet toss either. I honestly don’t think anybody will miss it!
I’m still deciding whether or not to skip the first dance. That’s something I really do NOT want to do, but think others will miss that.
I think its important that you reflect yourselves in the wedding. Do what you want. People wont notice anyway!
We also scrapped the garter and bouquest toss. Almost left out the father daughter dance as well, but my mother objected to that. Oddly, my father didn’t seem to mind the ide of skipping that tradition (we’re not ones for being the center of attention). We just wanted to do the ceremony, then eat some food and drink come drinks at the reception.
oh good I thought I was the only one not doing a bouquet garter toss. Sounds like that is actually a pretty popular decision!!!
the mister. we’ve been talking about our wedding and i’m realizing i’m a lot more unconventional about the planning than he is.
i’ve gotten weird looks from the mister. we’ve been talking about our wedding and i’m realizing i’m a lot more unconventional about the planning than he is. i thought we could have a mixed gender wedding party and he would not budge. oh well.
I’m not doing a bouquet toss and probably not wearing a garter (my mom was suprised about the garter…why I’m not sure). I don’t have a lot of single friends and I don’t want them to stand on the dance floor. I also don’t want my fiance’s grandmoms to see him go up my dress. I feel that I need to explain to people about the bouquet toss…but why? As brides we should do the things we want that make the day memorable for us. I went to one wedding where there was no dancing, that’s what that couple wanted because it was their day.
Those are hard decisions to make, so good for you guys! We knew we didn’t want to do the bouquet/garter toss either, and looking back, it wouldn’t have fit anywhere in our reception anyway!
I really want to scrap the idea of a cake..I am thinking more a a pie buffet, and made from home. I also want to scrap wedding transportation, and the bouquet toss. Now that you all mentioned it I need to see my list of single ladies bc I don’t want them to feel ackward!
Well, I’m not wearing a garter, or a white dress. I will be wearing a pink dress and veil. It’s been cool, I think I’ve been internalizing imaginary pressures about breaking tradition. No one seems to care that my dress is pink
Ahhh the whole garter toss situation just creeps me out. That will most certainly not be at my wedding.
it’s more important that you do something that makes sense for you, right? ignore those doubters!
Garter toss = ick. Not planning on doing that. Pretty much going with everything else, although I’m not getting married in a church which, as a Christian, I always thought I would do. So that’s kind of a traditional thing, I guess.
Not sure about the bridal bouquet - I kind of want to keep mine! I don’t want to give it to someone who is just going to throw it away. They are expensive! I’m also not sure about the whole “smashing cake in the face” idea. I definitely want a cake though. I don’t really like cake, but how often do you get a cake that is totally decked out in a crazy shape or cool colors or whatever. I’m looking forward to that!
I can count myself on a couple of those as well - no cake for us, pie all the way and no garter/bouquet toss. We’re such rebels…or something.
um, there are so many things we ARENT doing that i finally stopped telling people about them. i just tell people i havent made a decision on anything yet and will continue to tell them that until the week before the wedding, when it will be too late to change it.
no garter or bouquet toss, no grooms cake, no dollar dance, really no big deal made out of cake cutting (we will do it, but immediately after dinner very quickly) or smashing it in each others faces, no creative exit, no favors, no church or religion, and my dress will likely be gold.
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Mrs. Hermit Crab, New York, NY Age and Occupation: 24, Youth Director soon to be Grad Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Medical Student - soon to be Surgery Resident Engagement Date: October 11, 2008 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: New York Botanical Garden About Me: I love all things food, books, our furbaby, Rashi, and adventures with my amazing fiance (oh, and saving the world!). This summer I will not only be a bride, but a bridesmaid, officiant, and attendee as well---it's all about weddings in my life right now, full of so many exciting moments and projects. We're planning a fab New York City wedding weekend full of family, love and lots of color!
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