Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Ms Seahorse
more by Ms Seahorse (oldest)
Older blog post by Ms Seahorse
Ms Seahorse's Picture
Ms Seahorse, Boston Age and Occupation: 25, Veterinary Jane-of-all-trades Fiancee's Age and Occupation: 36, former non-profit fundraiser in search of something better Engagement Date: October 17, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Fort Pond Lodge About Me: By day I'm a cat-wrangler, vet tech assistant, pet-sitter, receptionist, and pre-vet student, but the rest of the time, I'm a former-roller-derby girl turned dedicated-wedding planner. I love reading, writing, bicycles, animals, roller skating, and antique-y things of all sorts. I'm a vegetarian who likes spicy foods, while Fiancee Seahorse is a meat eater who does not like spices. We live outside Boston with our menagerie: a fifty pound dog, a one-eyed, seventeen-toed, toothless cat, and a perfectly put together cat who has a penchant for pooping near rather than in her litter box. In addition to planning our small lake-side wedding, we enjoy running around with the puppy, playing board games (Scrabble, anyone?), having little adventures, talking about how we should really clean the house more, and maintaining our little garden of vegetables and wedding flowers.
About Ms Seahorse

All in a Tizzy

May 30th, 2010 @ 2:00 pm by Ms Seahorse

Dear Internet Friends,

First, this is a post I wrote a little while ago, so the references to the rain and cold are not lies, just out of date. But the other stuff is not out of date. So here you go.

Lately, I have been somewhat absent because I have been panicking.

It’s not your fault, internet; I just want to fill you with goodness and good moods and “Yay my nose isn’t broken!” and “Haha I let big hard issues roll off my back, no problem.”

And, okay, for real my nose is not broken, and that is definitely good. And for real there is a lot of stuff that I can let slide, like the mean people at work and the crazy people at work and the not making much money but it’s okay because I love my job. But sometimes after a yelling client and a demanding client and a just plain crazy client, someone comes in with an accent and I can’t understand what they’re saying, and it’s not their fault, but they’re the fourth really difficult person to deal with and I just can’t do it anymore.

And that is sort of how these past couple of days have been going. The rain and the wind don’t help, and having to walk a dog in the rain and wind don’t help.

The big issue that we’re facing, and that a lot of people are facing, is finances.

This is not something I know how to talk about well somewhere like a blog. Fancee and I are struggling to learn how to talk about it well just between the two of us, and I think that this is also something a lot of people deal with. When Fancee left her job, we knew that it would put us in a very tight place financially, and we were awesome at budgeting for the first month. Well, today we got some bills in the mail and it turns out that while we stressed about it more this past month than we did the first month, we did not budget nearly as well. And after that realization we went and met with a caterer and had to talk about money some more. I’m sure you’ve heard that weddings are not cheap (ha. ha.).

This is another one of the times where I stop and say, “Is this what we want?” Do we want to be married somewhere other than the church we go to, or my parents’ backyard? Do we need all these people there, or could we do with just our immediate families and very close friends? Do people really need to eat food?

And the answer I keep coming back to is that, yes, these things are important. We love the location of our ceremony and reception, and it is so affordable that cutting it out wouldn’t save us much at all. We do need all of the people we want there to be there. They are our community, our family, the people we want to affirm our relationship and promise to support our marriage as a community. We need them there. And rumor has it that people like to eat. I like to eat, and Fancee likes to eat. And if we’re going to have food, we should just go ahead and have good food, right?

It’s a struggle to do what we want with our wedding and to keep our head above the “OMG it’s a wedding you have to have everything you are a princess for one day it’s your only chance everything must have diamonds on it OMG!” chaos. It’s a struggle to accept that feeding our guests might mean that we can’t hire movers for our move next month.

Blech, sorry for the “woe is me” post; hopefully it’s out of my system and we’ll return to regular happy blogging shortly… that said, I know I can’t be the only person going through this.

