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Just kidding. I do not have an exciting proposal story. We’re just not that kind of couple. Mr. Knitting and I have been together for six years and planned to eventually get married for probably about the last four. Actually taking the step of being officially engaged was a matter of me deciding that December would be a nice time to get married and since December 2009 was too close, it would be December 2010.
Why December? The month of December is probably my favourite time of year. I get this really cozy feeling and an intense desire to bake lots of treats for the whole month. Okay, to be honest I pretty much always want to bake lots of treats (see photo of my devilish looking baby sister and yummy peanut butter chunk cookies), but this is especially true during December. Anyway, since it’s my favourite time of year it seemed like an excellent time to get married. To me (and probably many people) it’s also very much a time of year that’s about family, and what is more about family than a wedding?
I ran my plan by Mr. Knitting and being the easy going agreeable guy that he is, he agreed that that would be a lovely time to get married.
We went out to buy the ring I’ve had picked out for months. That’s right, I already had a ring picked out months ahead of time. That’s actually one of the reasons that I figured we needed to get on with getting married. If you already live together (we do), know you intend to spend your life together (we did), and even have a ring picked out (check), then perhaps it’s time to get on with the wedding. I should also note that the fact that my father made it clear he and my mother would be able to help with the finances definitely was a factor as well.
After buying my ring we celebrated with take out from our favourite Indian food place and that’s about it! So that’s my ever so fascinating engagement story. No, it’s not great story telling, but it is very us. Simple, straightforward, lacking in pretense, and planned pretty much entirely by me! However, I do sometimes feel a bit of pressure to explain to people that just because I don’t have a super traditionally romantic proposal doesn’t mean that I don’t have a loving and wonderful relationship. Even though I know logically that this proposal was absolutely what I wanted, it can be hard to explain to others sometimes. Anyway, I’ve decided not to be insecure or feel like I have to explain anything. I’m just going to be proud, happy, and excited!
Anyone else proud of their pretty pragmatic proposal story?
*I should note that I have nothing against more traditionally romantic proposals and think they can very lovely, but they just aren’t for us.
I think that’s a lovely story and you shouldn’t worry about how others react to it. I’m happy to hear that there are others in this boat- E and I are going on five years now and will probably have a similar non-proposal proposal. We are all about being practical.
I think you guys have a sweet love story and that is far more important than a sweet proposal story! My dad never “proposed” to my mom and they have been happily married for 25 years!
i think your story is cute 
ours too was pretty pragmatic. we had talked about getting married for a long time, were on the verge of living together, and neither of us are big fans of those big show-stopping proposals (i promise you i would have said no if the proposal occurred on a screen at a baseball game!) i was talking to my friend about this and we decided that pragmatic proposals are much better than those all-out ones when the couple hasn’t discussed marriage before… nothing’s worse than two people being on totally different pages!
I look forward to hearing more about your wedding because we also got engaged in December ‘09 and are planning a December ‘10 wedding (New Year’s Eve). We did the whole traditional proposal and he totally picked out the ring on his own, but it came around when it did because we were both talking about weddings so much that it was definitely time to start planning our own. Welcome!
Yay! I’m so happy to hear that I’m not the only one with a pragmatic-not-so-romantic proposal story.
We’ve also been together for 6 years, living together for 4. He’s wanted to get married forever and I just wasn’t ready. Until I was. That little voice inside my head kept getting louder and louder until one night over dinner (and after a glass of wine) I completely shocked him by letting him know I was ready. We kept it to ourselves (save a few of my super best friends) for about a month or so, during which time we went and bought a ring together and made plans for announcing it to our families and friends. Then, when the time was right, we had our own private ring giving moment and then we went and told all our loved ones together.
Lots of people ask about how he proposed and want to hear a romantic, movie-like story, but I love telling them that we did things our own way. For me, it was a process that represented everything I love about our relationship - total openness, equality, communication and teamwork. In marriage we will make decisions together and starting out our engagement the same way is all I ever could have wanted.
