Sixty Minutes

Sixty Minutes

May 27th, 2010 @ 10:16 am by Mrs. Sewing
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One hour is all we get to set up for our reception.

You know, that one hour, when Mr. Sew and I are at the altar getting married?

I have no idea what we’re going to do. I didn’t bother with a coordinator or wedding planner since Mr. Sew’s family assured me they could handle it. Plus I thought I could handle it. Someone we spoke to at our venue said we could set up earlier if there was no event prior to ours, giving me hope I shouldn’t have allowed myself to have.

I made it a point to ask every so often, and was happy knowing there was nothing going on before our wedding. Well, I asked again yesterday and received the e-mail stating that there is now an event prior to ours. Thus giving us just one hour before the reception to get tables arranged, chair covers on, place cards in the right order, flowers where they are supposed to be, and the DJ set up. And whoever decorates will not be able to be at our ceremony.

I wanted to cry when I read that e-mail. But I guess it’s something I should have accounted for, knowing that the place we chose is more geared towards business functions rather than wedding receptions. They are following the letter of their policy; it was wrong of me to believe they’d be more accommodating just because it’s a wedding.

Chin up, Sewing - time to figure out what to do with this mess.

1) I could hire a coordinator. Would he/she be able to do it on her own? Coordinators are awfully expensive, especially if all I need is someone to decorate. Can I hire decorators? Can I trust them to implement my vision?

2) I could ask my brother’s friends in Hawaii. They don’t know us at all, so missing a ceremony wouldn’t be a problem. I’d have to add them to the guest list, and once again trust them with my vision. If my instructions were clear enough, it might be okay.

3) We could ask some of Mr. Sew’s more distant relations to set up anyway, and miss the ceremony. According to Mr. Sew’s aunt and mom, this isn’t a big deal and happens all the time - but it just feels wrong to me.

4) We could have a huge family decorating crew run over to the venue as soon as the ceremony is over, and do a decorating blitz in the 20 minutes or so between ceremony and reception. This scares me on so many levels, but Mr. Sew’s family is confident they can pull it off. Though, not knowing what they have to set up, I’m not sure where this confidence is coming from.

One thing for sure is that I will make separate bags or boxes for each table ahead of time, and put all the stuff that goes on the table inside. Hopefully that will speed up the process. I’ll have to make detailed mock-up pictures and floor plans, too.

Right now I’m leaning towards a mixture of #2 and #4. Sewing-Bro’s friends can help with the big, easy stuff like chair covers and such, and Mr. Sew’s family can swoop in and make sure place cards are correct and aunt so-and-so is sitting next to her BFF and not some-sworn-family-enemy.

How long do you have to set up your reception? Can it be done in under an hour? Who is helping you out? I envy you brides that get to set up the night before. There is nothing I’d like better than to oversee the set-up myself, *sigh*. Perhaps this is a lesson in “letting go”?

Tags: honolulu, reception, Venues |

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39 Responses to “Sixty Minutes”

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Member

sapphirebride (message) 1,747 posts, Bumble bee

I think you really need to get some help here! We are having family set up for our reception, but that will happen before the ceremony and the rest will be a quick flip after the ceremony. I think your brother’s friends sound like a pretty good plan, or you could contact some DOCs. Even if they don’t want the job of just one hour of set-up, perhaps they have a contact that would? I doubt one hour of set-up would run you very much money. In any case, I think one of the options that doesn’t involve any family missing the ceremony is key.

5/27/10 @ 10:34 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Stripes (message) 1,063 posts, Bumble bee

I think that #2 sounds like a good plan if a. your brothers friends are reliable and will definitely show up and b. if there is one friend/person you can put in charge to direct everyone else. I think that the wheels fall off when no one takes charge and delegates, especially with the time limit factor!
Yikes- sorry Sew! I know you’ll figure it out and it will all be awesome though!

5/27/10 @ 10:36 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Hot Dog (message) 317 posts, Helper bee

That is such a bummer! I think #2 sounds like a good plan. I would have a weird feeling about asking family to miss the ceremony to decorate, too.

5/27/10 @ 10:38 am (reply)

Guest

vanessa

i don’t get much time also, i think an hour might be it….our ceremony is at 5 and we cant set up till 5:30. So I’m hiring someone to set up the flowers and favors and stuff like that. My aunt does a lil bit of catering and stuff so im going to use one or two of the ladies she uses to help her.

5/27/10 @ 10:40 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Snow (message) 916 posts, Busy bee

Oh, crap, Sewing. I can imagine that this is totally stressing you out! We get into our venue @ 2 (for a 5:00 ceremony) and we’re stressed about that!!