How are other people dealing with making the decisions about some big life things versus others, whether it’s a wedding or something else? This morning I took the Beast and we went for a 2 mile run in the cold wind and rain. This made me feel better, if a little wet. Please, share your vices/solutions/tell me I’m not crazy. Thanks, hive.

Tags: budget. boston |
advertisement below

Related Posts

  • No Related Post
Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Ms Seahorse
more by Ms Seahorse (oldest)
Older blog post by Ms Seahorse

14 Responses to “All in a Tizzy”

1.
Miss Bumble
Member
Miss Bumble (message)  135 posts, Blushing bee

Trust me, you are not crazy.

As my mom always told me: “This too shall pass.”

 
2.
QuarterNote
Member
QuarterNote (message)  40 posts, Newbee

We’re all in the same boat. :) I didn’t say it’s not a crazy one, but we’re all in it!

My FH and I are paying for our wedding ourselves, and we refuse to get into debt to be married. This makes for some tough decisions on the day to day, but I have to keep reminding myself that in two months, this whirlwind of existence will come to an end, and I can have my own, plain jane life back.

Hang in there…I have to tell myself the same thing every day!

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Stripes (message)  1,063 posts, Bumble bee

Ugh. Wedding finances are the worst- especially on one income (we’re in this boat too). On a brighter note I do think the conversations about money/things we learn about each other and how we deal/want to deal with finances while planning our wedding are totally invaluable! Here’s to deep breaths, lots of analyzing and reanalyzing the budget, and making peace with the things that you DO think it’s worth spending money on. Having our wedding validated by our community and eating yummy food were both important to us too- so I think that will be money well spent! :)

 
4.
JuneBride_26June2010
Member
JuneBride_26June2010 (message)  1,739 posts, Bumble bee

4 more weeks!!!!! seriously, I am counting down the days until our wedding is over so that we will actually have $$!!! it’s not even the wedding that is stressing me out so much, it’s the fact that ALL our extra $$ has gone to the wedding instead of to things we need (or want for the house). and - long story short - I took a FABULOUS job last year that technically paid more than my previous - but was actually a cut because my other had overtime (and this one didn’t) - and was promised a raise in 6 months but that became a year…and so my raise goes into affect literally a day after our wedding. so “AFTER THE WEDDING” has become our mantra around here. almost so much that we resent the entire thing. BUT it WILL be beautiful and it IS the “one day i get to be a princess”. and just like Miss Bumble said “this too shall pass”…

but i agree - sometimes it’s like “is this all really worth it?”

 
5.
Guest Icon
Guest
linda

AFTER THE WEDDING you second guess “was it worth it”?
I can only say being married more than once…… 1st time not the big wedding. 2nd time - the whole $$$ sha-bang…. nine years later…… priceless. and yes still very worth it.

 
6.
that girl
Member
that girl (message)  71 posts, Worker bee

You’re not crazy.

Although we could probably ‘afford’ to spend more, we don’t want to go into debt nor do we want to spend just for the sake of spending. Every financial decision we make for the wedding goes through a pros and cons checklist with price alternatives. Not very romantic but I’d rather know I’m make the right decisions.

Things fall into place, regardless of the budget and I’m surprised to find inexpensive or free options that fill my ‘must haves’ after a little digging. It’s almost like a game for me now.

Hopefully you have the same luck!

 
7.
Guest Icon
Guest
Imperfectly Perfect

I feel you. My fiance and I both have student incomes (which basically means no income at all) and dang right it is stressful. And even after the wedding we are worried about things like affording to rent a new place and that sort of thing.
But as stressful as that all is…you are marrying the person you love, and together you will get through it.
It would be nice if it was easier though, aye?