Don’t let the reactions get to you! Be proud of your proposal story!
And also, I love your winter wedding vision! If school schedules hadn’t been a factor, I would have loved a cozy winter wedding too.
I think it’s great, and if it’s very “you” then it’s even better.
my bf and i have been together for 10 years (since we were 15) and living together for 6. we knew we were going to get married and had looked at rings together and stuff. then, one day at our coffee shop, he pulled out one of the rings we’d found at a vintage shop and said “i’m not going to ask because it sounds silly. but… i think we should get married”. over chai tea and oatmeal. actually the fact that it was such a “normal” day was probably the only way he was able to surprise me! if he’d been romantic, i would have known it was coming (since he’s just… not!)
I think any proposal story that is very much “the couple” is a great proposal story
Thats very similar to my parents proposal story - they had already decided they wanted to get married, then one weekend my dad’s mother was coming into town to visit and they decided to run out and buy the ring so they could “officially” announce it to her. I think its sweet!
It is great that you are both on the same page about what is “you”
Hi,
It’s a very cute story, I love to bake too can you post that delicious looking cookie recipe !!
I agree that everyone wants to hear the romantic story, I picked out my ring and emailed it to him (subtlety is not my strong suit). He wrapped it and put it under the Christmas tree, and I had a pretty good idea what was in that box.
No amazing romantic story, when I tell people who ask how he did it they always seem to look disappointed, almost like they feel sorry for me. But our engagement was very us, and I think he like me shaking the box every day and playing dumb about what was in it.
That’s pretty similar to our story. We didn’t live together yet when we “got” engaged, but we’d been together for over three years, knew we were going to get married, and were pretty much at the point that we had to start planning if we were going to get married when we’d planned to. It worked for us!
I think your story is perfect because it fits who you are.
The most romantic proposals are the one’s that absolutely suit the couple. There’s nothing more romantic than a couple who is secure in their relationship. YAH! I love your story. Our’s is full of dorkiness and it’s soo us.
My dad proposed to my mom by saying, “I think we should buy a couch together”. They’ve been together over 35 years and are still very much in love today. To each his own I say!
What a lovely story! I set the tone pretty early that I didn’t want anything to be ambiguous- I told him to ask me to officially be his gf (in HS) and the rest kind of followed “traditionally.” I think it really speaks to your communication skills and that you’re in tune with each other that you could just set a date and get engaged when you were both ready.
Thanks everyone! I loved reading all of your (and your parents) proposal stories.
Oh my goodness this story makes me feel so much better. The Mr. and I decided back in February that we wanted to get married. So we set a date, and no he didn’t officially propose and no I don’t have a ring. I almost feel the need to defend myself whenever people hear that I am engaged and then look at my blank finger. I feel like saying, “no I am not a crazy bride that is pushing her man into matrimony, he wants this too!”. I am still working on feeling comfortable with it, but hopefully I will get to the point where you are, comfortable in your story as a couple.
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Mrs. Knitting, Toronto Age and Occupation: 24, Student Recruitment Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Neuroscience PhD Candidate Engagement Date: October 2009 Wedding Date: December 2010 Venue: University of Toronto Faculty Club About Me: I'm a pearl wearing, etiquette book reading Toronto girl who loves cooking and baking, museums, charm bracelets, and collecting books on Jackie Kennedy (a lot). I've been known to spend Sunday mornings at the antique market, Wednesday evenings at sister sushi dinners, and any bit of spare time reading. After six and a half years of many late night walks, watching DVDs together in bed, travelling to places like New York, and Tobermory, doing Sudokus together on the couch, lots of Indian food, the occasional yoga class, moving in together and so much more, Mr. Knitting and I are planning a cozy Christmasy (it's a word!), vintage wedding in Toronto complete with many DIY projects (eek!) and lots of help from our amazing group of family and friends.
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