I think you might try to find a professional to orchestrate your decorating. They probably have a lot of expertise about organizing people and decor in short amounts of time. We’re also paying some of our event staff for a few additional hours of work so they can help with the set-up. An event coordinator might be able to swing something like that on your behalf.

Family could certainly help, but with a professional, you don’t have to worry about getting frustrated with a loved one who doesn’t get all your amazing details… A DOC or something like that might also organize all the family help.

With two-ish weeks to go, I’m on team “do whatever it takes to alleviate your stress”. Which solution will help you enjoy your wedding the most?

More power to you Sew, no matter which route you decide!

5/27/10 @ 10:41 am (reply)

Member

AmberWaves (message) 326 posts, Helper bee

Miss Sew whatever you do, get help. I just got married on Oahu and had planned to be able to set up everything after our ceremony. Our set-up was super simplistic. However, the ceremony took longer than anticipated, traffic was horrible, we got lost on the way to the reception, etc. We didn’t arrive until 30 minutes after our reception started! All of our guests were there and nothing was ready except the booze and pupus. So while the guests didn’t care, I did. My only major regret from our wedding is that I didn’t hire a day of coordinator or find someone that could’ve helped out so everything would’ve been ready ahead of time.

5/27/10 @ 10:44 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Pug (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

oh sew how frustrating! it’s good that you’re thinking of a plan on how to do this. while i think #2 is okay, #4 sounds a bit stressful–i worry that you’ll be thinking about it during your ceremony. you want it to be done and finished by then!

if there’s any way you can fit it into the budget, i think a coordinator would be great because it will be his/her *job* to know what your vision is (as much as family is lovely they are not going to be as anal as a coordinator) and get it done. on the other hand, it sounds like mr. sew’s family really wants to help out.

maybe you could write up *everything* that needs to happen, how you want it set up, and evaluate again which would be the best route.

at least you found out now instead of a week before the wedding, so you have plenty of time to figure this out!

5/27/10 @ 10:47 am (reply)

Member

teaadntoast (message) 2,595 posts, Sugar bee

I really, really think that money spent on a coordinator would be well worth it at this point. As has often been repeated on Weddingbee, your wedding is more important to you than it is to anyone else, and while relatives and friends are always willing to help out, it’s unlikely that they’ll be as invested in the details as you are. Sure, no one but you will care if the place cards aren’t just so, but it’s YOUR wedding and you’ve poured precious time and money into crafting lots of these smaller elements.

5/27/10 @ 10:48 am (reply)

Guest

Joyce

I asked a friend to help set up for my wedding place cards the night before and it ended up taking her longer than what I envisioned because the venue’s tables were not set up exactly as planned so she had to make changes right then.

You really need someone who can be “in charge” and knows how to handle any “changes” that can occur.

I think #1 is ideal and you can negotiate a lower fee if that’s the only thing you are expecting the coordinator to pull off for you.
They should be more familiar with dealing with changes that can occur last minute at a venue especially the fact that there is an event before hand.

If you choose #2, you need to put one of them in charge to make decisions. If they are not the decision making type/someone who can be in charge if something is not as planned, then this is not really a good choice.

#3 is same as #2 in terms of you need someone who wants to take charge.

#4 I think you are running short of time and too risky on this option.

5/27/10 @ 10:53 am (reply)

10.

Member

jgoulart (message) 1,069 posts, Bumble bee

Put an ad out for some weddingbee helpers!! I’m sure there are some in Hawaii… ((I’m sure they’d be glad to help you out pro-bono))

5/27/10 @ 10:55 am (reply)

11.

Member

shaydenise (message) 1,151 posts, Bumble bee

Luckily my venue doesn’t schedule events the same day as a wedding BUT our wedding is on one of the biggest college football games of year for us (FL/GA game Woo go gators!) so there is a possibility they will do something the night before or outside on our day for their members (country club) which would mean no set up the day before. I’ve said I don’t mind if I have to get up super early to work on things (since I’m a perfectionist like that lol) but my family and FMIL are completely opposed to me doing anything. I think this will stress me out even more knowing I can’t see if they truly got my vision… Ahhh lol

Good luck to you! I hope you figure out a good way to set up!

5/27/10 @ 11:00 am (reply)

12.

Guest

Steph

Same thing happened to me! Some suggestions:

-have a team of family/friends ready to be there and take tasks
-label boxes/bags with instructions in case you have to leave before everything is out
-let everyone know there is no coordinator and to either decide themselves or ask you! i had lots of “but who can i ask…” to which i answered “there is no one! Just me!”

Good luck!

5/27/10 @ 11:03 am (reply)

13.

Member

mrstilly (message) 1,399 posts, Bumble bee

We were lucky enough to set up the day before, but we had some assembly to do as well as a lot of food to put in the fridges. With a group of five, we set up everything in under 2 hours, which included assembling the place card holders, moving out extra tables and chairs, and setting up the food prep area. We weren’t working at full speed though, since some friends had just arrived in town and met us there for set up.