 
9.
Member Icon
Member
mwwedding (message)  7 posts, Newbee

I am in the same vote as you. Originally we wanted a small wedding with a cocktail, dessert and horsdevours (I think I spelled that wrong) reception. There are plenty of weddings that do that these days. I didn’t do it after all because the locations I was choosing did not have that option. So, we found a place that had a great deal for a meal. Everything was going perfect until all his family wants to go. Too expensive. I am not stessed financially and also, if we go over our limit of people they will have to give us another room. so, my backup plan is… 1) send my invites late and hope that everyone can’t make it. 2) Go exempt on my paychecks for a month and a half and then after the wedding adjust my paycheck to take more taxes out so, that way it will balance at the end of the year. Wish me luck!

 
10.
Member Icon
Member
tweds (message)  448 posts, Helper bee

I’m sorry, Seahorse :(

When faced with my budget, I made a list of things I wanted in the wedding - photography, food, dancing, etc - and put them in three columns: Nonnegotiable, Negotiable and Possible strike/DIY. Then I put price tags on the Nonnegotiable things and moved from there.

This really destressed me, put everything in perspective and helped make budgeting easier. I keep myself honest with an Excel spreadsheet (I smiled when I saw yours for venues, I’m the same way). In the end, this meant a 21 month engagement, which made me (more than) a little impatient and sad.
But with 4 months to go, so far, so good.

All the best to you and Fancee (love that!). You two’ll figure it out :)

 
11.
daydreamwanderer
Member
daydreamwanderer (message)  9,017 posts, Bee Keeper

We really struggled too, and we made some decisions early on that I kind of regret. We decided to do a full meal, which was gracing the edge of our budget, because we have so many people coming in from out of town, and in retrospect, I wish we’d chosen a dessert reception instead, because it’s always easy to add more on later if finances allow, but it’s not easy to downgrade once your caterer has been given a budget or meal options, etc.

 
12.
babymilka74
Member
babymilka74 (message)  515 posts, Busy bee

You are so not alone. The pressure of “Is this dress more important than a dining room set? Or a vacation?” is HUGE.

 
13.
alivoo01
Member
alivoo01 (message)  2,622 posts, Sugar bee

You’re definitely not crazy nor alone Miss Seahorse! Hang in there as there’s always a silver lining somewhere… :-)

 
14.
Miss Argyle
Bee
Miss Argyle (message)  2,516 posts, Sugar bee

You’re definitely not crazy. I think we all deal with it in some way or another and on some level.

 

Leave a Reply


You can also just...

Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Ms Seahorse
more by Ms Seahorse (oldest)
Older blog post by Ms Seahorse

Visit our sister sites eHarmony
Online Dating
eHarmony Advice
Dating Advice
Project Wedding
Wedding Songs
JustMommies
Pregnancy Calendar

Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
 

Find your vendors on Weddingbee

Real reviews from brides in your area!

Favors by Weddingbee

  • Favors by season

Shop Now »

Ms Seahorse
Ms Seahorse

Ms Seahorse, Boston Age and Occupation: 25, Veterinary Jane-of-all-trades Fiancee's Age and Occupation: 36, former non-profit fundraiser in search of something better Engagement Date: October 17, 2009 Wedding Date: September 2010 Venue: Fort Pond Lodge About Me: By day I'm a cat-wrangler, vet tech assistant, pet-sitter, receptionist, and pre-vet student, but the rest of the time, I'm a former-roller-derby girl turned dedicated-wedding planner. I love reading, writing, bicycles, animals, roller skating, and antique-y things of all sorts. I'm a vegetarian who likes spicy foods, while Fiancee Seahorse is a meat eater who does not like spices. We live outside Boston with our menagerie: a fifty pound dog, a one-eyed, seventeen-toed, toothless cat, and a perfectly put together cat who has a penchant for pooping near rather than in her litter box. In addition to planning our small lake-side wedding, we enjoy running around with the puppy, playing board games (Scrabble, anyone?), having little adventures, talking about how we should really clean the house more, and maintaining our little garden of vegetables and wedding flowers.

Boards
Classifieds

Blog Calendar
February 2012
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
2930311234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
26272829

Weddingbee Bios
Wiki
More