Weddingbee Blog

So I’ve talked about how we’re both wearing dresses for our ceremony and I think I mentioned that F Stripes is changing into a suit for our reception, but did I mention that it’s the cutest suit ever??

No, seriously. The Cutest Suit Ever! For the cutest hottest fiancee!

See for yourself:

Wedding wardrobe decisions have sparked some interesting and unexpected conversations about gender identity, self perception, and beauty, both in our house and in my little wedding blogosphere.

I think it’s safe to say that we all want to find wedding attire that represents our very best authentic self. We want to look, and more importantly, feel beautiful on our wedding day. But I think that for a lot of queer women wedding attire can be a very complicated issue. Cue eye-rolls and a chorus of, “duh Stripes.” You want to look and feel your absolute best, but your absolute best might not be a big ol’ cupcake wedding dress. Or even a simple modern wedding dress. It might be an awesome suit. Or a vest and tie. Or something else.

So in a wedding world where beauty most often equals a big white dress, some queer women must reconcile themselves with the fact that their more masculine gender expression and consequent choice of wedding attire may not be perceived as beautiful or bride like. And that’s bullshit. So to all you suit-lovin’ ladies (F Stripes too!) I just want to say thank you for helping us redefine and expand our notion of beauty. I LOVE the diverse gender/style expression of our community and would NEVER presume that a butch woman is any less a woman or trying to be a man—so I’m sorry (and a little horrified) if my two-dress lovefest came off that way to some of you. I DO think the most empowering thing you can do on your wedding day is to celebrate exactly who you are—whatever combo of dress/dress, dress/suit, suit/suit that happens to be!

And so despite my ardent love for our two-dress wedding, I think it’s icky that notions of beauty and gender identity are so totally tied up in wearing a dress. A woman in a suit is still a woman. And a woman in a suit is beautiful. And hot! (See above photos.)

Oh! And I finally tried on a few big ol’ weddingy-wedding gowns and I felt absolutely stinkin’ ridiculous. And I do wear dresses sometimes. So I’m sticking with my short dress. And F Stripes is changing into her awesome suit. And that’s that.

Where do you fall on the wedding day gender expression spectrum? Did you have trouble finding wedding attire that “felt like you?” Or are you changing into something that feels more authentic for your reception?