We hired a day of coordinator and only paid $250 for her and a friend of hers to help out. I’d see if you can find someone you can hire to just do set up. Maybe your brother’s friends would do it, but I’d try to make sure that they are reliable.

What helped us was having a detailed floor plan for placement of tables, food area (we had a buffet), cake tables, drink tables, dancing area, speaker/music area. We also had a seating chart, and the place cards were already in order by table, so that made it easy to just plop them into the holders during set up.

If you aren’t having place cards at each seat (we did because we had long rows of tables, so it was easier) then have them in order and have a little chart with how you want them laid out. You can write up step by step directions, and maybe have a relative or friend who knows how things should be set up, that can be “on call” in case of issues or questions. Obviously no one wants to miss the ceremony, but I’m sure anyone there would be willing to help out if they were needed.

5/27/10 @ 11:04 am (reply)

14.

Member

mrstilly (message) 1,399 posts, Bumble bee

Also, if you contact some coordinators in the area, someone might be willing to do just set up for a very reduced fee if you explain what you need.

5/27/10 @ 11:06 am (reply)

15.

Member

ktisthatbees (message) 2,742 posts, Sugar bee

http://savvycoordination.com/weddings.asp#Facililator

I did a little research and found this place. They might be a good option because you can hire them on a “per hour” basis. Meaning you can pay them to come for an hour or two, set everything up, and that’s it.

5/27/10 @ 11:13 am (reply)

16.

Member

BrianneG (message) 938 posts, Busy bee

I’m so sorry, Sew. I found out recently that there’s another event in our room but luckily we get about two hours before the ceremony to start setting up. It bugs me that I won’t be there to do it, but I enlisted a group of girls from my hen party and a friend/DOC so it’ll get done. I don’t want to make my family do anything since they’ve traveled so far.

5/27/10 @ 11:16 am (reply)

17.

Member

amariem25 (message) 3,733 posts, Sugar bee

I would do 2 and 1. 4 sounds too difficult, and a whole group of family members often won’t care about the vision as much as you do. You need only a couple people who understand what you really want.
Do you have a florist who is putting up flowers at the reception? I had our florist do most of the decorating. For an extra fee she set up a lot of the items - table signs, diy centerpieces, etc.
I also had designated 3 friends to set up the remainder of the items and had given them detailed instructions on where everything goes. They did a great job. They had even met other friends at the ceremony that came and helped them set up.
Go with a small group of people to set up. Or ask one your vendors if they can help for an extra fee. Having a large group do it in 20 minutes doesn’t sound like a great idea to me.

5/27/10 @ 11:21 am (reply)

18.

Member

thebriz (message) 448 posts, Helper bee

I don’t think you should ask family to miss the wedding - the ceremony is what makes way for the reception. Though if you have trusted friends that aren’t going and wouldn’t mind helping out - and you don’t mind the extra guests - that’s definitely the way to go. You can try having a ton of people rush over and if need be, just push back the reception by a half an hour - which will give you extra time, if you can.

But I’d suggest seeing if you can find a day-of-coordinator. This is totally different than a full coordinatory. There are many that’ll work with a budget and there are some newbies in the business that would love to just get their feet wet and will cost you next to nothing - especially since we are only talking about 1 hour of work. Try Craigslist or another bridal board in your area - don’t be surprised.

5/27/10 @ 11:34 am (reply)

19.

Member

HolyVowels (message) 338 posts, Helper bee

I agree with jgoular… Are there any local Weddingbee peeps? If I was there, I would totally help out! If that doesn’t work, then DOC sounds like your safest bet.

5/27/10 @ 11:37 am (reply)

20.

Bee

Miss Sewing (message) 2,701 posts, Sugar bee

@sapphirebride: hmm, that’s a good point. I didn’t think of trying to find someone at an hourly rate!
@Miss Stripes: good point. they are trustworthy kids, but I don’t know if any of them have the leadership capabilities to bark orders and make decisions..
@vanessa: good luck with your hour too! at least you have a plan!
@Miss Snow: true, i think that ‘least stress alternative’ strategy might be a good one!
@AmberWaves: thanks for the first hand perspective! i hadn’t thought about the ceremony running over or traffic at all, but those are very legit concerns! but at least the food was out!
@Mrs. Pug: yeah, i think a lot of my hesistation on the doc thing comes from the fact that his family is very “we can do it, no problem!”, which make me happy, but still not entirely at ease (because of the lack of control I have?)
@Joyce: good point, there could be last minute changes. having someone who can make decisions sounds like a necessary requirement!